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[tilfrosset]

Type: Text
Sender ID: tilfrosset (Jill Warrick)
To: Public
Subject: Clive's Departure
Warnings: Possible mentioning spoilers for the end of FF16? Let me know if you want to avoid them.

Good evening, all. This is Jill Warrick.

While I do not enjoy announcing bad news, I am aware he had a fair number of acquaintances who should be notified that Clive Rosfield has left. It seems his last day here was yesterday, perhaps early this morning.

[If this all sounds cold and businesslike, it's on purpose. It's far easier to pretend that she hasn't been crying her eyes out all day through text than any other method of communication.]

With that said, though we did not have plans for a grand event, I must also announce that there will be no wedding. I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause.

[Inconvenience? Sounding like she's putting others out as if she's not the one who lost her other half. But of course, years of hardening her heart against emotional disruptions sure taught her how to fake it until she makes it. Or at least attempt to, badly. She's experienced loss before, but this? It's different.]

Comments

[empyrean_mirror]

Ah.

[Something twists on Kaveh's face--an expression of recognition. How awful--he hadn't wanted to to be able to empathize like this.

The expression passes quickly.]

...I can't say I know what it is you've done to be angry at yourself for. [He tries to keep his tone neutral--after all. He doesn't really know Jill, and she'd have every right to point that out, if he tells her right out she has no reason to hate herself.

To be clear, Kaveh doesn't think this situation is a reason she should, but he also knows too well it isn't so simple as it seems from the outside.]

[tilfrosset]

[Maybe it's the lack of having a say in things, control over how and when these rifts do their thing. Maybe it's her trying to make sense of why any joy in her life always seems fleeting. Whatever it is, Jill begins slamming back more wine, to try wash the taste of self-loathing, only to have the alcohol fuel the flames as it takes effect.]

I've done a lot of things, Kaveh. Horrible, shameful, heinous things. Things I would not forgive anyone else for had the tables been turned. Perhaps this is what I deserve.

[She waves a hand in the air, indicating the barrenness of the apartment and by extension, her heart. Basically, nothing.]

I took so many people's happiness. How much of a fool I've been, thinking I had earned any of my own and for so long.

[empyrean_mirror]

Do you deserve it any less than Benedikta?

[Because--well. He has a pretty good idea what she's done, and Kaveh guesses Jill probably wouldn't deny her that chance.]

Less than Cid? Less than Joshua, for the burden he carried? I'm afraid I don't know enough to understand what separates you from them.

[tilfrosset]

I have no knowledge of what Benedikta's history is like.

[Not quite true as far as what Clive has told her, but true enough that Jill doesn't think it's much of a lie.]

Those two... they have not committed the atrocities I've committed. I don't believe they have as much blood on their hands as I do.