shellphones | video

Entry tags:

video

Type: video
Sender ID: pinksidekicking (Nimona)
To: General
Subject: Distractions, Story Time
Warnings: Vague mention to the kidnappings

[ When Nimona appears on the shellphone, she's wearing a manta ray onesie and has an extremely big manta ray plush as her pillow. ]

I know some big terrible things are happening right now, but that's kinda the point of this. I just need a distraction, because I dunno if I'm gonna get much sleep anyway.

[ She'd rather be out there searching, breaking things... ]

Let's talk about our worlds. It can be about anything. Stories, legends, stuff that's happened to you personally, whatever. I'll start.

[ The shellphone is propped up. ]

My world is weird. We've got knights and a kingdom, but we've also got crazy levels of tech compared to this place. Flying vehicles, laser weapons, those sort of hologram screens. Don't ask me how any of it really works, I only know how to use it.

We've got royalty... though the queen was recently killed. Not sure who's gonna be in charge now. I don't pay that close of attention to what the humans do. And we've got our old stories too. Mostly about a monster and the woman who defeated it a thousand years ago and became a hero.

[ Nimona points at herself. ]

It's me, I'm the "monster". Not really a monster, though, just different from everyone else in my world.

Your turn, if you wanna talk to anyone.

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[Another honk of laughter.] He'll be flattered you remembered his name but then absolutely designate you his workplace rival for life. He's a theatre junkie, hope you're ready for that. [Stolas is kind of a special case all around, let's be real.]

[He wrinkles his snout, shaking his head.] Nah. Not an "asking for help" kinda guy, even when it's for shit on the top shelf. I'm perfectly fine at climbing and gettin' it m'self. [Luckily the cereal deviation has him laughing again before he can get too fussed about admitting to how fucking stubborn he is about asking for literally anything.] How big are we talking, here? I can put away a lot of food for being like, four feet tall.

[He considers that, mulling it over.] 's related to all the mass kidnappings lately? [Oops, plot mentioned.]

[~~Blitzø has, as self-proclaimed, an eye for potential, even if that potential is mostly somebody he sees enough of himself in to reach out.~~ He wrinkles his snout again.] Boring! Hell gets so overpopulated with Sinners they do a fuckin' extermination on the regular, which-- sick shit, actually, but. Can't imagine what it's like if they all went one place.

[ She lifts a finger. ] Gotta be nice to throw him off guard, then rub it in his face. More effective that way. I'll go to the theater with him, and I'll sit next to him, and I'll be so annoying that we get banned. [ Nimona is that much of a gremlin. And he is and the minute Nimona sees them together, she'll know it.

Hmmm! ] How will I know you need help with dragons then? Do we get a secret code? Hand signals? Drawings? Emojis? [ They can find a workaround for asking for help in a legitimate life or death kind of situation, at least.] Somewhere between softball and dodgeball sized? Depends on how big of a dragon I am at the time.

[ A half-frown. ] Yeah. Some of my family got taken. [ She just got that family!

~~It's honestly like looking in a mirror, and he missed her self-destructive moment here.~~ Extermination because of overpopulation. ] If they all went to the same place, all the Goodie-type people would have to interact with all the Sinner-type people. Just kinda sounds like more of the same of a regular life to me. When I died temporarily, I turned into pink sparkly dust and went nowhere until I mysteriously reappeared~

Unholy shit, you might just have him beat. [Please don't call him out on his astronomical amounts of simp for the bird, he's struggling with it as is.]

[He flinches, realizing what she's doing a bit too late to deflect it.] ...if I actually needed it, I'd ask. [Which-- isn't a lie. He's just absolute Hellhound shit at allowing himself help when it's not a very solid requirement that he can't really argue. He holds his hands at the rough sizes of a softball and a dodgeball, then blinks owlishly at Nimona.] Damn, you've got range.

Well-- that sure as fuck won't do.

[~~His are unfortunately constant on a smaller scale, but he's maybe getting better about it?? Maybe.~~] Mmn, maybe so. This is why I don't make the fuckin' rules down here, or anything close to it. You..., died temporarily?

I am the ultimate winner! [ She'll just give Looks. Knowing looks when she sees them in the same space together.

