text + image; an invitation

[indispensable]

Type: Text (with image)
Sender ID: vulturvolans (Alhaitham)
To: Public
Subject: Wedding Invitation
Warnings: 500% Gay. You have been warned.

[This particular image will appear on the network without any prior warning one fine day. One will quickly be able to deduce that it is a photo taken from a collection of similar looking invites nearby.]


[Transcript:
Kaveh & Alhaitham
Invite you to share our joy
June 18th
Latrommi (Ignore the fact that it says Eltrut shhh)]

This is Alhaitham.

Kaveh and I are hosting a celebration as detailed above. RSVP with him if you wish to attend so that we can make the necessary arrangements. You may also do the same with me, but note that I have changed my shellphone ID to the one you currently see.

[...and yeah he's just gonna end it there. Eloquent as always, huh?]

Comments

text: un;catsgothistongue

[catsgothistongue]

[You know, after the shitshow with the corpses and hottest person contest in the last week, something jocund is needed to sprinkle some joy back in their lives. What's more merry than a wedding?]

Surprised you two hadn't already tied the knot given the times you guys bicker like an old married couple. Congrats.

[He sincerely means that, he's not being snarky. Yet.]

text; un: paridisaea

[empyrean_mirror]

...we really need to work on your compliments.

is this your RSVP, then?

[catsgothistongue]

If you can tell they're meant to be compliments, do they really need working on?

Sure, why not, could be fun. Last time I attended a wedding, it bombed. [Badum tish] Do we gotta dress up all nice in tuxes and dresses?

[empyrean_mirror]

I'd appreciate getting dressed up but if you don't have anything fancy I won't force you.

[catsgothistongue]

I'll see if they've got a suit that isn't too stuffy in town.

[Cause guess what, he actually likes Kaveh. He'll play nice and dress cordially.]

... Speakin' of dressing up, there's another question I had about that.

[empyrean_mirror]

Yes?

[If you are about to ask if he's wearing a dress, Ranma Saotome, he is putting a bloom core in your pillowcase.]

[catsgothistongue]

Back where I'm from, only a guy and girl can get married. Do both of ya wear suits, or do one of ya gotta wear a dress?

[It's fine, he doesn't need pillows to sleep.]

text; un: vulturvolans

[indispensable]

He's not wearing a dress.

[Even though he'd probably look good in it—but no. Suits are way nicer.]

[catsgothistongue]

[...]

And here I was, thinking you couldn't be any less aesthetically pleasing to look at.

[Can Alhaitham even pull off a wedding dress?]

[empyrean_mirror]

He isn't wearing a dress either.

And he looks handsome, try not to disparage my fiance in front of me.

not here

[indispensable]

[Totally giving Kaveh a look here that says without words 'he's not invited'.]

[empyrean_mirror]

[Let him come and he'll let you get the Fish Cake Topper, Alhaitham.]

[indispensable]

[You know he can get the cake topper by himself, right.

It doesn't even have to be on the cake, it can just be a display piece at home.]

[empyrean_mirror]

[We're not discussing the other bribes in public.]

[indispensable]

[...well you got him there.]

not here

[catsgothistongue]

[Even if he isn't invited, you know he'll find a way inside anyway.]

not here

[indispensable]

[And he'll find a way to kick you out until Kaveh pulls a puppyface at him or something.]

very not here

[catsgothistongue]

[And cause a big scene at your own wedding? Tsk tsk.]

[empyrean_mirror]

...Well, traditionally we'd get kurta, but I don't think we'll go that far, so just suits.

[he looks amazing in a dress but that's not for public consumption.]

[catsgothistongue]

Gotcha. I was joking asking that anyway.

[... Half-joking.]

[empyrean_mirror]

...I see.

Do me a favor and promise to make no jokes about any of the decor he picks, alright?

[catsgothistongue]

... Do I wanna know?

[empyrean_mirror]

It's his wedding too, Ranma, I am giving him the freedom to enjoy it.

[catsgothistongue]

That's not boding a lot of confidence, Kaveh.

[empyrean_mirror]

It doesn't need to.

I just need you to promise to keep your thoughts inside your head until it's done.