Dr. Eggman (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
reneggadetinkerer) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
shellphones2025-03-07 05:19 pm
reneggadetinkerer) wrote in shellphones2025-03-07 05:19 pm
Scrambled Egg Zone Act II
Type: Video
Sender ID: reneggadetinkerer (Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik)
To: Public
Subject: A proposition, of sorts
Warnings: Scheming
[Now that Eggman has been here for a few months, he's about ready to make some moves. Specifically, he's been working on a little project. It's taken him some time to acclimate to the magitech of this world, and to gather appropriate resources, but the good doctor is nothing if not industrious.]
Attention fellow riftfarers!
I realize that I have not exactly made the...best impression to most of you. And still, there are others who come from my particular sphere of reality who have warned you that I am not to be trusted.
I readily admit that I have made a great many...missteps in my time. But never let it be said that Dr. Eggman can't shed his shell!
And so, I come to offer my particular brand of expertise. Behold!
[Eggman steps back and procures a small disc. A disc that, with the press of a button, creates a small projection of five, animal-themed automatons.]
These designs might be a bit antiquated but I am offering to construct these automatons for interested parties with custom functionality! They're quite good at reconnaissance and security, but they can also be used as personal assistants and companions! In fact, if you were interested, I could scale them down and make them into fun little toys for yourself or a friend! And I am offering these "Radniks" at a pittance! Whatever you wish to pay, I will gladly accept!
Consider this a peace offering from the great, magnanimous, Dr. Eggman.
And, if you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask~
[OOC: Step one of Eggman's latest scheme is happening! These bots, while not dangerous now, are part of a long term scheme! If you're interested in getting involved, please feel free to let me know! You can reach out to me on the CR meme where I have some more details or message me on Discord of plurk at![[plurk.com profile]](https://plurk.com/favicon.ico)
bitterbearface]
Sender ID: reneggadetinkerer (Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik)
To: Public
Subject: A proposition, of sorts
Warnings: Scheming
[Now that Eggman has been here for a few months, he's about ready to make some moves. Specifically, he's been working on a little project. It's taken him some time to acclimate to the magitech of this world, and to gather appropriate resources, but the good doctor is nothing if not industrious.]
Attention fellow riftfarers!
I realize that I have not exactly made the...best impression to most of you. And still, there are others who come from my particular sphere of reality who have warned you that I am not to be trusted.
I readily admit that I have made a great many...missteps in my time. But never let it be said that Dr. Eggman can't shed his shell!
And so, I come to offer my particular brand of expertise. Behold!
[Eggman steps back and procures a small disc. A disc that, with the press of a button, creates a small projection of five, animal-themed automatons.]
These designs might be a bit antiquated but I am offering to construct these automatons for interested parties with custom functionality! They're quite good at reconnaissance and security, but they can also be used as personal assistants and companions! In fact, if you were interested, I could scale them down and make them into fun little toys for yourself or a friend! And I am offering these "Radniks" at a pittance! Whatever you wish to pay, I will gladly accept!
Consider this a peace offering from the great, magnanimous, Dr. Eggman.
And, if you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask~
[OOC: Step one of Eggman's latest scheme is happening! These bots, while not dangerous now, are part of a long term scheme! If you're interested in getting involved, please feel free to let me know! You can reach out to me on the CR meme where I have some more details or message me on Discord of plurk at
no subject
Not having weapons doesn't mean they can't still be a threat. [They could use something else as a weapon that's within their vicinity, or themselves as one.]
no subject
Right. You could even turn this Radnik itself into a weapon. All it would take is an intentional defect, and it might start sparking, or even explode...
[But that's just hypothetically speaking. There's no signs of any danger. At its absolute worst, this little thing could be a trip hazard.]
[Eggman's invitation, however, makes Tails look up at him with concern.] You're making people sign terms and conditions, huh? [Sigh.] I guess someone has to be the one to read through the fine print. Fine, give it here.
[He doesn't expect Eggman's master plan to be buried in legalese. But he does expect that it's going to be painful to read through, because the doctor has to get his kicks somehow.]
