Video | Parents Suck~

[nutsornothing]

Type: Video
Sender ID: nutsornothing
To: Public
Subject: Why do parents suck so much?
Warnings: Mentions of death.

I'm back. Did ya miss me?
 

[Standing upon the water's edge of Eltrut's beach, Denji can be found skipping rocks into the depths of the ocean proper. His focus on the crashing waves with his bare feet absorbed by the rushing waters, a stoic expression washed over his features as he sighs solemnly.]
 

So who else had shitty parents growing up, huh?
 

[A small pause before tossing another rock into the sea, plopping himself down onto the ground before turning his full attention towards the feed.]
 

I don't remember much about my mom she died when I was real young from a heart condition but at least she wasn't around to see how big of a prick my dad turned out to be. He was a real piece of crap all my life until he crooked and left me with his problems too. 
 

[Denji wasn't about to tell the masses what actually happened to his father after finding out none too recently but that was besides the point here. A half amused burst of laughter erupts as he tries to lighten the mood a bit grinning fiendishly.]
 

I can't be the only one around here with an asshole for a parent so what's all your stories?

Comments

[nutsornothing]

[He's still super pumped over that prospect as the boy raises his hands high to the sky with closed fists laughing hysterically nodding eagerly.]

Hell yeah!! I can't wait to watch movies on that thing you'll get to test it out first obviously I hope you like kung fu movies!

[Whirling closed fists through the air followed up by a high kick ushering out a loud hiya!]

I'll do my best but no promises seems like everyone wants a piece of me lately.

[emet_sulk]

What do you mean by that? You're being targeted?

And what is 'kung fu'?

[nutsornothing]

Oh uh, kinda? I guess? Just been getting into some deep shit lately that might have some creeps coming after me if they find out it was me...

[A wave of his hand given in dismissal as the boy grins confidently.]

But it's all good! Nothing I can't handle they're all just a bunch of weaklings!

[A brief pause before taking the crane pose in a show of strength.]

It's a kick ass fighting style that is popular in movies back where I am from where the hero beats the crap outta the bad guys and saves the day! Kinda like me...Except with chainsaws!

[emet_sulk]

[ He tries to visualise a 'kick ass' fighting style combined with chainsaws. Horrifying. Like Grynewaht but worse. ]

Something akin to a monk, then. I see. Does the movie you gave me feature one with chainsaws then?

[nutsornothing]

Uh- Monks are usually pretty peaceful my dude, right? Like super religious and shit I don't think they would be throwing haymakers?!

[Shaking his head with a burst of chaotic laughter, Denji dawning a wide mouthed toothy grin in response to the chainsaw bit.]

Nah but that would be super badass!! If I could do kung fu in my hybrid form that would be fuckin' epic!!

[emet_sulk]

While the discipline has evolved over time, monks of the modern era are - or rather, traditionally were - adherents to a particular god known as Rhalgr. They would meditate and cultivate their bodies, honing their strength by opening 'chakras'. A monk of Rhalgr, with all their chakras opened, was a formiddable opponent to meet.

So, yes, they could throw a haymaker and put you on the chirurgeon's table for a week if they so wished. I look forward to seeing how this kung fu compares.

[nutsornothing]

Uh...Who's this Rhalgar dude?! Is he some sorta super powered monk who can punch through walls and shit?! That be so sick!!

[Raising his fists to the sky excitedly Denji simply cannot wait to watch TV again.]

It's gonna be a blast I can't wait!

[emet_sulk]

Rhalgr is one of the twelve gods of Eorzea. And yes, I suppose he is a 'super powered monk who can punch through walls and shit'.

[ Sorry not sorry, Rhalgr. You chose that image! ]

[nutsornothing]

Damn that sounds super awesome!! So can you teach me how to do that too!?

[If Denji could do that while simultaneously pulling off his hybrid form he'd surely be an unstoppable force to be reckoned with. Not that he wasn't already but no one would be able to stand up to him after that!]

[emet_sulk]

I'm a mage, not a pugilist. I can teach you sword or stave but not the way of the fist.

Besides which, I suspect you may not have the patience or discipline to master monkhood.

[nutsornothing]

Pfft- Who needs swords when you have fricken chainsaws dude?! I kicked the last guys ass who tried to come at me with katanas no problem!

[Totally didn't get his arms chopped off in the process, nope, not at all! A tilt of his head is given with a scrunch of his nose in disapproval.]

Whatcha mean I've totally got lots of patience! I could sit in one place for like...two minutes or something?

[emet_sulk]

Two minutes is not patience.

But I suppose I must agree: a chainsaw is certainly effective and ripping open your opponents and tearing traditional weapons out of their hands. Not that this means much if, say, the nimble knife wielder can get inside your range and stab you.