text; follow up survey

[indispensable]

Type: Text
Sender ID: vulturvolans (Alhaitham)
To: Public
Subject: Follow Up Survey
Warnings: Subtle unsubtle bragging, and Gay

This is Alhaitham.

I have a survey for people to respond to. Those who have filled up my previous survey from last year may consider this as a follow up of sorts to it—those who have not are free to respond to this one all the same. Regardless, there are similarly no restrictions or stipulations to the nature of the responder; the only thing that I request is for honesty when filling this in.

1) Are you currently in any sort of romantic relationship? (Arrangements made purely for physical reasons do not count.)
2) Does an institution of marriage exist in the world that you come from? Does it play any sort of significant cultural role? Feel free to describe as much or as little as you want.
3) Do you consider the idea of marriage important? What is the primary endgoal in any romantic relationship that you pursue?
4) What do you envision as your ideal future with a partner?
5) What does the concept of 'home' mean to you?

You are free to leave your answers in this post or direct them to my inbox. I will follow up on whatever answers that I feel are necessary.

Thank you for your time.

Comments

2/2

[multidisciplinary]

[ And yet... ]

He does all these things and more, but

[ 'He?' Zelda, you haven't mentioned a 'he' before. Just vague references to the notion of 'home' being related to someone dear to you. ]

But he has expressed to me in no uncertain terms that he has no desire to lead. And he makes no secret of his disdain for those who occupy the very station I was born into.

Even if he is suited to lead at my side-- and by your ethos, he would be-- I do believe that he would despise it. And eventually me as well.

[ Even setting aside the matter of different worlds and any potential issues of qualification, Zelda is quite certain that Darin would hate life as her consort. He speaks openly about his contempt for nobility and ruling classes, and he doesn't like being forced to do something he doesn't believe is right. A leader sometimes has to choose between two undesirable solutions to a problem because there is no perfect one.

Darin would hate that. Darin would hate losing his freedom to act as he sees fit. A life as Zelda's consort would be a prison for him-- and she can't bear the thought of seeing him in chains ever again. ]

[indispensable]

[It wouldn't be the first time where Alhaitham's bluntness has made people stop talking to him, so he wouldn't be too surprised at all if the same thing happened here. The fact of the matter is that Alhaitham doesn't think much about the lack of a response, simply chalking it up to the other party simply no longer wanting to continue the conversation...

...so when the response does eventually come Alhaitham is a little surprised at first, and as he reads through it its pretty clear that its also something that has been given considerable thought—and while the topic itself isn't really in his purview, he has always respected anyone who does actually make that effort to stop and think; its an effort that he will respond in kind.

Though, really, there's just one thing to say in response to the question there.]

Have you actually asked him?

[Assumptions based on a personal understanding of another's character is not the be all end all. This Alhaitham knows very well from personal experience that goes both ways. Just as how there are things about Kaveh which he understood wrongly, there are also parts of himself that he has come to understand through his husband—the parts which have shown him that things that seem immutable may not be as such after all.]

[multidisciplinary]

[ Zelda stiffens.

Because no, she hasn't asked Darin. She hasn't even thought to ask Darin.

And even if she had, how exactly is she supposed to start such a conversation? Because marriage isn't exactly the kind of subject you can discuss casually, even if Zelda wasn't a princess and sovereign ruler of a kingdom. What is she supposed to say? "Hey Darin, how would you feel about being my consort? Hypothetically speaking, of course. Don't read into it."

How could he not read into it?? ]

No, of course not. How is one to ask such a thing? A question like, "What are your feelings about becoming my consort?", is not the sort of thing one asks on the whims of curiosity. That is the kind of question that would portend a marriage proposal!

[indispensable]

But is this person not somebody you desire to pursue a life with together? Then I don't see the reason why its not something to be asked. Better to be clear on expectations rather than make assumptions which will more than likely be untrue.

[Sorry Zelda but Alhaitham is of zero help here... Kaveh asked right on the spot and Alhaitham simply said yes because he saw no reason to say no. He's unfortunately kind of insane like that.]

[multidisciplinary]

[ Actually, Alhaitham's bluntness is exactly the kind of help Zelda needs. She needs someone to challenge her, force her to acknowledge her presumptions about Darin and the viability of their relationship in the long term. ]

What does that matter? At the risk of potentially revealing my identity, I need to clarify that he and I come from different worlds. Any relationship we have can only be temporary.

[indispensable]

And yet you willingly pursued this relationship of yours despite knowing of its transience. That in turns begets the question of why this is something that is worth your consideration despite it.

[Just putting it out there, lady.]

[multidisciplinary]

[ Ooof, right for the throat on that one.

This is exactly what Zelda told herself over and over again for months, that she shouldn't have a relationship with Darin because it could never be permanent. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't stop herself from falling for him. ]

I did willingly pursue the relationship, yes. What else was I to do? We discovered that we shared the same feelings for one another; our only choices were to engage with each other or sever all contact entirely. Can you honestly tell me you would have done the same with Kaveh, were the two of you in same situation as my lover and I?

[indispensable]

Of course not.

[Where others may struggle with that kind of decision, it is an easy one for Alhaitham. The future is of course a consideration, but in the end it is simply that—something to consider, and not an inevitability. The future is something that can and should be shaped by the ones who will live in it, not by something or someone else that dictates it for them. That he has always believed.]

But beyond the commitment to each other, it is also the commitment to ensure that we do not lose what we have here, regardless of what happens. Since we both chose this, then it is our responsibility to uphold it. What good is a choice if it is something that does not hold up to the conviction it'd been given?

[He chose Kaveh, and so he will do whatever he needs to do to ensure that he does not lose what he already have, even if it means going against what is regarded as the impossible. For what is choice if he cannot upload it for himself?]