Volunteering

[hellofishies]

Type: Video
Sender ID: hellofishies (Arkady)
To: Everyone
Subject: Volunteering Volunteers?
Warnings: N/A

Hello! [ Arkady waves with a big smile ] I'm Arkady and I need help. I'd like to be able to help people more here but I need to know how much I can. Back home I can see the future sometimes when I try. But the people I would try with aren't here.

[ which is very hard for her so really she's just looking to find more people she can help look after. Anything to feel more useful than she currently does. ]

Would anyone be willing to let them look for them? It wouldn't hurt you! [ just her ]

I could also maybe help with other things. Lost memories or broken minds. It's wasn't my specialty but I know hurt. I just... [ she fidgets awkwardly with the sheer skirt she's wearing before saying quietly: ] want to do more than I did back home

Comments

video | un: BlossomingTide

[withermarked]

That seems kind of you.

[ If it's genuine, of course. He makes a point to look friendly, regardless. ]

When you say the future… do you mean to say the future here, or uh, where we're from?

[ He tries to seem less invested in this question than he is, lean more into curiosity and clarification than anything else. No one needs to know exactly how invested he is in finding out what’s going to happen back home.

Happened back home? Tenses seem tricky when it comes to all that. ]

An’ you said memories. Minds. What's that mean—I mean, what kind of help would that be?

[ Because he's known one person here who could read minds, and the whole thing made him more than a little nervous. But he doesn't want to assume anything. ]

[hellofishies]

Thank you! [ She seems happy someone's said that! But she does hesitate for a moment. ]

I'm not sure. I think that's why I'd like to try. Maybe I could see things here or maybe I could see things back home too. I guess it depends on how much of a future is written in you?

[ But she does really want to find out if either is possible. Or both. ]

Anything someone might need. Sometimes people lose track of things in their mind, I could help them find things. Or if things get broken, I might be able to help with that. My friend was really good at helping people get over really bad things that happened. I don't think I'd use her way though.

[withermarked]

Suppose it would.

[ But something about that phrasing makes his expression flicker just a little. That's the question isn't it? If his future is written or if he has any freedom to write his own. ]

What was her way?

[ He has a lot of questions honestly, but he decides to start there.

There's also something tempting in the idea of fixing any of what feels broken. Or getting over any of the bad things that have happened. But unfortunately those things would probably involve letting anyone in on his secrets and he's not inclined to do that. ]

[hellofishies]

Is there something you want to know about your future here? Or is it back home?

[ She wants to know a lot about back home, but she's too scared to look here. Which makes her feel some sort of way. Spoiler: it makes her feel like a bad person. ]

Sirkka is a good person, she just really wanted to help people she felt responsible for. So, she took the bad memories away from them. [ Which did help, obviously. But there's clearly some ethical issues there. ]

[withermarked]

I'll admit I'm curious about both.

[ Because how long is his future here? Long enough that he has room to breathe? To hope any of this lasts?

But he still keeps his tone carefully casual, shifting to rest his chin on a hand as he chats. ]

I'm not sure if I'd want anyone to do that.

[ The bad memories are part of him, and he's already given up so many parts of himself hasn't he? But then again, he wants to be someone new. Not that he says any of that either. ]

So do you—do you mean to say you'd see into people's memories?

[hellofishies]

Maybe I can help you then. To see one or the other.

[ She frowns a tiny bit and nods. ] I don't think I'd want to do that to anyone here. I've never liked doing it.

[ But there's been times where it's been necessary to keep their secrets back home. ]

Yes. I wouldn't look at everything though, only things they wanted me to and were okay with me looking at.

[withermarked]

Perhaps.

[ We live our lives in the poisoned fields of perhaps. Is that better or worse than the alternative?

A little pause, as he looks uncertain what to say next. ]

I certainly mean you no disrespect, but to take someone at their word when they have that power at their command... that is a great deal of trust, wouldn't you say?

[ In other words: he's wary of telepaths. He knows a bit about keeping his thoughts to himself, but would that even work with all of them? He has no idea. ]

[hellofishies]

You don't have to if you're not comfortable. I'll understand really.

[ She nods and seems a great deal more serious. ]

I know. Trusting anyone is hard, especially someone that might see things you don't want them to. But I've seen what happens when our power is abused. I wouldn't want to be like that. [ again. ]

[withermarked]

[ He decides this might be a good time to switch the replies over to private, for whatever exact reason. ]

I'm not—I'm just not sure if I am yet.

[ But it's not just about comfort. It's about the fact that now that he knows there might be a way to find out, his brain is going to gnaw and worry at it like a dog with a bone. ]

Is that... somethin' you want to talk about?

[ His tone is gentle, even if his reason for asking may well just be wanting to know more about the dangers. ]

video | un: ChaosVessel

[chaosvessel]

[He frowns. He doesn't know what she's up to, but he knows he doesn't like it.]

It'll hurt you.

[hellofishies]

[ She smiles and shakes her head adamantly as she lies. ]

No it won't. I'll be okay.

[chaosvessel]

[He narrows his eyes at that lie.]

What do you plan on doing?

[hellofishies]

Nothing different than things I've done before.

[chaosvessel]

Is that supposed to be a comfort?

[hellofishies]

Yes! Did it not work?

[chaosvessel]

[No.

He just stares at the video feed for a moment before responding.]

What do you want to do?

[hellofishies]

A few things. But I promise nobody will get hurt. You don't need to worry about anyone.

Video | un: magehater928

[magehater928]

Even if it were possible to uncover lost memories, I am not inclined to believe it will go well.

[It’s tempting, of course, but Fenris is almost always going to take the road of assuming the worst.]

Power such as this always comes at a cost. A fractured mind is easy to shatter.

[hellofishies]

I can understand worrying about that. But I can guarantee nobody that volunteered would have any bad effects. I'd pay the cost.

[magehater928]

[He’s quiet for a moment, and rubs the back of his neck.]

What do you mean you would pay the cost? If you should get hurt instead, I do not think that would make my sentiment any different.

[hellofishies]

If there is a cost, it'd only be to me. That's all I mean. There probably won't be one, so nobody needs to worry.

[magehater928]

Probably is not a convincing enough answer.

What do you mean?

[hellofishies]

You're very sweet for being so concerned for a stranger.

[magehater928]

[That certainly catches him off guard. He supposes it is partly concern.

Perhaps it’s projecting a little, as well. He understands what it’s like to live with something that can harm both ways and the gravity of it.

He inhales to say something, hesitates, and then sighs.]

I would rather people here not use their.. [It doesn’t seem like magic, so he’s refraining] ..abilities in a way that would bring harm to them.

I would not see it as a thing worth putting you through. Even if it means I could remember.

[hellofishies]

It would take a lot for my abilities to really hurt me. And I also can heal very fast.

[ she pauses a beat and then very cheerfully follows up with: ]

I'm pretty sure I can't die either. [ see it's all good ]

What don't you remember?