shellphones | Volunteering

Entry tags:

Volunteering

Type: Video
Sender ID: hellofishies (Arkady)
To: Everyone
Subject: Volunteering Volunteers?
Warnings: N/A

Hello! [ Arkady waves with a big smile ] I'm Arkady and I need help. I'd like to be able to help people more here but I need to know how much I can. Back home I can see the future sometimes when I try. But the people I would try with aren't here.

[ which is very hard for her so really she's just looking to find more people she can help look after. Anything to feel more useful than she currently does. ]

Would anyone be willing to let them look for them? It wouldn't hurt you! [ just her ]

I could also maybe help with other things. Lost memories or broken minds. It's wasn't my specialty but I know hurt. I just... [ she fidgets awkwardly with the sheer skirt she's wearing before saying quietly: ] want to do more than I did back home

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That seems kind of you.

[ If it's genuine, of course. He makes a point to look friendly, regardless. ]

When you say the future… do you mean to say the future here, or uh, where we're from?

[ He tries to seem less invested in this question than he is, lean more into curiosity and clarification than anything else. No one needs to know exactly how invested he is in finding out what’s going to happen back home.

Happened back home? Tenses seem tricky when it comes to all that. ]

An’ you said memories. Minds. What's that mean—I mean, what kind of help would that be?

[ Because he's known one person here who could read minds, and the whole thing made him more than a little nervous. But he doesn't want to assume anything. ]

Thank you! [ She seems happy someone's said that! But she does hesitate for a moment. ]

I'm not sure. I think that's why I'd like to try. Maybe I could see things here or maybe I could see things back home too. I guess it depends on how much of a future is written in you?

[ But she does really want to find out if either is possible. Or both. ]

Anything someone might need. Sometimes people lose track of things in their mind, I could help them find things. Or if things get broken, I might be able to help with that. My friend was really good at helping people get over really bad things that happened. I don't think I'd use her way though.

Suppose it would.

[ But something about that phrasing makes his expression flicker just a little. That's the question isn't it? If his future is written or if he has any freedom to write his own. ]

What was her way?

[ He has a lot of questions honestly, but he decides to start there.

There's also something tempting in the idea of fixing any of what feels broken. Or getting over any of the bad things that have happened. But unfortunately those things would probably involve letting anyone in on his secrets and he's not inclined to do that. ]

Is there something you want to know about your future here? Or is it back home?

[ She wants to know a lot about back home, but she's too scared to look here. Which makes her feel some sort of way. Spoiler: it makes her feel like a bad person. ]

Sirkka is a good person, she just really wanted to help people she felt responsible for. So, she took the bad memories away from them. [ Which did help, obviously. But there's clearly some ethical issues there. ]

I'll admit I'm curious about both.

[ Because how long is his future here? Long enough that he has room to breathe? To hope any of this lasts?

But he still keeps his tone carefully casual, shifting to rest his chin on a hand as he chats. ]

I'm not sure if I'd want anyone to do that.

[ The bad memories are part of him, and he's already given up so many parts of himself hasn't he? But then again, he wants to be someone new. Not that he says any of that either. ]

So do you—do you mean to say you'd see into people's memories?

Maybe I can help you then. To see one or the other.

[ She frowns a tiny bit and nods. ] I don't think I'd want to do that to anyone here. I've never liked doing it.

[ But there's been times where it's been necessary to keep their secrets back home. ]

Yes. I wouldn't look at everything though, only things they wanted me to and were okay with me looking at.

Perhaps.

[ We live our lives in the poisoned fields of perhaps. Is that better or worse than the alternative?

A little pause, as he looks uncertain what to say next. ]

I certainly mean you no disrespect, but to take someone at their word when they have that power at their command... that is a great deal of trust, wouldn't you say?

[ In other words: he's wary of telepaths. He knows a bit about keeping his thoughts to himself, but would that even work with all of them? He has no idea. ]

You don't have to if you're not comfortable. I'll understand really.

