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Type: Text
Sender ID: tilfrosset (Jill Warrick)
To: Public
Subject: Clive's Departure
Warnings: Possible mentioning spoilers for the end of FF16? Let me know if you want to avoid them.

Good evening, all. This is Jill Warrick.

While I do not enjoy announcing bad news, I am aware he had a fair number of acquaintances who should be notified that Clive Rosfield has left. It seems his last day here was yesterday, perhaps early this morning.

[If this all sounds cold and businesslike, it's on purpose. It's far easier to pretend that she hasn't been crying her eyes out all day through text than any other method of communication.]

With that said, though we did not have plans for a grand event, I must also announce that there will be no wedding. I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause.

[Inconvenience? Sounding like she's putting others out as if she's not the one who lost her other half. But of course, years of hardening her heart against emotional disruptions sure taught her how to fake it until she makes it. Or at least attempt to, badly. She's experienced loss before, but this? It's different.]

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[With her forehead pressing against the wood of the door now, her name in her ears makes Jill grimace. Is Cid going to tell her that it'll be okay? That Clive is a strong man who can handle himself and perhaps she should just keep the faith that he'll return to her? Maybe if the last time she saw him back in their world wasn't sending him off to battle Ultima with no knowledge of whether he made it back or not, Jill would probably find it easier to swallow.

And that what's killing her. It's one thing to always know he'll come back to her, it's another when she's so uncertain if he's even alive anymore.]

It's fine. [Jill practically spits the words out, as if they taste sour on her tongue.] It wouldn't be the first time.

[That she had to deal with her suffering alone. If the Ironblood taught her anything, it's that.]

[That is what makes it so insufferable, isn't it? That uncertainty, that weight and weariness of trying to remain hopeful, but how long can anyone really last?

His lips part as if to say something, but no words can come out. Not even a gentle scold to tell her not to put on this strong front. Would it mean anything from him? He doesn't know.

Instead he can only stare at that small back before he just steps forward and places a hand on her shoulder.

He doesn't say anything, doesn't do nothing more at first. But it's there, a small yet firm pressure, a slight little tug.]

[Hope can't last forever, not through rifts and barriers. Jill is a woman of convictions, but she is also human. How cruel would it be to expect her to wake up every morning and go out searching for Clive, only to return home alone again and again? Sooner or later, she'll have to accept that perhaps what they had was fleeting and so was her expectation of happiness. One day, maybe, Jill will have to tuck it away as nothing but a fond memory.

She isn't ready to do that yet. Her heart won't let her. Maybe it never will.

The silence between Jill and Cid is agonizing, palpably so. It weighs down the air in the room and she almost expects it to suffocate them both when there's sudden pressure on her shoulder pulling her back from the edge. It's enough to make her finally turn to look at him, though Jill's gaze remains just off to the side. She's just barely holding it together, Shiva's presence feeling like it's bubbling just under the surface of her skin. At this rate, no one knows what will break the chocobo's back.]

Congratulations.

[A bitter change of subject, awkwardly shoved in to take the attention off of her.]

[He visibly stiffens at that, as that wasn't what he had expected to hear at all, and it's like a lance of guilt that pierces through that for a moment he can only stand there stunned. In all this, he had forgotten that he formally proposed to Benedikta and that she had accepted...

...And that he had told Clive who of course told Jill. Although they had now formally engaged, the plan was to wait until after their wedding before going off on their own, but now...

...Now how could think of it when such dreams were dashed for the young woman in front of him?

And it does, if briefly, make him imagine himself and Benedikta. Of that nightmare that they fear deep that, that it's not Jill standing there, but him or her alone while the other gone without a trace—and slimmer chance to meet again.

He doesn't even realize he hasn't breathed until he finally does, a slow, deep exhale as his eyes can no longer stay on her and his own hand wavers on whether to remain or not. However, although he's momentarily shaken and the guilt remains, he won't be run off so easily. Not yet, anyway. Instead his expression will harden slightly, and that grip on her shoulder firms up so that he can pull her to him, his other arm going around her.

All while saying nothing in return.]

[At Cid's sudden change in posture, Jill feels a pang of regret. Does he think she spit it out as a manifestation of envy? That she said it to make him feel bad he gets to have what she can't? Will he suddenly lash out at her for rubbing it in his face as if the timing of everything is all his fault?

Jill half expects him to, even though she meant it in the best way possible. Hearing the news from Clive, she was truly happy for them. Cid deserved a bit of joy in his life, hard-fought as it was. If she can't have love, them maybe someone else can. After all, she's done so many heinous things in her past, perhaps it's coming back to bite her when she least expected it. Maybe she just plain doesn't deserve it.

And then he's pulling her in, embracing her. But it's too much too suddenly and Jill just wants anything but this. Anything but another reminder that someone won't let her drown in her own agony, that all she was wanted to be left alone to mourn the loss of the only thing good in her life in private.]

Stop...

[She's frantically pushing at his shoulders, then his chest, at any part of him within arm's reach. Jill feels that far too familiar feeling of Shiva becoming aware and quickly beyond her control. Her eyes wash over in a yellow hue and the room gets strangely chilly in an instant. There's no stopping something that's seemingly far overdue.]

[He can feel it, that sudden shift in the aether and then that chill, and now a new feeling of dread fills him as he looks at her with wide eyes.

Fuck.]

Jill, listen to me!

[Had he stepped too far? Or was just something that would inevitably happen? Given how her emotions must be, it might just be and perhaps it may be better that it's at him that it's all directed toward.]

I know you're hurting, but you can't let Shiva take over!

