Accidental Video - Backdated To Mother's Day

[sos_pilot]

Type: Video
Sender ID: perfpilot (Della Duck)
To: Public
Subject: missing another mother's day
Warnings: Sads!


[ The feed turns on abruptly, with the image jostling - as Della had violently thrown the device on her bed and not realized it turned on. Everyone is treated to her yelling mid-rant, as she kicks furniture and stomps about, pulling at her hair. ]

- Missed it AGAIN, and this time, it's not even MY FAULT! How is that FAIR?! Haven't I done enough? Why can't I just... why? Is this someone's sick idea of a joke?! Am I just not... allowed to be with them? In any world? In any universe? Why? Why? I... I just...

[ Her voice breaks, and she sits on her bed, burying her face in her hands. After a moment, she shuffles, and pulls out a piece of paper from her jacket. From this angle, it's difficult to tell, but it could be a drawing of three little duck boys. She runs her fingers down the image, and then begins singing softly.

Fair to say a good number of people here know Della as an adventure-loving nutjob. But here and now, her voice is filled with genuine love. ]

Look to the stars, my darling baby boys,
Life is strange and vast,
Filled with wonders and joys,
Face each new sun with eyes clear and true,
Unafraid of the unknown...
Because I'll face it all, with you...

[ Then, out of the corner of her eye - which may be tearing up - she spots the device. And can guess what happened. ]

... Aw, phooey.

[ With a swallow, she reaches over, and weakly smiles. ]

... So. Uh. Anyone know any good jokes?

[ ooc: if you'd like to tag della but not interested in something this depressing, feel free to hit me up for a quest-starter! ]

Comments

[sos_pilot]

Okay, good! So I don't have to explain too much.

[ She's just gunna grab one and start chomping. ]

Now, my twin brother, Donald! He and I have been adventuring since we were kids. While I never stopped loving it, he... kinda did. All the danger and heartbreak was really getting to him, and I won't lie, a lot of us in the family just ignored his pain. Total jerk move on our part - we just thought he was being stubborn.

So one day, we're all out treasure hunting, get caught by gigantic killer scorpions, the usual. As we're ready to fight for our lives, turns out Donald found a genie's lamp... but he didn't know what it was. And he made a wish.

[telepathicignorance]

(Okay, they're already off to a pretty weird start.)

Family of adventurers, huh? (They're not sure there are any families of professional adventurers, or even professional adventurers period.

The closest thing they can think of are the enhanced, and while the enhanced do have families boosts are infertile and mods don't inherit, so multi-generational households of heroes or villains aren't really a thing. Plus, she said they've been doing this since they were kids and children are ...pretty fragile.)

What, did he wish for you all to be a normal family with normal lives or something?

[sos_pilot]

Bingo! Got it in one. Now here's where it gets wacky.

The next thing I knew, we were back home in the mansion - but our memories were all messed up. We didn't remember being on that adventure, or on any adventure in the first place. We were a classic, cheesy family sitcom! With applause and awws and boos and everything! But we had no idea, we thought it was normal!

[telepathicignorance]

(Their face scrunches a little as they think about it.)

There are a lot of stories sbout wishes going wrong. Were there producers and cameramen and everything?

(Were those the "humans" she talks sbout?

They grab a fritter.)

[sos_pilot]

In a sense - they were kinda there, but even if they were in plain sight, we couldn't see them! We could hear the audience, but not really acknowledge them - like, we couldn't talk when they were laughing, y'get me?

The "plot of the episode" was getting a family photo taken. But as it went on, my son Huey - who is so, so, so smart, my lil genius - finally realized something was going on. When he opened books... they were completely blank!

[telepathicignorance]

Big reader then?

(They take a big bite of their fritter as they ponder this. They've never experienced anything quite like that. The closest thing they can think of is being trapped in their own nightmares... maybe some kind of telepath could mess with people that way?

Could they? Is this what getting hit by their dreams feels like?)

[sos_pilot]

The biggest! He loves to learn! He's got so many facts in his brain that he can spit out at any second! And he loves helping out people too, he's such a sweet kid! And he's always there to help his brothers out of trouble!

[ ... she may be getting too distracted in Mom Love to remember telling the original story. ]

[telepathicignorance]

(They can sense her pride. Getting sidetracked is a thing they're used to happening with people.

...Listening to her like this is giving them a weird feeling, actually. Time to get back on track.)

So he was the first to notice something was wrong because he couldn't read his books. What happened next?

[sos_pilot]

[ She blinks rapidly before realizing, oh yeah, story time. She shakes her head, getting back into it. ]

Right! With that hint, Huey began to "wake up" to more of the world's weirdness. Where was all that noise coming from? Why did we all insist on saying catchphrases? Why was Donald's voice suddenly smooth?

