shellphones | Scrambled Egg Zone Act II

Entry tags:

Scrambled Egg Zone Act II

Type: Video
Sender ID: reneggadetinkerer (Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik)
To: Public
Subject: A proposition, of sorts
Warnings: Scheming

[Now that Eggman has been here for a few months, he's about ready to make some moves. Specifically, he's been working on a little project. It's taken him some time to acclimate to the magitech of this world, and to gather appropriate resources, but the good doctor is nothing if not industrious.]

Attention fellow riftfarers!

I realize that I have not exactly made the...best impression to most of you. And still, there are others who come from my particular sphere of reality who have warned you that I am not to be trusted.

I readily admit that I have made a great many...missteps in my time. But never let it be said that Dr. Eggman can't shed his shell!

And so, I come to offer my particular brand of expertise. Behold!

[Eggman steps back and procures a small disc. A disc that, with the press of a button, creates a small projection of five, animal-themed automatons.]

These designs might be a bit antiquated but I am offering to construct these automatons for interested parties with custom functionality! They're quite good at reconnaissance and security, but they can also be used as personal assistants and companions! In fact, if you were interested, I could scale them down and make them into fun little toys for yourself or a friend! And I am offering these "Radniks" at a pittance! Whatever you wish to pay, I will gladly accept!

Consider this a peace offering from the great, magnanimous, Dr. Eggman.

And, if you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask~

[OOC: Step one of Eggman's latest scheme is happening! These bots, while not dangerous now, are part of a long term scheme! If you're interested in getting involved, please feel free to let me know! You can reach out to me on the CR meme where I have some more details or message me on Discord of plurk at

bitterbearface]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[Don't mind the oddly misty background or the blue flowers it's fine it's just a controlled environment greenhouse set-up. Lil bit foggy—]

I see you have made the step to go through with this idea after all- and I am interested to know how well it goes for you.

[Genuinely so.]

Ah, Turo!

Yes, I've never been one to rest on my laurels when there's progress to be made. Unfortunately, I can't be as charitable as I would like with these.

Still, my hope is that I can be a...pillar of the community and show everyone I'm not such a bad egg.

It is as good a place as any to start- I did similarly after all, even if my own constructs are on the more plush side of things.

[Meant to take a beating or just distract from merely existing.]

I still earn from each one sold, which has been enough to help support certain endeavors with other forms of income.

[No way.

There's no fucking way. There has to be a catch. There's always a catch with Eggman!!

Sonic has to watch this a few times before he's able to actually articulate an answer. He doesn't bother with video, mostly because he's uhhhhhh not really at his best thanks to that one giant monkey thing, but surely Eggman can picture the look on his face]

...You're calling them Radniks. I mean, I know you're old...

[Oh, cool, this bozo again. From the brief instance he saw him on the network, Ranma already pegged him as an earache. A verbose one at that...

Can't lie though, whatever "Dr. Eggman" is advertising (what kind of name is that anyway??) does get him curious enough to not immediately put his phone on silence and ignore what the doctor's selling.]

So what're these thingamabobs [Sorry doc, you cannot get him to shred his self-respect and call them "Radniks" unironically. That name sounds like you're trying way too hard to be "hip" with the kids.] good for, exactly?

[See! He gets it!]

A necessary rebranding!

Isn't this what you wanted?

Radniks.

And they have multiple uses across various fields. The better question is, young man...

What do you need one to be?

I've found that rampant consumerism is often a good vice to exploit, yes. My hope is that I'll be able to move onto bigger and better things before too long.

And don't think I've forgotten about your little drone. I'll be happy to add my personal touches to it whenever you're ready.

If nothing else, those who find some novelty in them may at least be willing to offer something. Any sort of advancement catches interest in some circles when it comes to technology.

[Just going to be sitting by the door of the misty enclosure-]

I have made some progress on it, and another acquaintance certainly gave me a few ideas for added functions. I do still need some help in working bugs out of the AI I am trying to develop for it in a 'free roam' setting.

[Scratching his chin in thought.]

Dunno what I'd need from your gizmos that I can't get on my own or from someone else. Training dummy, maybe, but...

[He takes another gander at the projected mock-up.]

Those things don't look they can take a lotta hits. [They'd probably bump into a wall and sustain a major fender bender. That, and about 4/5 of them don't even have proper appendages useful in a fight. And the one that does has claws, so...]

Query: intelligence?

(How advanced are these things, anyway? Are they fully sapient AI or regular nonsapient VI?)

[Missteps he calls them.]

Could you provide a visual of their construction? [You know, to further prove to everyone you're a good egg now.]

I'll pay 100 Dubloons for one of the flying ones.

(They want to take it apart. That's their entire motive. Unless it turns out to be fucking sentient. Then they'll have to look into ways of taking it apart without hurting it. And also swing a punch at Eggman.)

Edited 2025-03-08 03:56 (UTC)

[SIGH yes okay it kind of was, but it just sounds so FAKE when Eggman says literally all of everything. Sonic just doesn't trust it, but it could just be a bias because of their history? Maybe Eggman is trying to be serious about this. Big maybe, but nothing's impossible, right?

Radnik is a fucking terrible name though. Nobody can change Sonic's mind about that!]

Can you blame me for being surprised that you'd play along? I assume you'd be willing to let someone make sure you haven't secretly built guns and junk into them, then?

How durable are these ... constructs?

It sounds like you and I are of a like mind, Turo. I like to consider this...market research.

[Because that's not terrifying at all. Also, being of like mind with Eggman is not a good look, Turo.]

Another acquaintance? Scientist? Engineer?

...Magician?

[Because honestly, you never know.]

You're welcome to oversee the assembly process for each unit I personally sell, Hedgehog.

I have nothing to hide, after all.

[Not that Sonic would be able to see, anyway.]

Well, it's true these older designs weren't the most sturdy, perhaps I can offer you something else.

What exactly would you be 'training' for?

[Ah yes! His favorite sentient machine!]

Limited enough to allow comprehension of directions, naturally. Simple commands and the like.

Or were you perhaps looking for more of a kindred mechanical spirit?

Ohoho my dear Shadow. Your distrust wounds me.

Of course, I will happily comply. I will document the process completely and thoroughly for full transparency.

Oho! A buyer! Do you have a preference? Customization options? Do you have an intended use or is it because you find them so charming?

[It will have limited artificial intelligence but nothing inherently nefarious in its mechanics~]

That depends on what your intended task is. The flying ones are more lightweight but I have some armored bad&mdash er...Radnik designs I can still recall from my earlier years.

Ever since magitech had its big boom and advancement, certain things have been more popular than others. Of course, it is a reason I have leaned more towards creations that help make life a little easier.

[Like the shelter made of energy barriers-]

An engineer, we are working on a few projects together and that is when the little robot I have been working on came up in conversation. He brought up a few good ideas, such as a way to allow it to defend itself to escape any unexpected encounters.

Oh? You'll have to introduce me.

[Another engineer? This could be a problem. Best to find out their capacity and capability to be sure.]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

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