shellphones | Scrambled Egg Zone Act II

Entry tags:

Scrambled Egg Zone Act II

Type: Video
Sender ID: reneggadetinkerer (Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik)
To: Public
Subject: A proposition, of sorts
Warnings: Scheming

[Now that Eggman has been here for a few months, he's about ready to make some moves. Specifically, he's been working on a little project. It's taken him some time to acclimate to the magitech of this world, and to gather appropriate resources, but the good doctor is nothing if not industrious.]

Attention fellow riftfarers!

I realize that I have not exactly made the...best impression to most of you. And still, there are others who come from my particular sphere of reality who have warned you that I am not to be trusted.

I readily admit that I have made a great many...missteps in my time. But never let it be said that Dr. Eggman can't shed his shell!

And so, I come to offer my particular brand of expertise. Behold!

[Eggman steps back and procures a small disc. A disc that, with the press of a button, creates a small projection of five, animal-themed automatons.]

These designs might be a bit antiquated but I am offering to construct these automatons for interested parties with custom functionality! They're quite good at reconnaissance and security, but they can also be used as personal assistants and companions! In fact, if you were interested, I could scale them down and make them into fun little toys for yourself or a friend! And I am offering these "Radniks" at a pittance! Whatever you wish to pay, I will gladly accept!

Consider this a peace offering from the great, magnanimous, Dr. Eggman.

And, if you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask~

[OOC: Step one of Eggman's latest scheme is happening! These bots, while not dangerous now, are part of a long term scheme! If you're interested in getting involved, please feel free to let me know! You can reach out to me on the CR meme where I have some more details or message me on Discord of plurk at

bitterbearface]

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[That's kind of cute... however...]

And just how much should I trust you having access to that kind of data regarding it's surveillance of my business, hmm? I do promise confidentiality with all of my clients in my particular line of work, and they might not feel inclined to do business if they or I have any reason to believe that a third party might cause that promise of confidentiality to be broken in some manner.

[He's sure the Doctor is only saying certain things, because they can get away with it. Which is annoying. Probably what they want. So he won't give the doctor the pleasure of acknowledging his yammering until the subject was relevent. He will instead take note of the changes since he was last in this warehouse. More organized, one can see a start of a workshop. The screens...Eggman has certainly been coming along in here. Who knows what else the doctor has done that they're choosing not to reveal to them.

He looks at the screens for some time, noting where and what they're showing. He's still listening as Eggman shows Tails one of their radniks. Eyes avert from the screens for a moment to watch them.]

[Tails takes the Motobug with practiced care, holding it upright to see if it shows signs of activation. Satisfied that it's powered off, he starts flipping it over, inspect it from more unusual angles.]

We'll get to the firmware in a moment. Smaller doesn't necessarily mean less dangerous, even before we bring nanobots into the discussion. [Just thinking about the metal virus makes his brow knit in frustration.] Are these designed exactly like your badniks, except for the scale? Or have you included any other gadgets in their bodies?

[Or weapons, rather. But it's not an important distinction.]

Why don't you power one on for me?

[ Amy looks less than impressed as she stares tiredly at the mustachioed man amd his shit eating grin. Ugh. ]

A peace offering, huh? Never thought I'd hear those words coming from you, Eggman.

[ She pauses, though, honing in on what is probably the most important detail here-- ]

Radniks, though? Really?

Like you can actually pull that off. Nothing beats the original!

[Said with aplomb and pride radiating off him.]

Knowing my luck with clones, "Robo-me'd" probably hit on me instead of tryin' to hit me.

[Flippantly mentioned like some offhand comment.]

It's not a bad idea. They'll fit in more easily here.

[She almost asks about the technology in his world, but it's not important. From the way he describes them as 'for defense' she begins to suspect they're more like Shinra's creations than anything else.

She'll just...keep up the cheerful encouragement.]

You'd probably sale more of them that way. Lots of people like pets. These could be like mechanical pets.

You're proposing symbiosis. This world seems to take to that concept given the nature of the leviathans.

But asserting that line of thinking implies that the leviathans, too, can be corrupted.

For you, maybe.

For the time being, rodent. You have little to worry about from me.

Your fanclub has seen to that.

Not if I program it with the sole purpose of trying to learn from and overcome you.

In fact, my greatest creation is ever evolving to defeat its quarry.

Destroy you? Why in blazes would they do that? If anything they should have learned from you!

But you are..."Geth" was it? Interesting. I would very much like to examine you.

[At Legion's question, Eggman waves his hand dismissively.]

No, not these. I wouldn't waste sentience on these.