[ She nods and seems a great deal more serious. ]

I know. Trusting anyone is hard, especially someone that might see things you don't want them to. But I've seen what happens when our power is abused. I wouldn't want to be like that. [ again. ]

[ He decides this might be a good time to switch the replies over to private, for whatever exact reason. ]

I'm not—I'm just not sure if I am yet.

[ But it's not just about comfort. It's about the fact that now that he knows there might be a way to find out, his brain is going to gnaw and worry at it like a dog with a bone. ]

Is that... somethin' you want to talk about?

[ His tone is gentle, even if his reason for asking may well just be wanting to know more about the dangers. ]

That's okay, there's no rush. Trust takes time, doesn't it?

[ And it's easily fractured, she knows that too. She pauses for a moment and tries to seem less uncomfortable than she is at that question. ]

It's nothing too bad. Back home there were twelve of us with the same powers that I have. Two of them let it go to their head and they didn't do good things with it. I had to stop one of them.

[ A nod, because it certainly does. It takes time and it's easy to break. He's regretted trusting people. He's made people regret trusting him. He listens quietly to the rest. ]

That sounds... difficult. I'm sorry.

[ A part of him would like more details about what didn't do good things with it means, but he gets the feeling he shouldn't push it. ]

Don't be sorry. It was only right that I take care of it.

I'll take your word for that. Was there... a reason the twelve of you could do this? If you don't mind my askin' of course. I'm not sure anyone can do it where I'm from.

[ He can't rule it out, there are a lot of things in his world he doesn't begin to understand, but someone could read his mind was never an active concern before living here. ]

I don't mind any questions, it seems only fair. [ She pauses and then shakes her head. ]

No. A lot of people tried to figure it out, even the government, but nobody has yet. We were all born on the same day at the same time too.

Well that certainly sounds like some kind of portent.

[ For good or ill he has no idea. He's not quite sure where else to go with that particular line of questions. ]

So these futures you see... do they always come to pass?

I've tried to look a lot, but I've never been able to figure anything out.

[ Which has been eternally frustrating for her. In a lot of ways. But considering how things went, what they did to their world, she thinks it being a 'portent' may have been pretty true. probably a bad one. ]

No, that's why I like being able to see them. If I see them first then they can be changed.

I can imagine that would be comforting.

[ In some cases, at least. He's not sure it would help in the one he's most worried about.

Not unless there's a way to change the entire way the rifts work. But he supposes that was a goal either way, already. ]

It made me feel useful. And I was glad that I could stop a bad outcome for an old friend.

[ And everyone else. ] I like to think it helps to find pieces to a puzzle. What someone does with the pieces, if they find where they fit, that might be more up to them.

I suppose that makes sense.

[ Are they puzzle pieces or just foregone conclusions he's trying to avoid? He's not sure. So for now he'll ask something else that's bothering him. ]

So if—if you can see into people's minds, too, can you be certain you're not seeing... I don't know, possibilities they're already picturin'?

[ Because the problem is he's worried about a very specific possibility back home, and he's aware that could make him very easy to mess with. Not that someone whose actual intent was to do that would admit to it. ]

[ She looks a bit confused for just a moment and then shakes her head. ]

Oh, they're two different skills! I have to do different things to active each one.

That so? I'll admit it's hard to imagine how either would work, I suppose.

[ But that's certainly an interesting detail to know. He still looks thoughtful. ]

I could explain more if you'd like.

If you wouldn't mind, I'm... more than a little curious about all this.

[ To say the least. ]

Reading someone's mind means connecting directly with them, in their head. In their head you sometimes hear the things they're thinking at the surface but you have to actually push to hear the real thoughts. Or to see the broken bits, sometimes those really stand out.

[ She pauses for a beat ] When I look to try to see the future it's looking outside them. It's like swimming through a big darkness to find a specific landmark. I have to think about the person or the place and then sometimes it starts to come in more clear.

That's interesting.

[ It genuinely is, though it doesn't really fix the angle he's concerned about. That's probably just going to have to be a matter of trust at the end of the day. ]

Do you have to know them well, or... just know who they are?

Volunteering

video | un: BlossomingTide

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