HMMMMM, don't deflect new dad. Nimona is trying to make it a little easier. ] You could send me a dragon emoji! 🐉 [ He could use it for just about anything, even things that aren't dragon-related. Nimona would just show up and be there. It's a tiny step beyond that very solid requirement. ] Normally I can be whatever size I want, but this world has rules and limits. Blech. So my dragon and phoenix are only like ten feet tall.

I know! I'm so mad that I wanna destroy stuff! But I'm saving it for the main event. [ Don't want to give away that she's probably trespassing into places she probably shouldn't.

~~Nimona's are huge and very dramatic, can't miss 'em. Literally.~~ ] Sometimes rules are meant to be broken anyway. Or at least very very bent.

[ It's story time! ] Oh yeah! So there was this crazy lady who hated me soooooo much. Blah blah, "Monsters must be destroyed", whatever, right? I guess to be fair, I did kind of rampaged through the kingdom a little. She aimed this laser cannon into the center the kingdom and intended to fire it at me even though I'd stopped rampaging. It would have killed a toooooon of people. I said "screw that" and turned into a phoenix and barrel straight into that cannon. [ Her hand sails through the sky and smacks into the other one before blowing up. ] BOOM! We both died in the explosion, except I got to come back to life a while later.

[He's so gross, actually. Like a fucking school kid, but in his thirties.]

[He frowns-- Nimona's like. Thousands of years old, and yet he's designated himself as The Adult, so it feels wrong to permit himself to utilize anything even slightly resembling the lonely dragon mention. His posture pulls kind of squiggly, like he's uncomfortable in his own skin, and he shrugs.] Dragon emoji's better than trying to make you decipher my texting. [A snort.] Only ten feet, she says. Stolas won't be shit to you in height, then, except if you turn him sideways he disappears. Skinny dude.

Good deal, save your energy. The more of it you store to beat ass the better the beating will be.

[He just grunts, because yeah, doesn't he fuckin' know it.]

[He processes that and whistles, softly.] Full-on "rise like a Phoenix" bit, aren't'cha.

[ Nimona will watch them around each other and find out what their deal is. This is going to be her.

She is a child in heart and soul, having had no parental figures at all "growing up". That's the kind of thing she soaks up, getting parental affection of all sorts. Really, she's trying to not let this get too heavy. ] I suck at reading so that works out! [ They are really two peas in a pod. ] One of my dragon forms is maybe fifty feet tall. And my phoenix isn't too much smaller than that. I don't use them much. Waaait, I thought Stolas was a million foot tall?! Gasp! Wa-was that a lie? [ Cue the absolutely fake dramatics, she even puts a hand to her forehead and pretends to faint. ]

I'm gonna bite people, and squash 'em under my tail, and make them pee themselves! Then I'll murder 'em. [ Definitely going to be on a vengeance streak when she finds where her family's been taken. ]

Yep, that's me! I'm hard to get rid of.

[They're..., getting there. Baby steps.]

[Two peas in a pod, indeed. Blitzø can't seem to act his age most days, anyway-- with the exception of Playing Dad. And, honestly, the way he can't seem to help taking care of literally everyone around him. There's a lesson to be learned, here. He chuckles again.] Good, 'cause I can't spell for shit. [Another whistle, fairly immediately cut off by an exaggerated buzzer sound.] I said a million before you said you could be like fifty!! He's like-- I'unno, nine or ten? I'm right level with his birdp-- [He cuts himself off, makes a cross-eyed face, and clears his throat. Not going there.] Hips. Like, ahm, [He stands up and waves a hand over the slope of his horns, and then cuts the arm down and taps the side of his hip, just about where his leg meets his pelvis.] There? But then he's only another couple feet, he's mostly leg. [Mostly ankle, actually, by bird anatomy, but Blitzø doesn't know that.]

[Still standing, he shifts and sets both hands on his hips, laughing.] Humiliate 'em before y'kill 'em, good strat.

Well, good-- 'Cause you've sufficiently annoyed me into likin' ya.

[ ~~Time to stalk.~~ There will be no plotting whatsoever in helping them get there. Nope.

Other people can be responsible adults, they can just be family. ] I just use the speech-to-text thing most of the time. [ An exaggerated pout. ] Awww, I wanted to see a million foot birdperson. [ She totally knows what he was gonna say, thanks for sparing her from that. ] I'm gonna have to look way up at him in my human form. Or stare at his belly. [ Not gonna stare at his birdp- or hips.

