shellphones | EGGSPOSURE THERAPY ACT I

Type: VIDEO
Sender ID: reneggadetinkerer (Dr. Ivo Robotnik)
To: Public
Subject: AMA
Warnings: Megalomania

[The feed begins with Eggman sitting at what appears to be a console facing the camera. He's routed his shellphone camera into one of his Buzzbomber Radniks, giving a much more dynamic view of his quickly expanding warehouse and base of operations. The good doctor has wasted no time and appears to be well in production of not just Radniks, but other experiments and tools using the strange magic and technology found on this world. Anyone who knows him well may be alarmed. But if you don't, he just looks industrious.]

[Once the feed starts, he stands and begins to dramatically move about the room, arms clasped behind his back.]

Good day my fellow Riftfarers!

I have been here for several months now and it has come to my attention that several denizens of my world have made it their mission to inform the public of my er...proclivities. As such, I have thought long and hard about what this means and how to move forward.

[As he speaks, he gesticulates with one arm in sweeping, grand gestures.]

As such, I have decided that it is important, in the spirit of transparency that I make my past known. Yes, it is true that I, the Great Dr. Ivo Robotnik, have sought to conquer my world more than a few number of times. However, I have agreed to be on my...best behavior while I remain a tenant of this washed out world and such, I would like to extend the proverbial olive branch. You see, some Hedgehogs who shall remain nameless unless their name is Sonic, seem to believe I have the propensity for good.

Now, in the spirit of this newfound...charitability I wish to point out that any Radniks I have sold to you or anyone else are not dangerous. This has been verified by trusted sources but if you would like to investigate for yourselves? Well, I have nothing to hide.

Which brings me nicely to the reason for this broadcast!

[Eggman snaps, and a graphic appears on the screen.]

If transparency is the name of the game, I thought it would be a fun little exercise in trust! All questions are valid though I will get some of the easier ones out of the way first.

[Ahem.]

My name is Dr. Ivo Robotnik, but I have allowed others to call me Eggman. It was an insulting moniker I have chosen to adopt, thus robbing it of its power over me. As for my general interests? Robotics, mad science, engineering, aeronautics, and theme parks.

The floor is yours and I eagerly await your questions.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

A scientist that believes and works with factual and documented phenomena! "Ghosts" implies there's more to our physical, corporeal bodies besides the synaptic, electrical responses that make up our consciousness.

"Ghosts" are just "souls" and "souls" are just ways to trick idiots into being good!

So, no thank you! I prefer my electrical synapses and physical responses to wishful thinking and vibes.

Haaaaaah.

( eggman, ever have a teenager look at you like you're the dumbest person in existence?

you sure have now.

momo scoffs, flapping a hand. )

You're the idiot if that's what you think they are!

I'm not going to let you keep embarrassing yourself, so listen up, Doctor. You're going to get a lesson from an expert.

( meaning her. )

Spirits aren't bad or good. They just are. Just like people. They can choose to either be bad or good by themselves. It's up to them how to spend their afterlife.

The spirits who are still here aren't "bad", you dummy. They're the ones who couldn't move on. The ones who are still hurting the most.

Ah...haaah.

Tell me, Momo. Are there spirits in the room with you right now??

[Yeah, he's not believing this for a second and Eggman's default is just being a jerk.]

( she rolls her eyes. this isn't anything new for her. )

So what, you're just intellectually uncurious?

Don't be cute! I'm "intellectually curious" about observable phenomena! If you're trying to tell me that "spirit orbs" and other related hocus pocus are real, then I'm going to need proof, girl!

—Yet you didn't ask for proof, old man! You were just dismissing it outright!

( still is, actually. )

Put your fucking thinking cap on! Open your eyes! There's a whole new plane of existence to learn about!

And I can prove it to you!

Fine! If you have verifiable proof that ghosts exist I will concede victory to you! However, if your proof isn't up to snuff, you must do something for me!

You will allow me to study your telekinesis!

Fine!!

If I can't prove it to you, I'll let you study my abilities!

( then a grin. momo isn't stupid enough to think there isn't a chance for him to go back on his word. he's an old guy, he might double down even after being thoroughly proved wrong. old guys hated changing their way of thinking. )

If you try to cheat me, I'll make sure no one ever respects you or your name ever again.

Bold words! I like someone willing to gamble! And what makes you so sure that you can do anything that would cause others to look down upon any of my monikers?

Easy.

I understand people better than you do.

Nonsense! My machinations have plans within plans! I've built contingencies and failsafes that depend entirely on understanding how people think! The first salvo in any kind of proper warfare is psychological!

What makes you think you know better than me, Dr. Eggman!

( she smiles threateningly. )

See you soon, Doctor!

( there's a brief flash of a floating green hand making a victory sign before momo cuts the connection. )

...I'm going to amend my "I hate Hedgehogs" motto. I don't feel it's broad enough.

I'm officially transitioning to "I hate teenagers."

EGGSPOSURE THERAPY ACT I | [VIDEO]

no subject

1/2

2/2

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

end feed;

no subject