Video || Bugsnax

[fractales]

Type: Video
Sender ID: fractales (Turo)
To: General Public
Subject: Snaxburg Island
Warnings: Parasites+

Hello, and good day- I am Professor Turo for those who I have yet to meet.

This message is more for those of you that also visited Snaxburg Island and either had one of the creatures there follow you off of it, or may have... unfortunately eaten any of them.

[As he spoke, Turo's tone may have remained calm but there was a serious note to it. There did happen to be a Strabby perched on the desk behind him, a pink bow tied around it, which Turo did know was around but didn't know was there at the moment. There was, however, one he did know was going to be in frame.

Held very much like a hamburger he lifted up a BBQ Bunger so that googly eyes were facing the phone's camera.]

I do in fact mean those creatures like this- for those who might not have gone to the island, or even those who may need a reminder. These creatures that are known as Bugsnax are parasitic creatures that only have that nature turn into something dangerous upon being eaten. So again-

[After setting Chipotle the BBQ Bunger back down.]

Do not eat the Bugsnax, they are parasitic in nature upon being consumed.

If you have eaten any of the creatures found on Snaxburg Island, we may need to have a word or more. Please do get in touch.

Comments

video; un:catsgothistongue

[catsgothistongue]

[Ranma himself hadn't visited Snaxburg Island. However, he's met people here who have adopted some as a companion. Namely, one of his crewmates. Needless to say, when the video pop-up reporting the parasitic nature showed, it took precident.]

... If they're that dangerous, wouldn't it be easier to light the whole island ablaze so no one'd have a chance to visit and decide 'Oh, this walking burger or pizza or whatever look like a tasty snack' is a good idea?

[fractales]

I'm afraid it's a bit late for that. There's reason I'm making it widely known.

They are honestly, as far as I can glean from what else is there, rather safe unless someone eats a good number of them.

[catsgothistongue]

Don't tell me somebody already took a chomp outta one of those freak of natures.

[Cause if they did... First, Ranma'd want to know how it tasted, and secondly slap them upside the head because why would you eat an animal... without killing or cooking it first? Oh, and the parasite aspect of it too.]

One of the guys on my crew took a strawberry as a pet. Had the same googly eyes for them. If he doesn't see this, I'll catch him up.

[Because he totally wasn't the one who made the joke about wondering if it tasted good.]

[fractales]

There are quite the many of them that had bites taken out of them, and there is no way to tell if anyone ate some whole or not. Hard to miss the ones still walking about with bites.

[Unfortunately.]

Please do. That entire island is- well, let us say your recommendation of arson would not help as much as you think it could.

[catsgothistongue]

Ya' sure they weren't done by some wild animal? Did the teeth marks look human? Though it wouldn't shock me if people here were that dumb to eat them.

[Suddenly people getting on his case for joking about eating a giant crab feels ridiculous now. Good thing his old man isn't here. That gluttonous panda would've halved the Bugsnax population in a matter of hours.]

Think I'm seeing what you're getting at. If they're parasites, chances are they've already latched onto a host or more for a while now. Your prognosis come up with a cure or way to remove them, Doc?

[It's the lab coat that gave him the impression of Turo being a doctor.

... He still thinks burning the island just to get rid of any loose ends to be safe would be a good idea.]

[fractales]

They were very human teeth marks, and there were no other animals on that island that could take bites that large.

[Still brings to question who would eat something with googly eyes--]

To stop eating them, and give them time to pass through the system. A taste creates a craving that they may count on to keep the host continuously eating them, changing them. There is some evidence that simply stopping is the trick, the amount of time simply depending on how much, or how many, were eaten.

Simple, but difficult to do if one were to live amongst them. Reason what civilization had once been there no longer is, perhaps.

[What's arson against the entire island being made of snax- and a good many being fire proof.]