A sage nod of her head. ] Can't let them get off too easy by just killing them. They should suffer a little first.

[ Aw, another person she's annoyed into liking her. ] It was only a matter of time. My powers of adorable annoyance are too strong.

[~~For the first time since they met again as adults, they're not doing shit real fast.~~ He will not know what to do with that even remotely, actually.]

[He works better as an obnoxious clown of an older brother, anyway. He clicks his teeth and shoots her fingerguns again.] Atta girl. Honestly, wouldn't surprise me if there was one, somewhere. Ice bitch I mentioned earlier is a little taller than Stolas, still, 'n I was like... five when I saw him but Stols' dad might very well be a million feet tall.

[Another crooked grin and he drops back to sitting.] A quality we share, except I'm just flat annoying, I don't reach for the cute factor too often, lookin' like I do.

[ ~~That's why it's the good stuff.~~ Try to enjoy her devious plans?

There's nothing stopping him from being both! A fun older brother, with a dash of a dad who cares about her. ] I'm gonna make it a goal for my bucket list, finding a million foot birdperson. Hang on! [ Nimona grabs a piece of paper and colored pencils, scratching something on it out of view. What she holds up is a drawing of herself (pink) and Blitz (red), and next to them is really... just a pair of bird legs that stretch to the top of the page and beyond. One of the talons is the same size as the two of them. ] There, added! I'm gonna ask him how tall his dad is when I see him.

[ A tilt of her head. ] I don't see a problem with the way you look. And nah, you're fun annoying!

[~~Slow burn after being the quickest burn ever, actually.~~ Try being the operative word.]

[Dadbrother. Brotherdad. Weird Uncle, more like. He's laughing at her, for the bucket list and the drawing, until he's abruptly grimacing and brings both his hands up.] Nnno-- no, don't. Leave his dad out of it, he's uh. They're estranged?

[The plain certainty she says that with earns her a chuckle.] Yeah, that... checks. Uh, [He waves a hand across both sides of his face.] This isn't normal, we're usually just red. Black happens in patterns, stripes or points, [His tail wanders into view, displaying the two stripes and the triangular end in black, like he dipped it in paint.] But the white isn't normal. I'll take fun annoying, though.

[ ~~They went through a lot, they deserve a slow burn.~~ She'd totally set them up on dates.

Dadbrotheruncle. No need to limit themselves, so long as it's family. First he's laughing, then he's not. ] Oooo, that sucks. Anything else I should avoid? There's harassing and pestering someone and there's harassing and pestering them, you know? [ One's in good fun and the other's poking at wounds and issues - even on accident.

The look Nimona gives him is so flat for a moment as he explains it. She spent her whole life being called a monster for not being normal. ] I still don't see a problem. And I've decided not to care what "normal" means anymore. I'm awesome, you're awesome and I'll bite anyone who says different.

[~~Set themselves on fire and then burnt the ashes, too, really.~~ Lord please help Blitzø with dates he's not bad at them he just overthinks it to A Degree.]

[Dabruncle. His expression pinches and he thinks it over, squirming in place. He doesn't like lowkey airing Stolas' grievances, but it's probably safer to tell her things that'll upset him, for everyone involved since she's absolutely the type to follow through on claims to heckle someone.] Uhh..., magic is a bit of a sore spot for him, and probably avoid talk of kids. He's... been forcibly removed from his daughter, just recently.

[He stares at his hands for a long moment, because she's right, but he's not really had someone spell it out quite that plainly to him before. A small, almost shy little smile pulls at his mouth.] Yeah, me too. My teeth are bigger, but I'm pretty sure yours can get a lot bigger, so we'll take turns.

[ ~~Now it can rise like a phoenix from the ashes! Start anew.~~ Time to start planning surprise dates so he can't overthink it then! She'll be a little tricky in getting them to the date the first time, and they'll both wise up fast.

Dabruncle - the new best family member term. Nimona doesn't usually ask for other people's personal issues either, not through another person - but this birdperson seems close to Blitzo and she doesn't want to mess that up. So she'll give a salute. ] Got it! [ And move on.

It took her a bit to get to this point, a thousand years and a whole new world where people accepted her so easily. Even another year to work through the lingering doubts and uneasiness. She's not an expert, but they can try to work on it together. ] It's a deal. You can have first dibs, because I'm gonna get my biting in real soon.