1/2
So true! Weapons can come in all shapes and spiny sizes, can't they?
But as you can see, these not only lack armaments, they barely have enough power capable to keep themselves functioning. There's nothing especially high-yield about them. And if they were defective, I would be losing out on funds wouldn't I? It wouldn't be in my best interests to sell a faulty product when I'd be expected to make returns or waste valuable resources on repairs. A clause you'll find in the terms and conditions I painstakingly wrote.
[Which he helpfully forwards to Tails with a few keystrokes of the air. Yes, he's linked his Shellphone to his gloves. It's more efficient that way.]
[It also looks cooler.]
However, let's not mince words. You both know me. Would I hide a masterful scheme behind something so...pedantic? There's nothing memorable about a byline leading to the downfall of my enemies. There's nothing satisfying about misleading you with legalese.
If I wanted to bury you you would know it. If I wanted to drown the rest of this world in trifles and toys then I would do just that.
[He looms over them both, hands clasped behind his back.]
Face it. You all fear me because I do not hide. I am the epitome of an omnipresent threat and you're all sitting on the edge of your tails waiting for a move that you can't be sure will ever come. You are all stewing, waiting for the day when I unveil my masterwork that will bring this world to ruin.
And that's the beauty of it. I don't have to do anything. I live in your heads, rent free. I've won by virtue of existing.
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Now! Can I interest either of you in one of my Radniks? I'm offering a Buy One Get One special for the next thirty seconds!
No better way to pry into my master plans than to take one of these little beauties home with you!
no subject
Keep talking that talk. He can see Eggman trying to make them lower their guards, think he's won. Rake in trust from these foolish people in this world, than strike when it gets the most recognition for him. He huffs, glancing towards the fox. That moment of irritation passing once he got his head together.] An underwhelming victory for you, if that were true.
[He stays quiet at their offer for a Radnik. He was already considering to take one to keep under survellience, but hearing the doctor suggest it, acting as if he was steps ahead of them...No, he has to commit, no matter what head games the Doctor deploys.] Fox. [It wasn't a demand for their attention, just a prompt nod to the offer at hand.]
no subject
[He's still listening, though, as Eggman delivers the kind of sales pitch that would make anyone want to refuse it out of principle. It reeks of sleazy used car salesman. But on the other hand, much like Shadow, he was already planning on taking one home and hacking into it. He'll begrudgingly take the bait.]
All right. But I still want to finish reading through this first. You went through all the trouble of writing it all out, right? [He scrolls through, getting a good sense for its length.] And I'm curious, because this really isn't your style. I would have expected you to just write, "Dr. Eggman can do what he wants", followed by two buttons that both say "ACCEPT".
[It's not like it's actually going to matter. He's going to jailbreak his Radnik immediately, and Eggman knows it. But he's going to do the diligent smart guy thing and read it anyway, undeterred by the head games.]
[As he muses on the whole speech, though, he settles on one short thought.]
You know... if you only ever wanted our attention, there's much easier ways to do that.
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[He once more clasps his hands behind his back and rocks on his heels a bit as he regards Tails.]
Pah. You think I need a contract for that? No, this is all for the sake of transparency. Not just for my clientele, but for you all as well.
I require funding for my endeavors. You all wish to see me integrate properly into this society. You're over-complicating the situation.
[With a wave of his hand, he seemingly dismisses his villainous monologue. Of course they'll never take him at face value and that's part of the game. Rack up enough merits so that when he does make his move, the crushing blow will be precise.]
[These stupid hedgehogs all have the same fatal flaw, after all. Guilt. And Sonic's guilt when faced with yet another catastrophe that he could have stopped if he only had the spines to do what needed to be done is all the incentive he needs to play nice.]
Now, how will you be paying? I did say "Buy One, Get One" not "Take whatever your grubby paws want." I'm running a business, not a charity.
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Why, this might just be, as the kids say, my supervillain origin.
no subject
[Also: Tails only arrived a short while ago. He has very little money, and he doesn't want to hand it all over to Eggman.]
