shellphones | EGGSPOSURE THERAPY ACT I

Type: VIDEO
Sender ID: reneggadetinkerer (Dr. Ivo Robotnik)
To: Public
Subject: AMA
Warnings: Megalomania

[The feed begins with Eggman sitting at what appears to be a console facing the camera. He's routed his shellphone camera into one of his Buzzbomber Radniks, giving a much more dynamic view of his quickly expanding warehouse and base of operations. The good doctor has wasted no time and appears to be well in production of not just Radniks, but other experiments and tools using the strange magic and technology found on this world. Anyone who knows him well may be alarmed. But if you don't, he just looks industrious.]

[Once the feed starts, he stands and begins to dramatically move about the room, arms clasped behind his back.]

Good day my fellow Riftfarers!

I have been here for several months now and it has come to my attention that several denizens of my world have made it their mission to inform the public of my er...proclivities. As such, I have thought long and hard about what this means and how to move forward.

[As he speaks, he gesticulates with one arm in sweeping, grand gestures.]

As such, I have decided that it is important, in the spirit of transparency that I make my past known. Yes, it is true that I, the Great Dr. Ivo Robotnik, have sought to conquer my world more than a few number of times. However, I have agreed to be on my...best behavior while I remain a tenant of this washed out world and such, I would like to extend the proverbial olive branch. You see, some Hedgehogs who shall remain nameless unless their name is Sonic, seem to believe I have the propensity for good.

Now, in the spirit of this newfound...charitability I wish to point out that any Radniks I have sold to you or anyone else are not dangerous. This has been verified by trusted sources but if you would like to investigate for yourselves? Well, I have nothing to hide.

Which brings me nicely to the reason for this broadcast!

[Eggman snaps, and a graphic appears on the screen.]

If transparency is the name of the game, I thought it would be a fun little exercise in trust! All questions are valid though I will get some of the easier ones out of the way first.

[Ahem.]

My name is Dr. Ivo Robotnik, but I have allowed others to call me Eggman. It was an insulting moniker I have chosen to adopt, thus robbing it of its power over me. As for my general interests? Robotics, mad science, engineering, aeronautics, and theme parks.

The floor is yours and I eagerly await your questions.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

So you acknowledge I'm your adversary but you seek to speak with me regardless?

You've got chutzpah! I can at least tolerate chutzpah.

Where would you like to meet?

No risk, no reward. And this does seem potentially rewarding.

(The way to a villain's heart is through their ego, they've found.)

Ever heard of Daily Kneads? It's not far from the Eltrut docks.

(They'll send coordinates.)

Yes, they have rather good ham croquettes.

I'll be there in half an hour.

I don't think there's a single thing they make that isn't awesome.

(And they'll be there waiting for Eggman when he gets there.)

[Eggman takes his time. After all, he's not at anyone's beck and call. He'll arrive when it suits him.]

[Still, he's hard to miss. But he's not exactly sure who he's looking for. He merely scans the area waiting someone to approach him. To gauge their intent.]

['Now, whoever it was that called me out here clearly has ulterior motives. They're keenly interested in my genius and technical capabilities...which is suspect when I clearly pointed out I'm rather evil. This should be interesting.']

(The person who approaches is... underwhelming, to say the least. Clean, nice hair, otherwise shabby and unassuming, a scrawny lil thing of indeterminate gender with strikingly colorless eyes and an expression that manages only the neutral part of "pleasantly neutral".)

Eggman, right?

(They manage to grin a little--the smirk of someone up to no good--but they don't stick out their hand.)

Dr. Eggman, yes.

And to who do I owe the pleasure of buying me lunch?

Name's Chris. (A bigger grin.)

You said you liked the croquettes?

Chris. Well, that's a boring name. And yes, I'll take a half dozen of the croquettes.

And Robotnik's predictable. (It sounds like he picked Dr. Robotnik as a villain name and then got saddled with Eggman because the public wanted to make fun of him instead.)

Anything else? (They have the dubloons, they can buy pretty much anything he'd like.)

I should hope so, I come from a long line of Robotniks, geniuses all.

Make it a dozen then, I'll take half to go. Now, are you going to get down to business or are you just going to try and butter me up with food?

EGGSPOSURE THERAPY ACT I | [VIDEO]

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