001 🔥 TEXT - WANTED: PLUSH TOY MAKER

[headhunt]

Type: Text
Sender ID: headhunt (Karlach)
To: Public
Subject: WANTED: PLUSH TOY MAKER
Warnings: N/A

Hey-
Can any of you make plush toys? I can bring you the materials.

Can work out payment too.

Like this:

( attached to the message is "artwork" of a teddy bear plush (or at least her best attempt at it), drawn by the hands of the very barbarian who once to used terrorise the hells. )

Let me know! Thanks!

Comments

[headhunt]

( what a complete lunatic.

karlach grins before letting out a loud laugh. )

I can't believe you want to do this twice.

( while having her gloves on now made her safe to touch, it didn't erase the fact that she had just scorched the fuck out of his skin moments ago. yet here darin is, ready with his hand extended.

she lets her own hands fall away from his shoulders, taking a step back, before grabbing the offered hand with equal enthusiasm. )

You're a real freak, you know? But I'm glad we met. Glad to be friends.

( because of course. he'd already made it clear that he's a friend.

using their joined hands, she uses it to tug him forward slightly as she leans down to leer. )

So, what's next? You wanna draw me? Fondle my chest a little?

1/??? LOL HOLY SHIT

[forgeabettertomorrow]

['Glad to be friends.']

[He's still not used to that idea. Of having friends. Never in all of his life would he think he'd make friends with someone with similar ties to fiends as him but he might even be able to save her life with his skills! It's like a dream come true!]

[He's so thrilled that Karlach's question doesn't register right away.]

Yeah, actually if I can sketch the engine so I have a better idea of—

2/???

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[Wait.]

3/???

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[Did she just—]

4/???

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[Naturally since the offer was made he very stupidly just looks at her chest because he hasn't processed exactly what she just asked him.]

5/???

[forgeabettertomorrow]

6/???

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[Give him a second.]

7/???

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[Okay the question's finally made contact with the brain cell aaaaaannnnd...]

8/???

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[He flushes SCARLET]

9/???

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[He tries to jump back but his hand is clasped with Karlach's so sorry Karlach you're both getting yanked across the forge against the far wall with an insane amount of panic strength.]

10/10 DONE

[forgeabettertomorrow]

D-DO I WANT TO—

WHAT?! NO!!! I DON'T—

THAT'S NOT EVEN NECESSARY IS IT?!

[The poor guy is bright red.]

[headhunt]

( karlach gets tugged forward a quick few inches before her hand releases, letting go of the panicked blue rocket that bounds off away from her. she couldn't have held on even if she wanted to, her strength suddenly lax as she starts howling with laughter.

she almost thinks that her knees might buckle underneath her. )

Hahahahahaha!! Hahahaha! Darin—

( snort, wheeze, cackle. )

Are you . . . ( hahaha! laugh, wheeze. ) Are you frightened of tits? Hahahaha!

[forgeabettertomorrow]

WHAT?! NO!! I AM NOT SCARED OF—

I HAPPEN TO LIKE THEM VERY MUCH BUT I'M TRYING TO TAKE YOUR LIFE SERIOUSLY!

[Darin is far more insulted that Karlach would insinuate that he's scared of tits than anything else. Only ghosts scare him. Ghosts and being open and honest about himself with others! But not tits!]

[headhunt]

( a gasping, wheezing noise as karlach tries to catch her breath enough to answer. )

And what's. . . what's not—hahaha!!—serious about my great set of tits?!

( the next thing she was going to say was something of explanation, but she can't get the words out.

she lets out another laugh, pressing the side of her hand against her eyebrows in a vain attempt to regain her composure. )

You don't wanna see? Hahaha!

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[Gods above now Darin's just ranting and raving because he's so flustered but also his pride???]

I DIDN'T SAY THAT! [Look, he does! But he's never been propositioned before!]

And I'm glad you take them seriously! They deserve to be taken very seriously! EVERYONE SHOULD BE SERIOUS ABOUT THEM!!

[He's lost the plot completely.]

You're clearly just screwing with me anyway?! So can we get back on task?!

[headhunt]

( it takes a few moments for karlach to get all of the hyena-like laughter out of system. gods above and below, she couldn't remember the last time she has laughed this hard. )

Friend—

( she starts, vaguely waving a hand. )

I'm not. My heart's underneath my fantastic tit-tays.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

I'm aware of where your heart is! I didn't take this job to scope them out!

[Darin drags a hand down his face, clearly flustered.]

Seriously! How the hell would you like it if I asked if you wanted to see how big my hammer was?!

[headhunt]

( WRONG AUDIENCE, DARIN.

her face perks up even further, if such a thing were possible. it almost seemed as if her pointy ears were even more alert. )

Yeah? How big is your hammer?

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[DARIN IS BAD AT THIS.]

[He thrusts a defiant finger Karlach's way. He's not embarrassed, just incredibly stupid. Why back track when you can double down?]

BIG ENOUGH!!

[headhunt]

Are we talking bigger or smaller than average?

( she makes an obscene hand gesture. )

[forgeabettertomorrow]

...I have no idea I don't exactly go around asking every guy I meet to whip it out to compare?

[Karlach has successfully derailed his train of thought because Darin literally has no idea how he measures up. He's never cared.]

I mean...I think I'm...proportionate??

[headhunt]

( she snorts, amused in more ways than one. she had been expecting a bigger reaction.

but mostly karlach is reminded darin didn't grow up around a lot of others. )

Could still show me.

( a wink. )

It's all about how you use it anyway.

( as if that's a reasonable way to conclude the topic. )

But we're talking about my engine right now, yeah? So whaddya need next?

[forgeabettertomorrow]

I mean, I don't really care if you wanna see.

[Darin considers her question about the engine, though.]

Well...I guess my first question would be how to get to it. I can't just...open your chest up...

...Wait, can I?

[headhunt]

'kay. Show me later.

( casually. put a pin in that for a different time.

then karlach makes a pinching gesture with her talons. )

A little.

( with careful movements, she starts unbuttoning her shirt the rest of the way. pulling it off, she drapes the shirt over the back of the nearby chair where it'll stay out of the way. with only on her dark leather brassiere on, the glow of the engine is all too apparent. it shines bright underneath her ribs, her torso, and lights up the skin around her navel.

hot, pulsating, alight with the hellish flames of avernus. )

Here.

( she says, tapping her talons against a long, thin metal vent that had been grafted onto her skin just above her right breast.

then with two fingers, she opens the vent up. it's not a very large opening, only big enough for a single hand to reach in, but it is enough to give the blacksmith a view of the intimating piece of machinery wedged inside of her.

with the vent forcefully opened like this, the rush of heat from between the metal plates is enough to start warming the entire shop. )

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[Darin nods. Because that won't come up later. Clearly they're gonna move past it and forget all about it.]

[Darin politely averts his gaze as Karlach strips off her top, only looking her way when she gestures to the vent above her breast. Darin steps forward as she opens the vent and his eyes go wide. The heat is incredible. If he hadn't spent a lifetime in the forge, it might damn well be unbearable.]

[He stares at the infernal machinery with a combination of interest and rising anger. Who the hell would do this to someone??]

...You must be in pain constantly...

[Darin hurriedly pulls out his notebook and begins to make a quick sketch, taking care to note every valve, every connection, every chamber. If anyone even had a chance of working on this thing, he'd have to employ some sort of magitech just to control the temperature.]

...Gods...I've never seen anything like this before. I can't decide if I'm more fascinated or pissed...