shellphones | Scrambled Egg Zone Act II

Entry tags:

Scrambled Egg Zone Act II

Type: Video
Sender ID: reneggadetinkerer (Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik)
To: Public
Subject: A proposition, of sorts
Warnings: Scheming

[Now that Eggman has been here for a few months, he's about ready to make some moves. Specifically, he's been working on a little project. It's taken him some time to acclimate to the magitech of this world, and to gather appropriate resources, but the good doctor is nothing if not industrious.]

Attention fellow riftfarers!

I realize that I have not exactly made the...best impression to most of you. And still, there are others who come from my particular sphere of reality who have warned you that I am not to be trusted.

I readily admit that I have made a great many...missteps in my time. But never let it be said that Dr. Eggman can't shed his shell!

And so, I come to offer my particular brand of expertise. Behold!

[Eggman steps back and procures a small disc. A disc that, with the press of a button, creates a small projection of five, animal-themed automatons.]

These designs might be a bit antiquated but I am offering to construct these automatons for interested parties with custom functionality! They're quite good at reconnaissance and security, but they can also be used as personal assistants and companions! In fact, if you were interested, I could scale them down and make them into fun little toys for yourself or a friend! And I am offering these "Radniks" at a pittance! Whatever you wish to pay, I will gladly accept!

Consider this a peace offering from the great, magnanimous, Dr. Eggman.

And, if you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask~

[OOC: Step one of Eggman's latest scheme is happening! These bots, while not dangerous now, are part of a long term scheme! If you're interested in getting involved, please feel free to let me know! You can reach out to me on the CR meme where I have some more details or message me on Discord of plurk at

bitterbearface]

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Radniks.

And they have multiple uses across various fields. The better question is, young man...

What do you need one to be?

[Scratching his chin in thought.]

Dunno what I'd need from your gizmos that I can't get on my own or from someone else. Training dummy, maybe, but...

[He takes another gander at the projected mock-up.]

Those things don't look they can take a lotta hits. [They'd probably bump into a wall and sustain a major fender bender. That, and about 4/5 of them don't even have proper appendages useful in a fight. And the one that does has claws, so...]

Well, it's true these older designs weren't the most sturdy, perhaps I can offer you something else.

What exactly would you be 'training' for?

[Truth be told, that's not boding a lot of confidence in Ranma being a potential buyer. Wasn't like the opening announcement helped convincing him to spend a single cent either... Work on your sales pitch better dude!]

For fighting? I'm a martial artist, so having something to hit and-or hit back would be great.

[Again, there's like hundreds of other options he can go to. Granted, something convenient could come in handy...]

So, you wish to have something to test your combat prowess?

Hmm...tell me, young man. Have you ever considered fighting yourself?

[Ooh! A clone of himself?

Near-instantly, without missing a beat:]

Been there, done that already.

...Kinda.

[Can he really say he "fought" that mirror clone of himself, when she was more focused on hitting on guys and him. And not in the fighting way.]

Not interested in a robotic duplicate of yourself that can surpass you in every way?

A pity. I've experience in making those.

Like you can actually pull that off. Nothing beats the original!

[Said with aplomb and pride radiating off him.]

Knowing my luck with clones, "Robo-me'd" probably hit on me instead of tryin' to hit me.

[Flippantly mentioned like some offhand comment.]

Not if I program it with the sole purpose of trying to learn from and overcome you.

In fact, my greatest creation is ever evolving to defeat its quarry.

[Oh ho? Now the yolk jokester's talking his language.

Eggman'll be able to see the martial artist perk up, interest crossing over his face.]

Huh, that'd actually be kinda cool.

[Out of the wide variety of foes Ranma's fought in his life, anything mechanical never came up. Closest to it would be that one mech 'anti-bully protection' suit Gos bought in another shortsighted sceme to defeat him. And that blew up on him because he didn't bother reading the fine print.]

Could you even build something that could perfectly match me in everything? Or in general, for that matter! 'Cuz both don't seem very plausible here...

