text; follow up survey

[indispensable]

Type: Text
Sender ID: vulturvolans (Alhaitham)
To: Public
Subject: Follow Up Survey
Warnings: Subtle unsubtle bragging, and Gay

This is Alhaitham.

I have a survey for people to respond to. Those who have filled up my previous survey from last year may consider this as a follow up of sorts to it—those who have not are free to respond to this one all the same. Regardless, there are similarly no restrictions or stipulations to the nature of the responder; the only thing that I request is for honesty when filling this in.

1) Are you currently in any sort of romantic relationship? (Arrangements made purely for physical reasons do not count.)
2) Does an institution of marriage exist in the world that you come from? Does it play any sort of significant cultural role? Feel free to describe as much or as little as you want.
3) Do you consider the idea of marriage important? What is the primary endgoal in any romantic relationship that you pursue?
4) What do you envision as your ideal future with a partner?
5) What does the concept of 'home' mean to you?

You are free to leave your answers in this post or direct them to my inbox. I will follow up on whatever answers that I feel are necessary.

Thank you for your time.

Comments

[haveaflare]

That is far more respect than I deserve, and he'd hardly need the aid.

[empyrean_mirror]

It's about the principle of the thing, not whether he needs it.

Why do ALL of you--no, not a useful question. Look, I understand what Ultima was and that nothing could be spared in stopping that...creature. But you could have done him the respect of making his own choice where to stand in the face of it. Being granted the power of a god doesn't give any of you more dignity over others, and I know you already knew that.

[haveaflare]

I understand your position, and you make a valid point.

The medicine girl, Kihel is her name, she saved me, even knowing what I'd done. Akashic were everywhere, the city and the world was crumbling around her, and there was none other than Terence I would trust with her safety. I owed her that much, and more. I pray every day he was successful and they escaped before the city's utter destruction. They both deserve more than being the victims of circumstance.

[empyrean_mirror]

[There is a long pause before this response, because Kaveh had to scream into his husband's chest a bit until he calmed down.]

They deserved more than your guilt as a final farewell, too.

[haveaflare]

[His response takes longer, but for a very different reason.]

I know.

I should have told him what happened in the ruins of Twinside, of the girl who saved me to spite what I'd done to her homeland. He has the right to choose and I took that from him. There is no apology for it. Any attempt would be an insult to the man he is.

[He can't bring himself to speak of Terence in the past tense, even though a part of him is sure he sent him off to die on a fool's errand.]

And so, what would you have me do?

[empyrean_mirror]

You spend your time here learning to live outside the confines of guilt and duty. Whether or not you return, or can return, you owe it to them and to yourself to learn what you are outside of Bahamut's chosen. I'm going to wager a guess you've never been much more.

There won't be any absolution to be found. And so, penance will never give you or those who love you aught but pain. So find out who else you are, and something you wish to do with it.

One day, all our pain will be nothing but dust, but the things we leave behind, and the memories we instill will outlive even the gods, Dion. What kind of memories do you want to leave in your wake?

[haveaflare]

[He's actually never been allowed to be anything more.

His reply comes some time later, as though he went searching for an answer.]

I don't know.

[Doesn't know who he is beyond the battlefield, what sorts of memories he wants to leave in his wake, take your pick.]

I have always been Bahamut.

[Not Bahamut's Dominant, or Bahamut's chosen. Dion awakened to Bahamut when he was an infant. To him he is Bahamut. He always has been.]

All my training, my tutelage, was tailored toward that singular calling.

...

I don't mean to make excuses. I only use this to preface that I am trying, but I am far beyond my depth of experience.

[empyrean_mirror]

Wisdom is often born of confusion.

There is time here, Dion. Time enough to be a version of yourself you can be proud of. For whatever other complaints I have about this place--and there are many, in a numbered list--a second chance such as this is a miracle.

[haveaflare]

[Given the conversation he had earlier this month with Joshua, he has a lot to think about. As he told his friend, his heart is a tempest right now, and he would be a poor keeper of Joshua's because of it.

In reality, he does feel some kind of way about Joshua, and he has since they were reunited, but he hasn't taken the time to evaluate what that means.

Time is precisely what he needs.]

Mayhap you're right, Kaveh. I shall endeavor to take your advice and see what this world might show me. Perchance I'll find other answers along the way.

[empyrean_mirror]

Second chances such as these are rare. It's...easy to fear what they can mean.

But I promise you, there is much to be learned from pushing at what never seemed proper or possible.

[haveaflare]

"Proper" doesn't concern me, really. Only what is right, and I am more accustomed to having an answer to what that is. I am...unfamiliar with this uncertainty.

And I'm aware how arrogant that must seem. Admittedly, I suppose it is.

[empyrean_mirror]

That's a harder one to answer. What's "right" is never easy, and comes at a steep cost...what's worse, it's never simple, either.

Still, I am sure there is a way to restore your confidence with new understanding.

[haveaflare]

I'm aware, and it is made worse by the knowledge that what is "right" is never right for all. There is a price for every choice, and it is not always the chooser who pays it.

In truth, they rarely are, when it matters.

Still, you've given me much to consider. I thank you for your honesty and your clarity.