Anonymous Text

[velocityraptor]

Type: Text
Sender ID: Anonymous (Hawks)
To: Public
Subject: General advice
Warnings: None intended, will update if necessary.




Have you ever had to reinvent yourself?

I mean, have to might be a bit much, but let's say you get a chance to, and maybe there's some things you want to leave behind, and anything that could've been stopping you before, isn't.

How would you do it?

It just seems like an awkward conversation to have.

Comments

also anonymous

[chatteblanche]

[ Yeah, okay. Lynette will bite. ]

i suppose the answer depends on if you're planning to totally reinvent yourself or just make some improvements to who you already are. one requires far more drastic action than the other.

[velocityraptor]

I don't think it's a total reinvention exactly, it's just something of a change. I'm not new or anything, I know a lot of people, that's what makes it awkward.

[chatteblanche]

that's probably easier. you won't have to go through all the effort of erasing your old identity or have to worry about what to do about the people who know you as you were.

[ Always easier to provide advice without having to suggest murder. People don't really like to be told to kill people. ]

are you worried about them not accepting who you aspire to be?

[velocityraptor]

[ Murder spree hardly seems like the right call. ]

That's a good question. I'm not sure. I have a feeling they would have a lot of questions, actually. Them not accepting it...I probably can't control that.

anonymous, fenris isn’t being public about his feelings he’s too cool for that

[magehater928]

Reinventing yourself is not a question or conversation.

It is killing whatever was invented for you. Being told what you are means you were not you to begin with.

[velocityraptor]

Maybe, but that image is what people want from me. Who I am hasn't mattered.

It's awkward because people would likely have questions.

[magehater928]

Are you content with being their leashed animal forever, then?

If you are you should heed them. Otherwise, your freedom depends on not needing to.

[velocityraptor]

Freedom was a low priority. Something I needed to handle at some point when a million other problems weren't ongoing. I don't want to give the impression I'm ungrateful, exactly. They died unexpectedly.

Freedom is a funny thing. I don't know what to do with it.

emet-sulk; text

[emet_sulk]

What is there to feel awkward about? Embarrassment over past misdeeds? Actions you regret? If you're determined to leave all that behind then leave, as well, the judgement of those who only knew you before.

[velocityraptor]

Of course not. I mean I have regrets, I don't go spreading those around that's not at issue.

I think it would lead to questions that might be uncomfortable to answer.

[emet_sulk]

I do not know what regrets you have nor will I ask since you've taken the trouble to hide your name, but I would be surprised if anything you've done eclipses my own deeds.

When I woke up in the sea here, having finally been laid to rest back in my world, it took me several moons to decide on a new course for myself. I do not regret any of the actions I took. I will not apologise for them either because I made those choices after weighing all possible actions at the time.

So should someone question me about that time and lay those sins at my feet, I will shrug and say, "And I would do it again if the same circumstances presented themselves. But I am not that man now."

[velocityraptor]

I appreciate that, everyone has a past.

It's less that it's something I've done and more like I was trapped in a situation that I'm technically no longer trapped in. I only mentioned it to one person who is still here and one who is gone, so people don't know that. I doubt it's something anyone wants to hear about, but they'd likely have questions.

I've been thinking about it because I don't know if it's worth it.

text;

[phoenixdominant]

In a manner of speaking, I have done the same myself... though not by choice, and not without hardship.

I believe everyone deserves the chance to reinvent themselves, should they wish it. To grow and change is simply part of being human. Is that not true?

[velocityraptor]

I don't know about that. If I had rolled with it originally, maybe, but I've been here awhile. It would likely lead to questions, which makes it kind of awkward.

Text; un: Pers

[scooba]

A little bit.

Although, sometimes, it wasn't for the better.

[velocityraptor]

Did it make everything worse?

I'm not sure changing things would be worth it if it's going to cause a fuss.

[scooba]

Yes, it did.

But I know the second time around, it got better. However, it took a long time for it to happen.

Un: Tarttyrant

[tarttyrant]

An awkward conversation for who? Yourself or someone you owe amends to?

If it is the latter, then your own discomfort and awkwardness is negligible
Amends are to be made to who has been wronged.

If it is with yourself

I've been told it isn't something that really happens overnight.

Nor should you want it to be, I think.

[velocityraptor]

I haven't wronged anyone here as far as I know.

I'm concerned they're going to think I'm trying to deceive them, but I'm not and I don't know if it would make any sense out of context, which would mean I'd have to answer questions and I don't know how I feel about that.

No one would probably be half as uncomfortable as I would be, which is kind of the point. Torn between discomfort and something I might want.

[tarttyrant]

I think I see.
Your concern lies with wondering if you can become someone new, now that you are no longer back in your own world?

Well.
If it is something you want then it is something you work towards
Simple as that.

Though I don't know if you should need to go to such lengths?
There was a student at my school who heralded from another realm.

Though they wound up in ours by mistake, they have never bothered to present themselves as anything more than they already were.
Even when it was ill-advised. And something worthy of mockery.
They adapted. They learned our ways. But they never changed.

If anything, I daresay that they ended up becoming the one invoking change in us.

So first, I think I'd ask yourself, who such a reinvention really is for?

also anon

[withermarked]

I've reinvented myself a few times, if I'm honest.

Being here has let me do it again, and I'm grateful for the opportunity.

I don't know what you're considering exactly, but I will say sometimes conversations turn out to be easier than you expect, even the scary ones. If you have people who care for you here, I suspect they'd listen to whatever it is you need to say.

[ He doesn't suspect who posted this, it's just a topic that gets his attention. ]

[velocityraptor]

I've never done it, once everything was decided, that's it.

I don't know if they would or not. I don't want to bother them exactly either. Wouldn't it just be awkward at this point?

[withermarked]

I don't know that it's wrong to bother them, if it's to let you be yourself.

I don't know what kind of thing you're thinking of changing, if it's similar at all or not, but...

The first time I reinvented myself, it was awkward, yes. At first.

I changed my name, how I looked, what I wanted people to refer to me as. And it wasn't easy all the time. I had to remind people. Some of them had annoying questions, some of them weren't very nice about it. Sometimes I felt like I was just setting myself up for new standards I had to meet.

But I wouldn't change it for the world. I felt so much better as me, not the person people thought I'd be or planned for me to be or wanted me to be. And these days no one questions it at all. They just see me for myself.

I think everyone should get to have that for themselves. It's worth it.

text | anonymous

[astudyinviolet]

I didn't have a choice. Everything I knew had been built on lies. I lost a part of myself and wasn't sure who I was or wanted to be, who I could be. I took it one day at a time.

Spite also helped.

[velocityraptor]

Things aren't lies exactly, although there are a lot of them. I've tried to keep as much of myself in this as possible, but it's been difficult because that's not good enough. Who I was...maybe who I am, isn't good enough.

I wish I was spiteful, but mostly I'm just tired.