Video | Crab People

[clarinetnpoetry]

Type: Video
Sender ID: Lacrimosa (Wirt)
To: EVERYONE ALL OF YOU HELP
Subject: Wirt has discovered an island of plotting crab people
Warnings: idk crab people


[A mass video is sent out over the Shellwork. Featuring Wirt looking both confused, scared, and bound very loosely in rope. Loose enough that he could slip an arm out and hold his shellphone in front of himself. Behind him is large group of... crabs?

Except they're moving like people.

And they're chanting.]

CRAAABBB PEEEOOOPPPLLLLEE CRAAAAAABBBB PEEEEOOOOPPPLLLEEE

[But yeah, they still look like crabs. And there's a lot of them.]

Hey, so... um, I-I kinda need some help.

[His voice is a low whisper as he records and desperately pinging his current location. Some stretch of apparent, empty sea.]

Comments

video; un:catsgothistongue

[catsgothistongue]

[See people. This is why you let them eat the crabs. Give Ranma a moment to process what he's witnessing on his phone.

Okay, two seconds are up.]

You don't say.

[The ceremonial chanting in the back sort of spoke for Wirt more than the fact the gnome's a little tied up at the moment.]

Are the crabs seriously still pissed off about people wantin' to eat them? Can't they just let it go already?

[Ranma please]

[clarinetnpoetry]

[This might be a case of why you don't go anywhere near the crabs!?

Okay, but yeah. There's chanting behind him, flickering lights and apparent dancing? It's hard to say because crabs always look like they're dancing to a rave anyway.]

Wait? What? You guys tried to eat them?

[Those things? The crab people? The crabs that look like people but taste like crab? Wirt looks a little... weirded out.

You know what? No, never mind that.]

Look, I was just minding my own business on some small fishing ship and got knocked overboard. Next thing I know, I'm on some tiny island somewhere. With these... things.

[ CRAAABBB PEEEEOPPPLLLE CRAAAABBBB PEEEEOOOOPPPLLLEE LOOK LIKE CRAB... TALK LIKE PEOPLE ]

[catsgothistongue]

... I've only joked about eating them? Jury's out for the others.

[Wirt's predicament cannot be blamed on him! Or, hopefully, none of them and these are just crab people who don't know about their crimes against crab kind and are just regular evil crab people. That's fine.]

Alright, I'm on my way. [Martial artists code dictate they help the weak and hapless. Two things, from Ranma's perspective of Wirt, fit him to a letter.] Just gotta go to the island with flashing lights and chants. Hopefully ain't that far a swim.

[Swim-- Ranma wait a moment to think about-- aaaaaaaaaaand he's offline.]

[clarinetnpoetry]

Okay... well, I mean, they're not really crabs. Or they are crabs but they're--

[No, hang on. Swim?]

And this isn't really swimming distance... and they're offline. Great. Okay, Wirt, looks like you might have to deal with this on your own.

Again.

[Breath in, breath out. Just becareful otherwise your bindings will actually slip off. No need to tip these... Craplbpersons off that their knotwork is lacking.]

Okay... okay... I got this.

(1/2)

[catsgothistongue]

[Already at the edge of the water, Ranma was doing a few warm-up stretches. Just another day of being awesome and saving lives. Does he know where Wirt's pinpoint is? No. Has he actually tried swimming off the leviathan? Nope. But as the old adage goes, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. He's swam to China before. How far could this place's islands go. Look out Wirt, he'll be there in roughly thirty minutes!]

(2/2)

[treebornekettlegirl]

[... Five minutes later, there's a piece of drift wood floating in the water.

Person-shaped drift wood.

Red-headed drift wood, floating facedown lazily in the unforgiving waters. Wirt isn't in desperate need of assistance, correct? Cause his help is... a tad dead in the water.]

[pinksidekicking]

[ Nimona likes to swim around in her different forms, sometimes a shark or whale, other times as something smaller. That's how she spots the redhead floating in the sea like some piece of seaweed. There's no sign of movement and well... of course Nimona is going to help.

She's just going to also be a gremlin while she's at it. Which is why her upper half of her body takes on the appearance of a fairly attractive male. The lower half is more fish-like, but whatever Ranma sees in her half-daze will be fine.

Grabbing hold of the redhead, he flips her over so that more water doesn't fill her lungs, and after checking that the teen girl is breathing, begins swimming to the nearest shore. The entire trip to the beach, he sings a song.

A still-alive Ranma will be left on the sand, with no sign of her rescuer anywhere. Enjoy the strange save, Ranma. ]

[clarinetnpoetry]

[Thus ends the strange adventures of Ranma.

Rest in Pickles.

Anyway, hi, hello, Ranma. Wirt is kind of just kind of... hanging out right now. Still thinking and deliberating. Listening to the whole spiel of how the Crab people once pulled the beaches with a mighty clawed... er, claw. And whole a bunch of other, backstory stuff that he's sure is important! But can't really be bothered to pay attention to.

Kind of like spamming the space bar during a cutscene in a certain game that lacks a skip button.

Anyway, he's really thinking of slipping out right now.]

So, crafty surface-dweller! Do you now understand how all your hidden plans are folly?

[A series of raucous clicking, claws follows. Echoing around Wirt, who looked more bored than anything at this point.]

Oh, um... y-yeah, sure. I guess....