shellphones | (no subject)

Entry tags:

(no subject)

Type: Text
Sender ID: anonymous (Astarion)
To: General Public
Subject: The Rifts
Warnings: None

What is even the point of becoming close to anyone here, if they can all just leave as quickly as they came?

Oh, sure, let's all play our little games and finish our silly little quests and feel this sense of camaraderie working towards a goal we all damn well know is unaccomplishable. And along the way, we can learn the magic of friendship only to have it taken away by the Rifts without any further explanation.

It would be nicer to believe we were being held to the whims of some vengeful god instead of the unfeeling randomness of the Rifts and their "unknowable" magic.

Then, at least, there would be someone to curse for the cruelty of it.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ but it's so accurate! ]

It would just be so much easier not care about anyone.

[ He does not sit on babies! ]

I, too, believed this for a time. In truth, I am not sure that I have stopped believing it, much as I wish to. It is a most difficult change to bring about in oneself.

To care about people, the greater good, comes easily. To care for the people closest to you, is quite a bit harder. Those closest to you have a greater ability to inflict pain on you, certainly their inevitable absence here is a looming, known threat.

All the same, I would like to believe that the fond memories we build, the moments shared between those one cares for, are worth the inevitable pain. Though I know these words are easier for me to say, as I am not the one aggrieved.

You have my condolences, friend. Know that you did not make a mistake in caring for them, much as their absence may pain you now.

[ This is so much harder because it's Xenk, and Astarion knows that, and the fact that Xenk doesn't know its him is both an opportunity and a drawback. ]

What would you do, if you lost someone you'd become close to here?

[ Xenk considers the stranger's words. He has indeed grown close to several people here. ]

I would mourn them. I would gather close their memories and keepsakes, and allow myself to feel the ache of their absence.

And once a new day dawned, I would continue on, with their memories and the ache of their loss alongside me. It has been my fate to do so, with the many people I have lost in this life.

The ache lessens in time, as one grows around them. But they are not forgotten. I would do the same for anyone here.

If you would do the same for anyone, then how do you know you care more about the people you're supposedly close to?

[ What a curious thing to ask. ]

What varies is the depth of the ache, and the depth of the mourning.

[ Now you're making him think about it, stranger!! And he's sad about it. ]

There are those in this world who I would miss dearly. For whom I would mourn greatly. For whom I would curse this unfathomable, unknowable entity that brought us here, for so cruelly bidding us part. Whether or not it be fate itself, I would mourn.

Forgive me if my words have seemed dismissive in tone. It is true that at times one is faced with no choice but to move forward, even when one carries the ache of a loss in one's heart. But one must still take the time to mourn.

I am deeply sorry that you have suffered the injustice of losing someone dear to you. You are owed your mourning, in whichever way you see fit.

It's not like he's dead. He's better off going home, anyway.

[ Mourning friendships??? What he doesn't know anything about that ]

[ Xenk is soooooo good at mourning, stranger!! ]

Then once you have mourned him, you can find comfort in knowing he has returned to his home.

But the mere fact that he is returned need not lessen the hurt you feel. It is acceptable to feel saddened, angry, or lost, when one experiences a loss.

It doesn't feel like much of a comfort.

It will not, when the ache is new. Allow yourself to feel however you feel now. Seek your own comforts, be they among friends, drink, a good book or a fair distraction.

With time, his safety will comfort you. But today, allow yourself time to treasure his memories and miss him. Were I your friend, I would wish for the same.

I suppose it might. I don't know. Right now I'm just angry.

An understandable response.

While I would normally suggest meditation as a means to work through anger, I sense this may not be an avenue that would be appreciated.

Have you attempted a ride through the forest? Or perhaps you might find someone to fight, so long as they are aware of your feelings. Something to tire yourself physically, to match your mental strain.

Edited (ok last one) 2023-09-29 01:02 (UTC)

I'll think about it, but honestly it sounds like more trouble than it's worth.

It may be. The value placed in it is up to you.

I wish you the best of luck, regardless.

Thank you.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only