shellphones | text | un: astudyinviolet

Type:Text
Sender ID: astudyinviolet (Sherlock Holmes)
To: public
Subject: Magic: deciding, gaining, learning
Warnings: none atm

[ Perhaps this was inevitable given recent events and Sherlock's insecurities about his worth and ability to have purpose in this world. ]

I have a small series of questions to ask those who have gone from not having magic to having magic. Of particular interest are those who have only gained magic from this world, but I will not turn away answers from others either.

The reason I ask these questions is I come from a world where magic is usually a trick using sleight of hand and obfuscation. I inherited my brother's notebooks covering magical theories of this world, but they do not go into the more practical applications or personal aspects of magic. Surely the tattoo is only a single step among many.

How did you decide on what magic to learn?
How did you learn to control that magic?
Do you feel who you are fundamentally has changed? How so?
Have you created any contingency plans in case something goes wrong with your magic or yourself?

[ He... really hopes no one reads too deeply into that last one, but it is a worry Sherlock has given family history and having others within his head before.

And because he learned from Alhaitham's survey... ]

I understand that such a topic might be very personal. Respond anonymously if you desire and only what you are comfortable with sharing. If you'd rather meet in person, I can arrange that as well.

S.H.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Unfortunately. Though I suppose someone would take advantage without restrictions.

(They would. They would take advantage.)

Or to the detriment of their health.

[ Either madness or trying to use so much that the body shuts down. ]

I don't think limitations will prevent that.

(They can overexert themself and injure their brain just fine with their powers crippled, after all.)

Indeed, but that also applies to people with weapons or poisons. Limiting access to them is still a deterrent and more than none at all.

Weapons and poisons generally aren't a part of a person's body.

(Not that that's ever stopped people from forcing limits on them. They don't have a right to bodily autonomy.)

No, but neither is magic in this case.

For those who aren't using tattoos to unlock magic they were born with, maybe.

[ Sherlock fails to see how that changes anything. The tattoo is still a limitation. Someone with powers already won't be gaining new powers from this world because of the tattoo is still a deterrent. ]

Have you anything more to say, or are you simply being pedantic now?

I'm saying that I can't access the full extent of the powers I was born with.

(They did say that they were weaker earlier.)

For someone whose username references the most famous of fictional detectives, your comprehension leaves something to be desired.

(They've read A Study in Scarlet. The classics were required parts of the Farm curriculum.)

[ Sherlock is about to type that the anonymous person is not comprehending what he is saying when he sees the insult. He knows what the person refers too. A heat rises inside him. He hasn't sleep well in months. He's surrounded by water, one of his worst fears. He has questioned his worth and sanity and faced numerous failures which weigh upon him. He has not been in top form for a long while.

Against all better judgement, Sherlock switches to video.

What appears on the screen isn't the 30-something experienced detective known from stories. They share the dark hair and grey eyes, but this one is a pretty, baby-faced young man of 23 years glaring at the shellphone. (And behind his shoulder happens to be a deerstalker.) ]

I am Sherlock Holmes! I'm not a fictional character, not even in the sense of being in the novel my dear John Watson wishes to write someday. I am still establishing my consulting detective practice. I have no world renown back in my world.

I am not the Sherlock Holmes who the Mycroft Holmes here called his younger brother. I am not the other Sherlock Holmes who also opposed a Lord Rochester in my world. I'm not even Holman, partner to Watkinson, from that bloody awful book written by Wallace de Aurum. I do not know who any of those Sherlock Holmes are!

Do forgive me for being the Sherlock Holmes no one recognizes. I do not know why there are so many people who share my name and other facets of my life, but what purpose do I have to lie when I already fail to match anyone's expectations of who Sherlock Holmes is?

[ His voice quiets. ]

I only know how to be the Sherlock Holmes who's me.

[ Why is that never good enough for anyone? For himself? Why are there better versions of himself out there? What is he doing wrong? ]

(Meanwhile, Sidestep remains stubbornly anonymous, though they do pause to process this.

...Fuck.

This has really messed this guy up, hasn't it? They're glad Hollow Ground isn't here, no need to deal with their own issues of overlapping identity with their dead sibling.)

You mean that wasn't a pretentious code name?

(Of course, he could be lying right now, but that freakout didn't look fabricated. Now that they think back to meeting him in person, his mind didn't feel like he was telling an untruth. They just assumed, didn't they?

Fuck.)

Edited 2024-08-09 07:10 (UTC)

The purpose of a false identity is to blend in or obscure. What logical reason would there be to use a false name for the entirety of my stay? No one from my world is here. I did not know other worlds knew of me until I met a man who both was and wasn't my own brother. Only after that did I learn that Sherlock Holmes was also a famous fictional character.

The fact that I cannot match anyone's expectations of Sherlock Holmes puts more attention upon me. It obscures nothing. There is no reason to continue using that name unless it was truly mine.

[ He doesn't even know exactly what his username references. Is it his mother? The flower? The color? He can guess that perhaps "a study in violet" could refer to how he learned the truth about his mother on Cordona, but that still suggests nothing to him about a great detective. ]

(Well shit. They're lucky he's too upset to figure anything out.)

You look like him. People probably aren't expecting you to be so much younger: the book character was thirty something when he met Watson.

Even "true" stories rarely depict people as they actually are.

(Sidestep was weird, skittish, and swore like a sailor. Nothing like what the press and the movies made them out to be.)

[ Sherlock is upset, and someone can see the exact point when Sherlock reads Watson's name for he turns a shade paler. ]

Watson is not a book character either. He's real, and I met him last year when I was twenty-two.

[ He's not like Jon. He exists outside of Sherlock's head. He's not a mental fabrication. He exists in reality. John is real. ]

Stop comparing me to someone I'm not. Judge me on my own merit, not my brother's, not some other Sherlock Holmes. I'm my own person!

It's not like the fake me the press created was the real thing either.

We're probably all fictional characters in someone's world.

(Yeah whatever buddy, must be nice knowing you're the living, breathing, human.)

[ As someone who has trouble knowing what's reality or not, along with numerous other patterns he has recognized back home, Sherlock finds no comfort in the anonymous user's words. He cannot stomach any more of this conversation.

Without saying anything further, he shuts off his shellphone. ]

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cw: 4th Wall touching, identity crisis

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