[catsgothistongue]

[There goes any benefit of the doubt. It never fails to amaze him just how moronic people could be when it comes to food. Everything always goes wrong when food's involved. Arguments, parasites, getting forced into an engagement due to Amazonian laws stemming from eating the prize buffet, etc.

The implications made the martial artist's lips pursed to a thin line. Here he thought Jusenkyo's curses were horror enough. The changes there are instantaneous that they don't feel it. Slowly turning into food is the stuff of nightmares...]

Then we need to hunt down the dumbasses who took a bite and make sure they don't eat anymore. Last thing we need is an infestation that could wipe us all out.

[Rats! Arson has failed them!]

[fractales]

I am hopeful they see or hear this, and have mind enough to stop. At least it would be obvious who if they managed to eat enough to start the change. Otherwise it would need to be any of them coming forwards.

[He wouldn't turn over someone who spoke to him in private, simply in hopes they could be strong willed enough for nothing more than a warning to be needed.

Still, it was difficult not to think of those carved images.]

[catsgothistongue]

I'll let you know if I see anyone walkin' around with a pineapple for a head or a candy cane for a leg. [Joking, obviously, but he's still being serious here.] We can always tie them up and lock them somewhere if they're too damn stubborn to stop eating.

[fractales]

That may honestly be exactly what you will need to look for, given how dramatic the transformations seem if the carvings are fully accurate. [More reasons to make the Bugsnax catalogue public, honestly; including the danger of eating them.] True, even if drastic in measure.

I am simply glad the remedy seems as simple as letting it pass through one's system.

[catsgothistongue]

I'm used to strange transformations myself, so half-food people'll stick out more. Hard to hide you've gotten yourself infected when the changes are easy to spot.

Drastic times calls for drastic measures sometimes.

[He's not going to go out and hogtie someone just cause they've eaten a Bugsnax. Only if their body is 50% groceries and they're going on insane rambles over food.]

That's a relief...

[fractales]

Very, very easy to spot. [That and someone in a panic over suddenly having a carrot for an arm--]

I'll be running tests on some of the actual fruits I gathered from there as well, to see if something about them may help offer any answers to this parasitic issue. [Given that their presence seemed to disrupt the usual goings on of the creatures.

... possibly why the 'Sodies' seemed rather eager to be rid of the sauce if any came near them on anything.]

[catsgothistongue]

[If someone sees this and still decide eating one's a good idea, then maybe they deserve having a carrot for an arm.]

Need any help with that? I'm not exactly a parasitologist-- [If that's even a real word. It is, he just isn't sure if that's an actual field of study.] --but as a martial artist, if there's anything I can do to keep innocent people alive and unharmed, I'm willing to do just about anything.

[fractales]

I might. It was observed that some bugsnax have varying reactions to the sauces produced from the fruit, some to the point of wanting to be rid of it the moment any came near. They react to the scents of the sauce.

[Which were, strangely enough, safer for consumption given they were actual fruits.]

[catsgothistongue]

Weird. Some foods compliment well with sauce to slather or dip them in. If anything, you'd think coverin' themselves in it would make them more enticing to potential hosts.

[fractales]

It also attracts them to each other- various types are attracted to the sauces as well, and there is one that seems specialized in washing it off.

[catsgothistongue]

Huh.

[Strange. Then again, they're talking about parasites taking the forms of living food. Does it really have to make a lick of sense? It's still giving him a headache thinking about the whole lot of NOPE going on in this post.]

Do you need someone to collect sauces and bring them to you for experimenting?

[fractales]

Perhaps once I'm not out to sea- which will give me enough time to come up with something that could allow for distance with testing if it comes down to doing so on the island.

[... Turo is going to end up creating water guns that work with sauce.]

[catsgothistongue]

Sounds good. By the way, name's Ranma, if you ever need to find me.

[Hot sauce water gun fight?]

[fractales]

Ranma, a pleasure. A name I will keep in mind once it is time, and even without that. I appreciate the offer, after all.

[This is how you go blind. Go for the cheese.]