[Eggman reaches up to where he'd taken the Motobug and procures a rudimentary remote. With a press of a button, the Motobug springs to life and attempts to rev it's wheel in Tails' hands. It doesn't attack, it merely seems to want to roll around, content to exist in a roaming subroutine.]

As you can see, every Radnik I sell will come with its own personalized remote for pre-programmed behavioral routines. Should the client wish, I can upgrade each unit to be more autonomous to fit their needs. However, as you can see there are no weapons. And as I'm sure you can already surmise, yes, I can interface with them remotely for scheduled maintenance, should the client wish. It's part of my "customer service" agreement.

[He tosses the remote to Tails with a smug, satisfied grin. He's displaying all of his cards willingly because they both know what Tails is going to scrutinize. Why would he hide weapons when that's the first thing these furballs will look for?]

Would you care to look over the contracts, terms, and services as well?

You're free to be as thorough as you like.

Then you're in luck! In fact, cleaning and organizing are what I programmed most of my personal assistants to do back where I come from! I can easily accommodate such a simple request!

The more I study, the more that familiar symbiosis becomes.

I believe that it is possible, the corruption- something happened that caused this world to flood after all. That much turmoil and possible fear...

[The visions from those crystals—]

Still, when the trouble is rather large they come in to join the fight when it's at sea. I have even seen Nogard take flight and have poisonous scales dropping from its body as if they were mines.

...I believe that entirely depends on the size of dragons in our respective worlds.

[Eggman sighs in exasperation. This is all so imprecise.]

They're smaller, I would imagine. Comparable to a whelp, at least.

Ah I have also designed penguins. Some of my earliest works, actually. Behold!

[A moment later, an image appears.]

Penguinator!

Yes I admit I'm banking on people's desire to own frivolous mechanical contraptions, whether they be toys or companions.

Admittedly, I find the company of machines far more preferable.

Naturally, I'd let you inspect my work. If you have any experience in engineering or mechanics, I would even allow you to examine the code. I can also provide a contract...a sort of..."terms and conditions."

Any surveillance gathered by your unit would be accessible only to you and I can easily program a unit to purge any data on a nightly schedule unless you specify what it is you wish to keep.

Any backdoor I have into the unit would be for necessary updates and patches. Beyond that, perhaps we could come to an arrangement.

I'm not above bargaining.

[Of course another one of that Hedgehog's friends is here. What is this, a convention? When will that pea-brained Echidna show up? Why can't someone he tolerates show up? Like Metal? Or...]

[...Metal.]

[He lets out an exasperated sigh.]

Yes, well...as you can clearly see I'm at a disadvantage without my Eggfleet, resources, factories, and allies. So I am attempting to make the best of it.

So they do have free will? The way they're so protected, I believed they were at least controlled.

Regardless, as interested as I am in the leviathans, I have to establish myself first. Hence the Radnik Project.

[Once Eggman starts the Radnik, Shadow will approach to get better look at it's function. Seems harmless, but he knows better than to simply accept the Doctor's words and what's being presented.]

Not having weapons doesn't mean they can't still be a threat. [They could use something else as a weapon that's within their vicinity, or themselves as one.]

They feared an uprising.

(And thus, they made it a self-fulfilling prophecy.)

This unit is not available for experimentation.

(They're not letting you take them apart, Eggman.

~~They might be agreeable to sharing history, culture, and publicly available blueprints, though.~~)

You were here for the Dragon's Gale festival, right? Most of them are like that.

[In other words, big.]

That might be too big for now... Here - [He swings the camera down, to reveal the baby griffon. Who is chewing on a large leg bone. Assan himself is probably about the size of grey wolf. And color, for that matter.] He's growing, but overwhelming him at this point won't do any favors.

Oh no no no, you misunderstand. I do not wish to experiment. I simply wish to learn and study.

None of your bolts and bobs will be removed, I simply wish to learn how you were constructed.

I believe I could learn a great deal about the Geth and that, in turn, would prevent me from...making the same mistakes that lead to your creators turning against you.

And this one came with you when you washed up here? That's unfair. I would love it if one of my companions came with me.

I suppose I can come up with something scaled down.

How fast would you say he is?

Hey, could be worse. You didn't have to live with wet griffon. I'd say that's a fair trade.

[He's giving his charge a hard time. Davrin would live with wet griffon and dry Assan with the clothes off his back if he had to.]

In the air? Eagle speed, especially when he dives. Ground? Probably hunting dog speed, if he's out in the open.

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Scrambled Egg Zone Act II

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video; id: havenofear

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