[Maybe it's the lack of having a say in things, control over how and when these rifts do their thing. Maybe it's her trying to make sense of why any joy in her life always seems fleeting. Whatever it is, Jill begins slamming back more wine, to try wash the taste of self-loathing, only to have the alcohol fuel the flames as it takes effect.]

I've done a lot of things, Kaveh. Horrible, shameful, heinous things. Things I would not forgive anyone else for had the tables been turned. Perhaps this is what I deserve.

[She waves a hand in the air, indicating the barrenness of the apartment and by extension, her heart. Basically, nothing.]

I took so many people's happiness. How much of a fool I've been, thinking I had earned any of my own and for so long.