text; follow up survey

[indispensable]

Type: Text
Sender ID: vulturvolans (Alhaitham)
To: Public
Subject: Follow Up Survey
Warnings: Subtle unsubtle bragging, and Gay

This is Alhaitham.

I have a survey for people to respond to. Those who have filled up my previous survey from last year may consider this as a follow up of sorts to it—those who have not are free to respond to this one all the same. Regardless, there are similarly no restrictions or stipulations to the nature of the responder; the only thing that I request is for honesty when filling this in.

1) Are you currently in any sort of romantic relationship? (Arrangements made purely for physical reasons do not count.)
2) Does an institution of marriage exist in the world that you come from? Does it play any sort of significant cultural role? Feel free to describe as much or as little as you want.
3) Do you consider the idea of marriage important? What is the primary endgoal in any romantic relationship that you pursue?
4) What do you envision as your ideal future with a partner?
5) What does the concept of 'home' mean to you?

You are free to leave your answers in this post or direct them to my inbox. I will follow up on whatever answers that I feel are necessary.

Thank you for your time.

Comments

[multidisciplinary]

[ Zelda prickles reflexively. She actually thought she did a pretty good job answering what the idea of 'home' means to her. She found home with Link back in Hyrule and now with Darin here on Eltrut. ]

With all due respect, you asked about the concept of 'home' and I answered thusly.

How would you wish me elaborate? With my individual experience? My expectations? Should I speak of 'home' relative to my eventual marriage, or keep those concepts separate?

[ Alhaitham would not be incorrect to read Anonymous's response as somewhat defensive. ]

[indispensable]

[The defensiveness is very reminiscent of Kaveh, so its easy enough to cut through it.]

I did ask about the concept of home, yes, but if I simply wanted a general consensus on the idea there are more than enough books to highlight it to me.

[He is maybe saying this a little dryly. A survey is meant to take personal opinions into account after all.]

But since you're asking for specifics, I would ask for you to talk about it in terms of your own personal experiences and realizations on the topic. I've found that personal anecdotes do tend to give the most clarity on this matter.

[multidisciplinary]

I trust that you will understand why an anonymous respondent would be hesitant to share any personal anecdotes.

[ As if talking about being a member of a ruling class hasn't already basically given away her identity. But very well, she'll give it another try. ]

When I was young, my idea of 'home' was simply synonymous with 'dwelling.' But over the past several years, I have found myself living in situations that I would describe as 'homes.' In two instances, someone dear to me has invited me to cohabitate with them in their own dwelling. I have found, living with them, a sense of peace and comfort, where I need not concerned with the propriety and decorum I was raised to wear like a second skin. I am loved as myself, rather than my title.

Unfortunately, lovely as this is, the concept of 'home' is antithetical to the live I will live after I marry. Propriety and decorum must be my constant companions if I am to effectively fulfill my duties as a leader. I shall simply enjoy it here in this world as long as I am permitted to reside here.

[indispensable]

[WELL there could always be other riftfarers who also happen to be a ruling class person of sorts, one can never know... but yes Alhaitham maybe has a few ideas, though saying it out loud won't do anyone any good so he will refrain.

But with that being said...]

Is there no reason why the two cannot coexist? I understand there may be stipulations based on your position, but I don't see why that should cancel out the things that you have found to be important to you. If anything, I would say that having a place where you don't need to be concerned with propriety and decorum is even more necessary.

[Being able to retreat to the comfort of his home and not have to think about the work of an Acting Grand Sage certainly helped Alhaitham keep himself sane in those three months when he had to take up said role.]

[multidisciplinary]

They can coexist, certainly, but the possibility that they will is statistically unlikely. There are many factors I must consider in a marriage partner, and while I am permitted to take my own feelings into account, they must take a backseat to factors regarding the prospective partner's fitness as a leader.

[ Sure, Zelda would love to have a home to go back to after a long day working as the sovereign of a kingdom. She has deeply enjoyed having that with Link in Hyrule over the past several years since the defeat of Calamity Ganon. But she may need to give that up in the future. As Hyrule's needs change, the sovereign must adjust accordingly. And if Hyrule requires a formal queenship akin to how her father once reigned, then Zelda will give up her happiness to do so. Anything less would be negligent, and Zelda does not want Hyrule to pay for her negligence a second time over. ]

Consider the leader(s) of your homeland. (If it does not have a comparable governmental structure, please disregard my following remarks.)

It is their job to act in a way that benefits the good of all who live within their scope of influence. How would you feel if they were to appoint another leader to work alongside them, but that person did not have the necessary skills to govern your homeland. They are chosen on nepotism rather than merit. Such an ill considered appointment could have negative ramifications on your homeland, such as economic disparity, resource shortages, or strained relations with other governing bodies.

Can you truly, in good conscience, support your leader in selecting an unsuitable partner simply because they are in love with that person?

[indispensable]

[Things are definitely different between what she describes and how Sumeru functions, but he does make an effort to entertain the thought.

...well for a start Nahida had decided to elect him of all people to serve as Grand Sage, though he'd managed to bargain it down to a temporary position for his own benefit. And Kaveh was pretty much the first to accuse him of 'cheating' his way up to the top even though he has zero intention of saddling himself with such thankless work. People certainly didn't agree with the idea of him helming the position too, considering there'd been the likes of Siraj who actually did try to take his life.

...

Yeah this thought exercise isn't going to get him anywhere. But more importantly...]

If I am to be blunt, this seems more of an issue of a perceived lack of confidence in your own choices. Regardless of your station, is the person who you chose to be with for the rest of your life meant to be somebody who compliments you? A person who can understand and see you for who you really are, without the trappings of society; a person who is willing to share weal and woe with you, no matter what. Somebody who knows your strengths and weaknesses, and wants to help you strengthen both.

If that person is already doing all that and more because they desire to be better for you, then I personally don't see how they would be 'unsuited'. Skills and knowledge can always be learned, but character is something that's far harder to change.