text | un: astudyinviolet

[astudyinviolet]

Type:Text
Sender ID: astudyinviolet (Sherlock Holmes)
To: public
Subject: Magic: deciding, gaining, learning
Warnings: none atm

[ Perhaps this was inevitable given recent events and Sherlock's insecurities about his worth and ability to have purpose in this world. ]

I have a small series of questions to ask those who have gone from not having magic to having magic. Of particular interest are those who have only gained magic from this world, but I will not turn away answers from others either.

The reason I ask these questions is I come from a world where magic is usually a trick using sleight of hand and obfuscation. I inherited my brother's notebooks covering magical theories of this world, but they do not go into the more practical applications or personal aspects of magic. Surely the tattoo is only a single step among many.

• How did you decide on what magic to learn?
• How did you learn to control that magic?
• Do you feel who you are fundamentally has changed? How so?
• Have you created any contingency plans in case something goes wrong with your magic or yourself?

[ He... really hopes no one reads too deeply into that last one, but it is a worry Sherlock has given family history and having others within his head before.

And because he learned from Alhaitham's survey... ]

I understand that such a topic might be very personal. Respond anonymously if you desire and only what you are comfortable with sharing. If you'd rather meet in person, I can arrange that as well.

S.H.

Comments

[scooba]

Okay then um....

It is a fairytale and based on a children's story so...

I just want you to be ready for it.

[astudyinviolet]

Is it a children's story from your world?

[scooba]

No, it's more that I written the story to be like one. Fairytales were something that I loved growing up so...I thought I should write one.

[astudyinviolet]

If that is the case, then I shouldn't need additional context from your world to understand it.

Be prepared for a wall of text

[scooba]

No, you don't. Then, here's the story

Once upon a time, in a town not too far away from the ocean, it was a place where turtles and penguins come to visit often. However, it lurked a secret. There lived a dragon in a nearby cave that threaten to destroy the town. Ever since the dragon's roar was heard, the villagers were scared and nobody dared to visit the town. Fearing what would happen next, two brave creatures went to the cave.

A turtle and his penguin knight went there to see what the dragon wanted. Of course, as they went into the cave, they found something interesting. They thought the dragon wanted a fight but seems to not be the case. The dragon was holding a secret. It appeared that it was guarding a magical item that would grant anyone whatever wish the heart desired.

At first, the turtle and the penguin were selfish. They wanted the dragon gone for their own sake and to make their town the richest place in the world. However, as the dragon sensed the darkness within their hearts, that's when he took a step forward with a growl. Upon realizing their dark wishes, they were rather surprised at the dragon's actions.

"What is it that you wish for?" The penguin asked. After all, if this dragon had been guarding the cave, then surely he had a wish of his own. "What is it that you seek?"

Not knowing what else to say, the dragon found himself at a loss. Staring at the two creatures, he simply remarked with "Whatever it takes for him to leave the cave."

...And that's about as far as I got.

gives you a wall of text back

[astudyinviolet]

[ There will be a noticeable delay between receiving the story beginning and Sherlock's reply. He's giving it a lot of thought because Freminet wants both honest but not to be judged too harshly. ]

As this is a work in progress, I will refrain from commenting on the technical aspects of style and word choice. Those are bound to change during revisions.

[ That saves him from having to comment on that. Freminet is literate, but Sherlock doesn't know how much schooling he's had. Attending a school or not is no sign of how knowledgeable a person is. As for the content, Sherlock draws from three sources: the very analytical study of those romance novels (missing the forest for the trees), Shakespeare, and John Watson. He still draws from his deductive reasoning despite all that.... ]

You have the basis for a story. However, it starts fast. I think you could strengthen it by introducing the turtle and his penguin knight more before they ventured to meet the dragon. You could lay down the evidence that they would have a greedy wish or their bravery to confront the dragon. You could even lay down some evidence for the dragon's ability to sense the darkness in people's hearts. Allow readers to understand their motivation and character. Watson described each character at some length to bring out their appearance and personality when he wrote. I noted that fictional books often tried to vividly set the scene using the senses rather than give straight facts. To use a real world example, I can look at a person's way of dress and deduce traits from that. A tailored suit can speak of wealth or a desire to look fashionable. A ruined one can speak of poverty or a lack of care towards appearances.

