Video || A Crabulous Query

[catsgothistongue]

Type: Video
Sender ID: catsgothistongue (Ranma)
To: Public
Subject: Crabs
Warnings: Small mention of broken arm, Ranma's general idiocy

[The video feed opens up to a calm, relaxing beach viewing with waves gently crashing on the shore and crabs scuttering along in their own little world. The screen would change to front-facing mode to show Ranma sitting on the beach, left arm bandaged and in a cast and a few crabs climbing on and off of him. He seemed almost wistful, as if he's about to poise a sagely question...]

Think anyone here tried cooking any of the crabs here yet? [... or not.] Or at the least tried to get a leg off the big one. Imagine how much you could make with just a leg!

[Ranma no.]

Just uh... Just a hypothetical. [He's totally not salivating right now.]

Comments

Text

[telepathicignorance]

(Their face, on the network? Nah.)

They seem kind of intelligent for that.

(At least, the ones on Norhpip do. Almost like people. They communicate, live in homes, make vodka...

Typical of a Human to just disregard all that.)

video

[empyrean_mirror]

Ranma, no.

[A beat.]

What happened to your arm?

[catsgothistongue]

Really? Hadn't realized it.

[To be fair, if they're actually sapient and capable of coherent thoughts, Ranma wouldn't eat them.]

[catsgothistongue]

What? It was just a passing thought! I'm not going to actually try!

[He has restraint on his intrusive thoughts. Mostly.

Looks at arm. Looks back at screen.] Just a small incident. Not a big deal.

[empyrean_mirror]

...How injured is it, actually?

[He is not buying your bullshit.]

[catsgothistongue]

... Are you asking on a scale of one to ten, or...? Cause right now, it's about a one, and when it happened, it was about a two.

[Now does one scale for 'feels fine' or 'everything is pain'?

Yes.]

[empyrean_mirror]

I am asking for an assessment of the actual physical damage, not your pain tolerance, if you please.

[He sees you, Ranma. He sees you.]

[catsgothistongue]

[Of course he does, he's literally on video.]

Okay, okay. It just got lightly crushed between a press or something while I was in a maze. [Said as if that's the most common thing that could happen to anyone.]

1/2

[empyrean_mirror]

Crushed--

[He is laying his phone down and muting it to screech into a pillow.]

2/2

[empyrean_mirror]

You're going to tell me it's perfectly fine and you've handled it and thus you haven't seen a healer, have you?

[catsgothistongue]

[Bless you Kaveh. Ranma's a little surprised that he somehow guessed what he was going to say.]

Yeah? I bandaged it, disinfected it, and put the sling on. It'll heal in four days, give or take.

[empyrean_mirror]

...Can you give me your word you'll be much more careful if I can fix it today?

[catsgothistongue]

[You are being too generous for him.]

I'm always careful!

[The splintered bones and flattened flesh says otherwise.]

[telepathicignorance]

The ones on Norhpip were handing out vodka to people playing Never Have I Ever. I think they made it themselves.

[catsgothistongue]

Oh, right, forgot about that. I wasn't allowed to have any of the actual vodka cause I'm underage or whatever.

[empyrean_mirror]

You can always be more. Are you going to be able to give me your word or not, Ranma?

[catsgothistongue]

You don't gotta do that. Like I said, it's fine. I've been through worse, I don't even feel it!

[He foolishly moved the ruined arm, which predictably made him wince in pain and suck in a breath.]

[empyrean_mirror]

[Kaveh crosses his arms on video.

Does he need to say anything, Ranma?]

[catsgothistongue]

[He too will cross his arms. Arm, crossing the one working arm.]

... [Kaveh won't leave him alone until he does so, will he?] ... Fine, how much do you want?

[empyrean_mirror]

Next time you get hurt, get your injuries checked out by healers. I know you're not going to stop investigating things, and I'm not asking you to. But this is a different world, and there may be things here you've never been hurt by before.

["think before you act" seems like an impossible ask for Ranma so let's go with this.]

Deal?

[catsgothistongue]

You don't gotta talk to me like I'm some little kid...

[Just because you're older and taller than him!]

But if it'll get you off my back, okay. I will.

[empyrean_mirror]

I am explaining my position clearly, Ranma, that's just backing up my thesis.

[he sighs.]

Can you get to the house fine?

[catsgothistongue]

Could've explained your thesis in a way that didn't sound so patronizing. Even my old man wasn't so high-strung about all this.

[Because Genma Saotome is just the shining example of a caring parent.]

Yeah, I can be there in a couple of minutes. It's my arm that's broken, not my legs, 'member? [He said dryly before putting away his phone.

A few minutes later, he'll be at the front of the home of the architect twink and his roommate, knocking on it. Be glad he doesn't feel like coming through the window.]

[empyrean_mirror]

[He is literally not being condescending ranma he is a SCHOLAR who CARES ABOUT YOU?

but fine he'll come open the door and--uh. wow. For one, he's dressed down, so just a messy bun. Loose shirt. comfy pants. the bags under his eyes could carry an entire grocery store.]

Ah, there you are. Here, we'll do this in the garden, I shouldn't do this inside the house.

[Also Ranma is still technically banned over the fish statue.]

[catsgothistongue]

[But why tho, it doesn't concern you??

Blink blink.]

Are you sure you're not the one who needs help? You look like crap.

[Tell your bf to grow up already, gosh!]