Didn't you want us to properly inspect your Radniks, so we can let everyone know they're safe? Because I'm definitely not going to give my seal of approval based on such a short demo. In fact, I'll probably be telling people to watch out for your sales tactics...
[Zero stars, Eggman. Your move.]
no subject
On the condition that you publicly vouch for their safety and quality! I am trying to sustain myself here, Tails.
A glowing, public recommendation by you and Sonic would be just the ticket I need to legitimacy!
Of course, I have issues if you publicly disclose your findings as well! I have nothing to hide!
Do we have a deal?
[Eggman holds out one of his large, gloved hands to the smaller fox.]
1/2
You're asking for one endorsement. No strings attached. And... that's all?
[Because that means he still gets to write the script, and he's already putting together some drafts in his head. Disclosing all findings is a good start — even if it's Eggman handing him that blank check, he'll happily cash it in. While he's at it, he can provide other helpful information, to give everyone an idea of what to watch for. And he can emphasize that the doctor is out to prove his legitimacy, which would shift the tone of the endorsement in a crucial way.]
[But he still has to be positive in his review. Glowing, even. And he'd rather be sincere about it, rather than tearing into Eggman with thinly-veiled sarcasm.]
[It'll be a challenge. Tails thinks he sees the solution, but whether he's up to the task... well, he'll just have to believe in himself.]
2/2
[He takes the extended hand and gives it a small but firm shake. His expression looks more like someone who's agreed to a challenge, rather than struck a deal.]
This works out pretty well, actually! I was already looking for an excuse to start up a new TailsTube series. So, technically speaking — you'll get to be the first sponsor!
no subject
Perhaps I can create some ads for you to run, then! It'll be mutually beneficial, of course!
Here's to new partnerships, then! I'm rather certain neither of us will be disappointed with the results!
[Eggman shakes rather strongly, but not too hard. It's enthusiasm. Because he's well aware that Tails will likely use this as an opportunity to..."Educate" the populous about his endeavors. Which suits him just fine. The court of public opinion is fickle, after all. It's seldom true that the public waits around for specifics when a disaster strikes. When Eggman makes his move, he might lose credibility.]
[But he won't fall alone.]
no subject
Ridiculous.
1/2
2/2
[But that wouldn't sit right with him. So, let's keep going, shall we?]
He's right — the show is already going to be sponsored content, so running your ads would be ridiculous. It's like putting a hat on a hat!
[Yes, he knows that's not what Shadow was referring to.]
How about this: Any time you're interested in sponsoring a video, you have to give me one of your inventions in exchange. Of course, I'll always have the right to refuse, since this isn't going to be a recycling service for your abandoned prototypes...
But for starters? If you can give up a second Radnik for inspection — one for Shadow to take, and do whatever he pleases with it — then as a follow-up episode, I'll give you an interview on camera. Fact-checked, but fair. How does that sound?
[Or does he have to make a more blatant appeal to Eggman's ego?]
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However, I would offer one more condition.
[He points accusingly at Shadow as he speaks to Tails.]
You ask me to bequeath one of my creations to him when you and I both know he'll destroy it without a thought or care! I'm not made of spare parts and my adorable automatons would be better suited with people who won't seek to break them the moment they have one.
Guarantee that this one won't destroy my glorious work, and I would be happy to part with a second.
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... Eggman, you must have a lot of confidence in me if you think I can stop Shadow from doing what he wants.
Besides, if he busts it right away, isn't that his own loss? I can't imagine you'd be willing to replace it for him...
no subject
[He doesn't wait for an answer.]
Of course you don't, which is why I enjoy doing it! But I digress, I believe we have what the seafaring rapscallions of this world would call an accord.
I look forward to our coming partnership, Tails.
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It's a great opportunity to show everyone how much of a team player you can be.
So, uh... do we get to pick which one of the five models we want?
[He doesn't exactly have a favorite here, but there's some he would prefer more than others. More than anything else, though, he wants a different model than Shadow's. Just to check over more of Eggman's work!]
no subject