text; an important survey

[indispensable]

Type: Text
Sender ID: indispensable (Alhaitham)
To: Public. So, so public.
Subject: A Survey on Romantic Relationships
Warnings: Potential discussions about sex? I guess?? But mostly this is just Alhaitham being the most obliviously shameless man alive.

This is Alhaitham.

I have a survey that I would like people to fill. There are no restrictions or stipulations to the nature of the responder. The only request is for you to be honest when filling it up.

1) Are you currently in a romantic relationship or have been in one? (yes/no)
2) If yes, does your current or previous relationship involve sex? (yes/no)
3) List down 5 to 10 words that describe what your significant other (past or present) makes you feel.
4) What is your main priority when you are with your significant other (past or present)?
5) How do you measure or recognize your feelings as love? What separates them infatuation or sexual attraction? Describe in 100 words or less.

You are free to leave your answers in this post or direct them to my inbox. I will be following up on whatever answers I feel are necessary.

Thank you for your time.

[OOC: ICly, this network post comes up about five minutes after the one Kaveh makes.]

Comments

[netherese]

[Right. Data. He, perhaps, should have thought ahead on this one, given how difficult it is to talk about such things openly, but he'd been blinded by the opportunity to poke fun at a peer.]

I suppose that's only fair, yes. Admittedly, what's to come may be rather grim.

3. The answer to this tends to vary from day-to-day. Then: exalted, adored. Now? Hurt. Dismissed. Used.
4. In the past, my priority was to serve their every need. I believe that if I were to be so fortunate to have another chance in the future, it my priorities might be different. Still to be generous of self, but as an equal partner, not a servant.
5. Love is different from infatuation or attraction in that it is able to weather compromise. When even on your darkest days, your feelings do not wane, and you are willing to consider their needs before your own ambitions. Love means desiring someone all the more because of their imperfections, not in spite of them, and embracing who they are rather than who you would have them be.

Is that satisfactory?

[indispensable]

It is. Thank you for your answers.

[A pause though, since number three and four is... hm.]

What is the difference? To be in and out of love with somebody. You are free to refrain from answering if you do not wish to.

[netherese]

[There's a long pause before he responds.]

The difference feels quite negligible, at times, which is alarming when one considers how sharp the contrast is otherwise.

Do you mean what makes the difference to cause such a change? I suppose it's unique to each relationship.

[indispensable]

[Give him some time here Gale he is. Having a bit of trouble with describing this.]

Being in love and being out of it. People have always stated there is a difference in the feeling. I want to know how people can tell the differences between the two.

[Because what he feels for Kaveh hasn't every really changed, when broken all the way down to the very core of it.]

[netherese]

Strong feelings of any sort can blur together, at times, and it can be the circumstances that mark them. Though hurt by the actions of my former partner and no longer in a position to make romantic overtures, shall we say, the feelings I have for her have not necessarily changed.

I apologize. This is difficult to answer in a broad sense. No two relationships are ever quite comparable.

[indispensable]

It is fine. I appreciate the attempt, regardless, and what you have said is not without merit.

Thank you.

[netherese]

Glad to be of some assistance, at least.

As a fellow scholar, I recognize that you may well be more comfortable when things can be defined by logic or empirical fact. Unfortunately, matters of the heart tend to be a bit too subjective for such methods.

[indispensable]

I am aware of that. It is part of the reason why I am conducting this survey.

[Perhaps it is unwise to try and find some order to the illogicality that is emotions and feelings and affairs of the heart, but it certainly is no reason for Alhaitham to not try it.]

[netherese]

I do hope it helps you to find what you're looking for. Surely hearing from so many with such a wide breadth of experiences will turn up something of interest.

[Some may consider it unwise, but Gale supports the effort, even if it is challenging.]

[indispensable]

Many of the answers have been enlightening, in different ways. I will have to see if there are any more insights I can glean later.

[And even if nothing really catches his attention there's nothing wrong with having more data to work with and draw from.]

[netherese]

I would be interested in hearing your findings later on, should you feel like sharing. For now, I wish you the very best of luck in this endeavor.

[indispensable]

I do not mind sharing. [He already said he would with somebody else, after all.] And your well wishes are noted.

[Not that Alhaitham thinks he'll need it, since he is already aware of Kaveh's feelings here, but he doesn't have a reason to really turn it down.]