shellphones | (no subject)

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(no subject)

Type: Text
Sender ID: anonymous (Astarion)
To: General Public
Subject: The Rifts
Warnings: None

What is even the point of becoming close to anyone here, if they can all just leave as quickly as they came?

Oh, sure, let's all play our little games and finish our silly little quests and feel this sense of camaraderie working towards a goal we all damn well know is unaccomplishable. And along the way, we can learn the magic of friendship only to have it taken away by the Rifts without any further explanation.

It would be nicer to believe we were being held to the whims of some vengeful god instead of the unfeeling randomness of the Rifts and their "unknowable" magic.

Then, at least, there would be someone to curse for the cruelty of it.

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Can protecting yourself in this way truly be considered living? Simply existing for the sake of it instead of seeking something more?

I'll not judge you if that is the case. There was a time where I had lived in that way for a considerable amount of time. Though no longer.

I haven't been living in a long time.

[ It's true both in the way G'raha means, and also because he's a vampire! He loves puns. ]

Aren't you afraid of what might happen, if you have to go back to how you were? It seems so much harder, once you know what you'd be missing.

"If I have to" implies that it is not something I have a say in. Fortunate for me that I do. That is what it is, a choice whether to allow these painful memories to rule me or if I hold them fast to my heart and treasure the moments for what they were. 'Tis those memories which give me strength in the darkest of times, where hope might have been lost otherwise.

[ He does want to ask about that choice in wording. But this one chose to remain anon. G'raha will respect this and not press. ]

Half of me yearns for a place I can no longer reach, understand. It is impossible, at the current moment, to cross the rift to reach the people there. Even more impossible to meet the ones that have made it possible to save our star. I miss them. Terribly so. Yet they would not want for me to shut myself away once more. So for them, I will not.

Well, if nothing else, this proves you can go home. You'll see them again.

No, I cannot. The rift that I speak of is not the one we crossed to arrive here. It's one between my star and its many reflections.

Home I may yet return to, but not to where the people I speak of are.

I see. You've experienced this before.

Yes... As well as orchestrated it.

Why would you do that?

There were of reasons for drastic and desperate actions such as that, though I suppose I shall keep them to myself for the time being.

Suffice to say, it is no longer a feat I can perform.

Did you seriously just allude to your deep, dark backstory just to decide not to say anything about it?

I certainly can't regale someone without a face nor a name with tales of my torrid past now can I?

Well you could, you had started to.

Ah, but you are the one that doesn't wish to make any sort of connections any longer.

I shan't force it upon you. That would be downright unconscionable of me. Hardly considerate of you and your needs.

Well, good. It's better that I don't know, anyway, as you said.

[ He doesnt need friends!!! he's totally fine! ]

Of course, of course.

Though if you ever change your mind, I suppose you might now know how to reach me.

I cannot imagine a scenario where that would be the case but, yes, I suppose I do.

I will give you something before parting, at least. Something to consider:

If what brought us here was an object imbued with magicks, then it was by design. Therefore there must be a creator that is responsible, whether knowingly or not.

It stands to reason, then, that there is someone to blame.

Edited 2023-09-30 04:05 (UTC)

Even if there was, I'll never see this person again. I've no desire to see him brought back again away from where he's happy. Finding whoever, or whatever, is responsible for this only gives us a way to get home ultimately. That's a good goal to work towards, but it doesn't change this particular issue.

Now that is terribly kind of you, don't you think? Thinking of someone else and their desires in such a way.

Personally, I wish for just the opposite. I believe one of my companions would do well to be brought here. He deserves a break, as it were.

Perhaps so. But it only makes it that much more frustrating for me.

Everyone's circumstance is different. Part of me would be content not to go back, either. But I have unfinished business to take care of.

I believe many find themselves in a similar position: they wouldn't mind being here if not for "unfinished business" that can't be left as is.

[ G'raha still has an investigation to complete... And help the Students get back on their feet. Other than that. ]

A question, if I may?

That depends on the question. But you can ask.

I do not wish to get personal if that is something you wish to avoid. Yet I find myself curious as to the star you come from. What would make this one preferable to the one that you know.

It isn't about my world. It's about my circumstance. To put it simply, my will is bound to another's. As long as I am here, I am free from his influence.

It does rather take away the option to drive a dagger through his heart, though.

Apologies, though I do sympathize. To a lesser degree, of course. Thus I can see the appeal of lingering here rather than, ah. Handling matters yourself.

(no subject)

subigito - 2023-10-14 21:01 (UTC) - Expand

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