[The latter because magitech's only starting to bloom and thrive, and the former cause. Well. He's him, the true deal! How could some robo-him ever dare to compare?]

I would have to run some tests on you, but if you're willing to show me your strength, I am positive I can replicate it. I have experience in replicating both super speed and overwhelming physical power in my creations, after all.

Even if what you display is considered superhuman, I have every confidence I can not only match it, but create an AI whose sole purpose would be to beat you.

A true challenge! And should you overcome, I'll simply repair it and have it challenge you again!

[And in no way is this going to result in a superweapon with all of Ranma's insane skills that is loyal to Eggman.]

[Impressive province he's boasting about. Ranma can't help but be a little sold on the idea of a test partner that's truly his equal in more ways than one.]

Deal!

[Obvs, Ranma isn't going to show off everything. Best to keep several cards to his chest, keep those advantages with him. If robo-him is supposedly going to be as skilled as overcoming challenges and adapting, then what's the harm in giving it and the doctor a few surprises they won't expect.

Beat.]

Call it Radma, and the deal's off.

Why would I do that? All of my robotic duplicates carry the name of the original. Would you prefer "Metal" or "Mecha" before your given name?

[This guy's... totally hopeless when it comes to naming things, is he? Ranma crosses his arms, mulling over the options.]

'Metal Ranma' has a nice ring to it. Mecha makes it sound like it's gonna be ginormous.

[Like a Gundam or Megazoid. Which sounds... very badass having a giant robo-him all to himself, ngl. Way too ambitious and a ton of logistical nightmares to deal with and more importantly way out of his price range indubitably.

That reminds him...]

How much is this going to cost me, by the way?

Free of charge! You've sparked an idea in me and this is as good an opportunity as I'll get to learn what people from other worlds are capable of.

I suggest you bring your best when I call upon you for tests, Ranma!

[Sweet! That certainly brought a smile to his face, and a sigh of relief to his wallet. Some would be a little suspect that the mad scientist would give them an entire robot on the house if they were in Ranma's shoes. And... Yeah, there's a part of him that feels this is sketchy and going to cause problems for him down the line.

Buuuuut all of that is outweighed by the part of him that figures that hey, if he gets a cool robo-ranma for free because of how awesome he is, what kind of idiot would he be to say no?]

That's what I do best.

Now, there will be some conditions, of course. Specifically, I can't have you just abscond with proprietary technology! I will house it here once it's constructed but I will give you access to it whenever you that urge to punch strikes you.

[This kid is just a human Knuckles. Which suits him just fine, that Echidna is as gullible as they come and was once incredibly useful.]

[You fool, his urge to punch is 24/7.

All of that sounds fine and dandy, but Ranma can't help but gape at the stipulation set.]

Woah, hang on a sec. Why can't I keep it at my place? Seems like less of a hassle than having to swing by your joint any time I want to fight it.

[Now tbh, he doesn't actually have any issue with that. He's a little confused, but if that's the only way he can actually get a super fighting robot made, then so be it.]

You won't have to. I'll give you a remote that will allow you to activate it, setting it out on its mission to find and destr— er..challenge you. Wouldn't it be more interesting if you didn't know how your opponent would strike at you and, instead, attacked and forced you to adapt and overcome?

Storing it here allows me to perform constant maintenance on it since you'll no doubt give it a good thrashing. I'll even include notifications for when Mecha Ranma is under maintenance so you'll know!

[That slip of the tongue doesn't go unnoticed. Eggman's lucky that in Ranma's dictionary, 'trying to destroy him' and 'challenge him' are synonymous to one another. Otherwise he'd be rethinking... Actually, wait, no. No he wouldn't.]

Fair point. That's how most of my own training went back home anyway.

[It's almost like he never left.]

How long will it take for you to get it up and runnin'?

Well, the first thing I'd need to do is run some physical tests on your capabilities. I'll need to measure strength, speed, agility, endurance.

I'll have to put you through the wringer.

I sincerely hope you're not all talk, boy.

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Scrambled Egg Zone Act II

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Apologies for the delay!!

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