Video || A Crabulous Query

[catsgothistongue]

Type: Video
Sender ID: catsgothistongue (Ranma)
To: Public
Subject: Crabs
Warnings: Small mention of broken arm, Ranma's general idiocy

[The video feed opens up to a calm, relaxing beach viewing with waves gently crashing on the shore and crabs scuttering along in their own little world. The screen would change to front-facing mode to show Ranma sitting on the beach, left arm bandaged and in a cast and a few crabs climbing on and off of him. He seemed almost wistful, as if he's about to poise a sagely question...]

Think anyone here tried cooking any of the crabs here yet? [... or not.] Or at the least tried to get a leg off the big one. Imagine how much you could make with just a leg!

[Ranma no.]

Just uh... Just a hypothetical. [He's totally not salivating right now.]

Comments

[telepathicignorance]

The ones on Norhpip were handing out vodka to people playing Never Have I Ever. I think they made it themselves.

[catsgothistongue]

Oh, right, forgot about that. I wasn't allowed to have any of the actual vodka cause I'm underage or whatever.

[telepathicignorance]

I mean, they can also be reasoned with and have been helping people...

How old are you?

[catsgothistongue]

Seventeen. Where I'm from, you've gotta be twenty to drink or smoke, so I guess it's a similar law here. Though I've drank a couple of times before, mostly against my will or by accident.

[telepathicignorance]

(By accident, huh. They suppose it's possible he just doesn't like alcohol, but they're thinking that that's a lie.)

Weird that that's what they decide to limit.

(The kid is a potentially deadly fighter living as a pirate, they're pretty sure that's a lot worse than drinking or smoking.)

[catsgothistongue]

[He really doesn't. All it does is make someone tipsy or aggressive and doesn't taste good. It rarely ends well for him so it leaves a lot of bad taste in his mouth, pun intend. He'll only ever drink it if its out of his volition or if he has a reason to.]

That's just in Japan. In some other parts of the world, there's some that'll go as low as fifteen. The law's usually there cause that stuff can irrevocably damage a person's body, but not me.

[Hey, he has morals and honor! That's the only thing stopping him from actually being deadly unless push comes to shove.]

[telepathicignorance]

So can fighting, extreme sports, some non extreme sports...

(All things that kids do, are allowed to do, and occasionally even encouraged to do?

Consider: Ranma might have honor but someone who doesn't might kill him!

Humans are weird about what they restrict, is what they're saying.)

[catsgothistongue]

Yeah, but unlike those stuff, that's on the outside. Alcohol's basically poison you're ingesting inside you. Broken bones are a lot easier to deal with than having to go through dialysis.

[So basically everyone Ranma's fought back home?]

[telepathicignorance]

And I'd rather be on dialysis than have a TBI.

(Should a kid really be fighting to the death?

Of course, they're also thinking of their world, where boosted heroes younger than drinking age aren't uncommon, despite the drugs involved killing most of the people who take them. And then those kids go on to become slaves to the government or corporate greed.)

[catsgothistongue]

To be fair, when's the last time a little head trauma's killed anyone? [Ranma.

He does it all the time! It's fine! Nothing gets the blood pumping than having someone try to turn you into a red paste all over the ground!'

Lesson of the day: don't do drugs kids.]

[telepathicignorance]

It's one of the two most common causes of immediate death.

(This kid has a really screwed up perception of things.)

[catsgothistongue]

... Oh, right. [Did he seriously forget that not everyone's super durable like most martial artists of his caliber?? Yes he did.] Well... it's never killed me or anyone I know from back home!

[That's what you get when you've been conditioned to have violence towards you be treated as if it's an everyday occurrence.]

CW: momentary suicidal ideation

[telepathicignorance]

Pretty sure that's called survivorship bias.

(Not even going to get into how surviving a TBI is only sometimes a happy outcome.

Does a psychic scar count as a TBI? Because they'd be better off dead after Heartbreak.)

[catsgothistongue]

Agree to disagree. [Not what that means Ranma.] The point I'm trying to make here is...

[...]

Uh, what were we discussing again?

[telepathicignorance]

That's a funny way of saying you refuse to listen to reason.

(Seriously kid. They know this guy's got enhanced durability--it sounds like it might be typical in his world--but that doesn't make this stuff harmless!)

Crab intelligence.

[catsgothistongue]

>:/ I'm not actually going to try attacking the crabs here. It was just a passing thought.

[Can't you tell he's just so great at thinking?]

[telepathicignorance]

You don't have much of a filter, do you?

(Just blurting out his thoughts like that. They weren't planning to tell anyone their secrets anyway, but he definitely doesn't seem like someone who could keep one.)

[catsgothistongue]

I guess? Why do you ask?

[Excuse you, he can keep a secret when he wants to! Circumstances simply conspire against him that they end up revealed anyway!]

[telepathicignorance]

No reason. You just seem really bad not saying things.

[catsgothistongue]

>:/ I am good at saying things, so guess you're not entirely wrong. :P

[telepathicignorance]

What's that saying? "It's better to remain silent and thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubts."?

[catsgothistongue]

Never heard of that one before, so I don't see your point.

[telepathicignorance]

The point is you talk like an idiot.

[catsgothistongue]

Screw you too.

[telepathicignorance]

You're like half my age, kid. Gross.

(They are deliberately being an ass now.)