[~~That's the gayest thing I've heard all day.~~ They've gone on exactly two self-imposed dates, and they're fumbling at best, but still enjoying themselves, which is what's important.]

[He'll wear it with honor. And horribly misspell it. Close wouldn't be his first choice of words for his... Situation, with Stolas, but given they both made a valiant attempt at dying for one another it's one he wouldn't deny.]

[He grins, pointedly with as many of his teeth visible as he can manage without grimacing awkwardly.] Fuck yes, first dibs.

[ ~~I'm here to help! :3~~ That is the important part, it's true. Nimona isn't a romance expert, but she's watched from afar. The least she can do is help them have fun.

Considering they made up the word, they should be allowed to misspell it. She is in the dark about their history, only knows they met as kids and now Blitz is crashing on his couch. That he knows all kinds of things about him. Questions what their relationship is secretly.

Nimona raises a hand. ] Can we bite people on Stolas' behalf, too? Would he like it if we bit people for his sake?

[Just give B time to embrace his simp, you'll wish you'd never encouraged him.]

[...The logic is logicing. She could ask, he probably wouldn't know what the fuck to call them, either. A situationship gone wrong turned maybe okay. Tentatively courting is probably what Stolas would suggest.]

[His grin shifts, gets crooked and silly, and he laughs.] He'd probably say no, but I say absolutely yes.

[ She'll start checking that it's safe to come over when that happens.

Friendmance? Trying to be friends and diving into a little romance at the same time? That's what she'd call them if she knew everything.

Nimona grins. ] Got it, only you're allowed his bird feet weird. I'll bite anyone who says otherwise.

[He'll be sure to have a sock on the doorknob sort of deal, just for her.]

[Fuckbuddies who got divorced when they weren't even together and are now doing shit really backwards and being embarrassed by holding hands. Absolute goons.]

[A crackle of boyish laughter.] I'll warn you, we've got... uh. History, so we're really fucking weird around one another. If any of it makes you uncomf, just lemme know, I forget how to behave sometimes. [Specifically, he forgets how to behave most of the time, around Stolas.]

[ A sign in the window/patio door, because why would she ever show up by the front door when she can fly anywhere she wants?

She'll use friendmance. Romantic relationships are weird, even when they weren't quite romantic. It's what they're trying for.

There's a moment of silence, mostly her trying to wrap her head around what he's saying without actually saying. Which involves squinty eyes. ] What kind of weird? Did you accidentally cut off his wing when you saved him from the snow dragon? A sex type of weird?

[He has such a problem with doors and using them properly, which is hilarious given he throws such a tantrum when people don't use his office door.]

[He makes a funny sort of grimacing face.] He hasn't got wings, usually. But, ah. [Squirming, he rubs at the back of his neck.] Previously, sex type of weird? It's real fuckin' hard to explain. [It isn't, he's just awkward.]

[ It really is, but she will just be knocking at the door/window and not busting through walls. Unless he leaves them unlocked and then she'll let herself in ~~unless gross things are happening~~.

A thinking face. ] You sure his arms aren't wings? [ Her nose scrunches, but that's the only real reaction. ] You don't have to explain, relationships are weird and complicated and I'm just getting the hang of family and friends.

[Blitzø Buckzo cannot open doors with his hands he has to kick them in. He'll leave a window unlocked for her and have color-coded sticky notes for the state of he and Stolas to avoid any awkard bust-ins while they're porking.]

[He has to think about it a second, but nods.] Usually, yeah. He... had? Not sure if he can still do it, but he's done this big scary Eldritch Horror thing where he gets all black and extra hot. [A beat, and he turns a funny shade of embarrassed grey.] ...er. Extra... bird. Relationships are fucking insane, I don't recommend them, I'm new to this shit and literally not built for it. Trying it anyway, I guess.

[ It means no one ever forgets an entrance! This is a perfect system and will never get messed up ever.

Not even a hint of surprise to hear Stolas has a big scary Eldritch Horror thing ~~surprise, they have that in common~~ but now she kind of wants to meet him even more. ] But they aren't wings in his usual birdperson form? [ Ignoring the "hot". ] Probably won't ever find out for myself, but this guy back home had his arm cut off by his boyfriend and it got really messy for a while.

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1/2 for icons lol

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