[ Side-hand to her beak. ]

My brother has a speech impediment kinda deal. Barely anyone can understand him unless they've known him a long time... but in that place, he could talk like anyone else. In fact, it was like NONE of us had ever gone through trauma or anything sad.

[telepathicignorance]

Huh. Sounds ...nice?(If they could erase what happened... but not if it were fake.

They frown to themself. It sounds more like a prison. One that tempts you to stay because you're scared of the alternative.

They'd been there... until staying became scarier than the alternative.)

[sos_pilot]

Now, with Huey pointing things out, the rest of us began to realize what he was saying was true. Only Donald kept trying to point out the "reasons" for what was happening and keep the original photography plotline going - and so was the "mysterious photographer".

But things came to a head when Huey pointed out there was no fourth wall. Literally. The wall was not there.

Instead... it was the audience. A sea of people just staring at us. Somehow, we only saw them right then and there, despite having looked in that direction tons of times before.

That's when the photographer revealed himself - he was the genie! And he had heard Donald's wish for a "normal family"... except the Genie was from the 90's. So his only reference for "normal families" was sitcoms.

[telepathicignorance]

(They raise an eyebrow.)

Huh. (They snort.) So you're saying Huey broke the fourth wall? (Wait, do duck people use that term? Probably, since the genie apparently knew to set things up like that.)

[sos_pilot]

Yep. It would have been hilarious, if we also weren't, y'know, utterly horrified.

[ Brainwashing is only funny when it happens to other people. ]

Donald still had two wishes left, so we all obviously demanded he switch things back to normal... but he refused! He wanted things normal, and the wish was going to MAKE us go with it.

That's when the audience came after us! And... yeah, they were humans. Except unlike you guys, they just wouldn't stop smiling and laughing, even as they were attacking us! And they kept glitching here and there like a broken computer program. The whole setting went bananas, with extra "characters" rushing in and sudden plots from next week crashing onto the scene!

[telepathicignorance]

(Wow. Donald must have been really desperate.

...They're still not sure if they'd forgive him for deliberately trying to trap them in something like that.)

Okay yeah, that's pretty scary.(Their features twist just slightly at their own flash of memory of their cell guards laughing.) So how long did it take before Donald got scared enough to wish things back?

[sos_pilot]

Well, it wasn't scaring that made him use up the last wishes.

See, as part of that "episode's plot", one of his "friends" showed up, who also happened to be a photographer. He pulled Donald aside and explained that no family is normal, everyone has their own weird thing going on. And part of being a family is accepting them, and if he has a problem, he can always talk to us.

Luckily that seemed to snap him out of his funk, and he used his wishes up. The second wish was to get everything back to the way it was... and the third wish was an actual family photograph with all of us.

[telepathicignorance]

Sounds like the genie didn't want to have to think up more episode plots.

Did you guys have a talk with Donald after?

[sos_pilot]

Oh, absolutely. As bad as I made Donald seem... he's actually a really good guy. He loves his family, and he's done more for me than I can ever repay him, even if I lived a thousand lifetimes. It just took me a good while to realize that I haven't been good at showing him or telling him that.

[telepathicignorance]

He must've been pretty desperate to betray you all like that.

(Desperation. They know what that feels like... though foing nothing as their friends--they don't have a family--are attacked by monstrous humans is something they find themself hoping is beyond them.

They're too soft.)

[sos_pilot]

[ She doesn't like the word "betrayal" in that context, clearly frowning, but doesn't press it for now. ]

He's changed since then, become more confident in himself, and speaks out more about what he wants... he's even decided to go sailing around the world. He got himself a beautiful girlfriend, and adopted some clone-kiddos!

[telepathicignorance]

(They raise an eyebrow at that.)

Clone kiddos?

[sos_pilot]

Oh, THAT is another wayyy more longer and complicated story. The short version is, clone-kids of our housekeeper's granddaughter who herself actually turned out to be a clone of my uncle.

[ She's just gunna let that sink in for a minute as she grabs another pastry. ]

They had nowhere to go and no family, so Donald pretty much said, "my kids now."

[telepathicignorance]

(They make a ...well, it's an expression alright. They also set their pastry down.

Sounds like these clones were allowed to grow naturally. And develop their own identities.)

Huh. (And since they're supposed to be coming up with a weird story of their own... they try to think of a good one.)

[sos_pilot]

[ She takes the lull in conversation to finish her pastry, and to say... ]

... I do feel better now, by the way. This helped.

[telepathicignorance]

(They blink, then snort. There's a bit of a whistling noise from the air going thtough their fucked up nose.)

Haven't actually done much. Guess I could tell you about the laser dolphins or something.

[sos_pilot]

[ That'll do the trick. ]

Laser what now?