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[tilfrosset]

Type: Text
Sender ID: tilfrosset (Jill Warrick)
To: Public
Subject: Clive's Departure
Warnings: Possible mentioning spoilers for the end of FF16? Let me know if you want to avoid them.

Good evening, all. This is Jill Warrick.

While I do not enjoy announcing bad news, I am aware he had a fair number of acquaintances who should be notified that Clive Rosfield has left. It seems his last day here was yesterday, perhaps early this morning.

[If this all sounds cold and businesslike, it's on purpose. It's far easier to pretend that she hasn't been crying her eyes out all day through text than any other method of communication.]

With that said, though we did not have plans for a grand event, I must also announce that there will be no wedding. I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause.

[Inconvenience? Sounding like she's putting others out as if she's not the one who lost her other half. But of course, years of hardening her heart against emotional disruptions sure taught her how to fake it until she makes it. Or at least attempt to, badly. She's experienced loss before, but this? It's different.]

Comments

[tilfrosset]

[Hours have passed and Jill feels no differently than she did earlier. Her heart hurts, so much so that she's certain she can physically feel how broken it is. Maybe it'll heal, maybe it won't. Time is needed and definitely more than a day.

But there's a knock at her door right now and for a long moment, Jill freezes in place, almost like a deer caught in the gaze of a predator. If she stands still long enough, will whoever it is go away thinking she's just not at home?

No. They continue knocking, harder even, as if they know she hasn't left the confines of her room all day. The person seems insistent and Jill seemingly won't get any peace until she lets them in. Who it is on the other side is unexpected and it takes a moment for Jill to swallow her surprise before greeting the woman with solely her name.]

Benedikta.

[garudas]

[With a bag in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other, her grip is preoccupied, or else she might have jammed a finger in the other woman's face. As it is, she allows Jill only a few seconds to get over her surprise before she's closing the distance between them, stepping right up to the threshold of the door so that they are nearly face to face. Though Benedikta's aura alone is enough to make her look like she is standing a foot above her, expression now hardened.]

Let me greet you by reminding you that should you so much as put another hair on Cidolfus's head out of place again, your man disappearing will be the least of your worries.

[A small gust of wind punctuates the threat, blowing past them and through the door...

...

Before Benedikta is bumping Jill aside with her hip and letting herself in. She will not humour her with any time to respond or rebuke it. She said what she needed to say, and Jill should know by now that she will follow through should it happen again, no matter who it is.]

Now. I've brought wine. Where are your glasses?

[tilfrosset]

[Had this been a different day, a different situation, Jill would have stood right back up and dared the woman to put action to her words. With things being the way that they are now, though, Jill slinks back instead, a physical manifestation of shame and guilt over her behavior last night. Losing Clive was as hard as one would expect, but never in her current days would Jill think she would have lost control over herself like that. But she did, putting a man she respected greatly in the most difficult and dangerous position he could be and there's no denying that. After all, the myriad of splinters that used to be her apartment's door serve to be a visual reminder.

So that threat? It's well-earned. Honestly, Jill believes she deserves a lot more than a verbal warning because had the tables been turned, she'd be just as menacing about Clive, if not more. That still doesn't stop Shiva's presence inside her from being agitated over another Dominant pulling rank, but thankfully, Jill's mental restraint is tight enough to disregard the ice queen's budding temper tantrum.

With a sigh of dejected acceptance, Jill does nothing but close the door behind Benedikta. She didn't expect any company and certainly doesn't want any now, but it seems nothing Jill wants matters right now. Arguing won't get her anywhere, so biting the bullet is what she does almost literally, jaw clenching tightly as Benedikta swans into her flat.]

In the cabinet.

[garudas]

[Were it not for Cid's interference, Benedikta might have done much more than a verbal warning. But no, he had reminded her that she had been in this same position before, and were she in Jill's shoes... The Roost would likely no longer exist, and Garuda would not waste a moment in breaking free again. She has been there before, nearly destroying the island once when lie after lie had piled upon her. She does not intend to let that happen again, not by Garuda's hand, or Shiva's.

And that is why she is here, sword not tucked into the sheath strapped to her belt.