[Truly, it was a matter of time. Long has it been since Jill found herself lost in a sea of despair like this, not since that fateful night where Imreann wanted to make her his nightly attendant. It was years of denying the effects of her suffering, shoving it all down and letting it fester until it boiled over like an unwatched pot on the hearth.

She once thought finding her vengeance against that man would be the end of it all. That finally she exonerated herself of all the guilt and shame and became someone worthy of the kindness and love Clive showed her. Oh how wrong Jill seems to be. The rifts showed her otherwise, snatching away something that made her feel human again, something that made her feel like life was finally worth living, leaving her with nothing but another nasty reminder of how heinous she must be.

Cid's voice sounds too far away to do any good, like there's miles of distance between them inside of mere inches. She continues to push him away, jerking violently in his hold, skin beginning to ice over. The aether shifts again, this time sharply, as Jill screams her pain out for anyone to hear.]

—Bollocks!

[He didn't want to resort to this, but every passing second was bringing her closer to losing that control.

And they last thing they need was a goddess of ice erupting in Nogard.

There will be another surge and shift of aether, purple and blue sparks of lightning that zap and crackle around them. And with a frustrated yell he slams his fist against Jill's solar plexus, his body now illuminated in purple silver as he tries to knock her out before she gets any further.

But will it be enough?]

Edited 2025-02-02 10:31 (UTC)

[The last thing anyone needs is a goddess of ice erupting in Nogard in a very small apartment. No, this wouldn't be any better outdoors, but maybe then Jill would be in a place where she could get this rage out of her system safely. With them being where they are now, it means not only is the apartment at risk of damage, but so are her neighbors. The guilt of collateral damage is something Jill does not need added to her already laden plate.

But she's not nearly clear-headed enough to see the possibility of that, though. Through her anger and sadness and hopelessness, it's nothing but an emotional onslaught directed at anyone close enough to get caught up in it.

The hit knocks Jill back into the door with a shriek, splintering the wood with hundreds of small sharp shards of ice, but it's not enough to put Shiva down for good. It does nothing but seemingly piss off the Warden of Ice, who wants out after being denied her freedom for so long, causing Jill to rear up against Cid. Something she'd never do a day in her life if she had her senses about her, but who could blame her now?]

[He certainly could not, and as ice and lightning continue to clash, Cid just readies himself and grabs Jill's arm when she rushes at him, pulling her hard to send her flying to the ground.]

Control it, Jill!

[Another shout as he tries to pin her down or restrain her in some way, but he can already tell he may have to use his powers more than he wishes against her.]

[For as slight as Jill is, she can take a few hard hits thus as her body lands on the floor with a sickening thud, it doesn't seem to register much. Certainly Shiva trying her damnedest to make an appearance isn't helping with that. For all it's worth, Cid could have flung Jill clear across the room and it wouldn't have many any difference in quelling her frenzy.

She continues on without hearing his plea, slinging chunks of razor-sharp hail his way, haphazardly casting a coating of ice along whatever body part of Cid's she can reach. His arm, a leg, wrapped around his throat—it doesn't matter. This is not Jill, not the usual pleasant and genteel lady who thinks so much of others before she thinks of herself, the woman who thanked Cid for saving her life with no expectations for more. This is someone lashing out because they have no other outlet for their pain, no other means to find control in a situation that seems so unfair.

This is also Shiva on the edge of bursting through what little dominance Jill still holds over her. The Warden of Ice wants out, wants to take on Ramuh himself right here and right now, surroundings be damned. Something has to give or else Jill may end up doing something she will truly regret.]

[A swear under his breathe as he shields himself from the ice. When he hears things breaking, sees things could be valuable mementos of their lives in danger of being shattered, he knows he can no longer hold back and stop her before it's too late.

So he'll exchange her blows with his own, lightning firing around him to pierce through the ice and strike at her before he releases a bright flash that could fill the room. It's an attempt to blind her before rushing in to once again grab her and tackle her back.

This time he won't simply punch but release a devastating blast of lightning directly onto her body. Were this done to a normal person they would likely be killed on the spot. But for a Dominant? It may be just enough to at least knock her out of her current phase.]

[She's far too busying heaving as much ice towards Cid as possible to protect her eyes from the flash that blinds her. Jill screams, her voice hoarsely entangled with Shiva's, and throws an arm across her face to protect herself. A bit too late for that, plus it opens her torso up for Cid's next act, one Jill takes the full brunt off.

It's enough, though. Enough to knock Jill off her feet and along the wooden floor of her apartment, where she skids to a stop just before hitting the wall. Thank the gods for friction. Thank them also that she seems to have been shocked (literally and figuratively) into submission, where she's back to the non-glow of a Dominant in semi-prime, but looking rightfully roughed up. Her hair lies everywhere, her shirt and skirt are ripped and torn, and her cheeks are tear-streaked and ruddy.

But she's breathing. That's a good thing.]

[With a heaving breath he stares down at Jill with a complicated expression before his aether blinks and fizzles out around him as he shifts back. Instinctively his hand goes up to his mouth, but fortunately he didn't use enough of his aether to cause a coughing fit, so nothing comes. So instead he rubs his face briefly before he moves off of her, taking a moment to catch his breath.]

Oh, Jill... I'm so sorry.

[He'll slowly reach down and gently touch her cheek with the back of his hand before lightly brushing away those tear stains, and Torgal will slowly approach with a slow whine, nosing her. Acts that he feels are far too familiar, shared between Benedikta and Clive in a time that feels so long ago now. And of course he can't just leave her like this, so whether she's conscious or not he's already taking off his jacket to at least put over her first.]

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