She makes her way to the cabinet, though she does glance over her shoulder, noting the obvious surrender that's settled into Jill's whole self.

Lips press together, and rather than lead on to the cabinet, she shoves the bag into Jill's hands instead, giving her something to distract herself from what is clearly roiling around in her head. A beat of silence passes between them when she's not quite sure what to say, or how to make that look on Jill's face go away.]

Instead of gawking at me, why not do something with yourself and help set this up. There are breads and cheeses, and I've brought a shade of polish that I thought might look nice on your nails.

[Nope. Even after all this time, she is quite terrible at comforting people. But she does not think Jill wants her sympathy or pity, of all the things, right now. Or ever, for that matter.]

[tilfrosset]

[This situation seems too familiar, one of a Dominant simmering in the aftermath of losing control and causing havoc and mayhem, only for another one to reach out with a strange olive branch. It was once Jill on the other end, Benedikta the one being brought food and alcohol as a way to contemplate on how one moves on from this. Still, it has a strange and awkward feeling about that Jill doesn't quite know how to unravel.

She has surrendered indeed, physically and emotionally, out of shame and remorse. The drooping lines of her shoulders indicate as much and it's only when the bag is thrust at her that she blinks back to the current reality. Do something with herself? What can she do when all she wants to do is crawl into her bed to stew?

Go on auto-pilot. That's what she can do and does, pulling the items out of the bag and placing them on the table. The bread and cheese go on a plate with a knife that will probably go unused if Jill's lack of appetite has anything to say about it and the small bottle of polish is set down next to them. Everything finds a place, including Jill herself who sits in the nearest chair, seeming as she's waiting for Benedikta to tell her what to do next.

A silly notion, yes, but it seems far easier than thinking for herself, where her brain will take the first opportunity to remind Jill how everything feels useless nowadays.]

[garudas]

[Why does it bother her so much to see Jill this way? Seeing her drag her feet across the room to get a plate and set it all out on the table, only to sit and wait...? Not even a chilly comment to go along with it? Everything about it feels so very... wrong. She had been expecting something of a chiding response, only to be surprised and thrown off when it doesn't come. Once again, in the silence, she questions what it is that compelled her to come, besides the obvious threat that she needed to lay down.

She stares at Jill when she sits in the chair and... waits? For her? There's a click of her tongue and a shake of her head before she's bringing the glasses over, the bottle of wine uncorked in the other hand. She'll pour Jill's glass first and doesn't even bother to wait for her to tell her to stop. She just pours it all the way up to the top, and then does the same for her own. They are both going to need it, it seems.]

Drink up.

[As if she needs telling to do that, as Benedikta slumps into the chair across from her.]

You have been hiding in here since?

[Just going to get right to the point.]

[tilfrosset]

[Of course it feels wrong. It is wrong. Jill feels lost without someone who's become her other half in the last five years. And not knowing his ultimate fate? That turns everything upside down more than it already was. So what can she say? There seem to be no words that would make her feel any better, much less fix the situation.

Jill looks at the wine and grimaces slightly. She shouldn't drink, not after Kaveh filled her up with wine and the next day had her feeling ten times worse than she started. But something in her, perhaps Benedikta's mere presence and command, doesn't have her saying no. Instead, Jill pulls the glass neared to herself and takes a small sip.]

I haven't been hiding.

[A lie. She's ashamed of losing her composure with Cid for starters and she's not quite sure how to face him now without drowning the poor man in apologies that don't seem to be enough. That and she doesn't want to see the faces of others who miss Cid as much as she does. She'll be drawn to commiserate and comfort them when she can't even comfort herself.]

[garudas]

You have.

[If there is one person who will call it like it is, she can count on Benedikta.]

I would too, if I had been the one to attack Cidolfus.

[She eyes Jill over the rim of her glass, and takes a sip, all the while watching the other woman carefully.]

You ought to at least cut that out. The crew has been worried sick for you, and... [A pause.] While I understand the sentiment, you might want to think a little more deeply about that.

[Seeing Cid coming back with his shoulders heavy with disappointment had struck a nerve.]