Then, you can follow the evidence you laid down to their conclusion, which appears to lead towards internal conflict for the dragon and possible the turtle and his penguin knight. Do they fight? Do they come to understand each other? Does something else happen? The evidence you've presented will allow whichever path you chose to make sense to the reader.

The story seems to be set up as one big metaphor with a lesson at the end. I feel that was a common element for fairy tales: a lesson to be learned or a warning against acting a certain way. You are on your way to capturing that aspect if that is your intent. Is bravery to be admired? Should people avoid greed? Does it teach readers to gather evidence before passing judgement? You could work backwards from such a question and then present the evidence that would led to an answer. That's how you could continue your story from here.

[ Please no one kill Sherlock over this. He's trying to actually be helpful yet kind! ]

[scooba]

[That certainly was a lot to read. However, he was willing to take in whatever criticism he was given as he did want to get better. Who knows, maybe when he gets back home, he could start writing under a pen name...]

I see. I was hoping for a story that would be easy to read and leave things up to interpretation. I heard that would leave people to think about the characters motivations since I wanted to be more interesting. I didn't want the story to be too long as I was afraid it would lose the reader's interests. However, I'll keep that in mind when I rewrite it.

To be honest, the story is more about how bravery and courage is what makes a person stronger. If they continue to hide in the shadows, nothing will get done. I was hoping the darkness within the penguin and the turtle was a way to show how cowardly they could be. It showed that they wanted the easy way out. But I suppose I can't be vague in these kind of stories...

Thank you though, I appreciate it.

[astudyinviolet]

[ Why does he have a feeling he was no help at all despite his honest attempt? It is about on par with his actions as of late. ]

Perhaps we are going about this the wrong way. Are you familiar with the idea of learning from a master?

[scooba]

Um....yes? I'm sorry, did I upset you?

[astudyinviolet]

[ He upset himself. It's fine. He does that a lot. ]

Have you found stories from here which are similar to what you want to create? Analyzing how they construct and tell their stories could give you a framework to style your story on.

[scooba]

Not really, that's why I thought about creating a story of my own. Do you have any recommendations? I would love to look into them.

[astudyinviolet]

I do not, but it is my experience that if you stay in a related section of the bookstore long enough, people will give you recommendations.

[ Sherlock, that was because you were being obvious as hell at trying to be sneaky that you might as well have shouted it in the bookstore. ]

[scooba]

Oh, I see.

Then I'll go and see if I can do that. Thank you for the advice, I just...don't want to let you down again.

[astudyinviolet]

[ ...? ]

When did you do that?

[scooba]

A while back?

When I was trying to find something to write about...?

[astudyinviolet]

Strange, I don't seem to recall it, so cast that away from your mind.

[ If it was something major, Sherlock would have remembered and possibly held a grudge. ]

[scooba]

Oh.

Did I make you mad? I'm sorry about that...!

[No really, he didn't know that such a thing would make him upset!!]

[astudyinviolet]

No, you did not. The only emotion I feel towards you at the moment is confusion for I do not know what you refer to. I am not mad or let down.

[scooba]

Oh...

Uh, is there anything I can do to make you not feel that way?

[astudyinviolet]

[ This has become an echo chamber of low self worth. Someone help these two. ]

Perhaps we should move on from this subject.

[scooba]

...

Perhaps.

...Sorry.

[Because awkward is what awkward does.]

[astudyinviolet]

Do you intend to draw pictures for your story? From the books I've seen in passing, they contain some illustrations.

[scooba]

No, I didn't.

I'm not a very good artist so I thought writing a story would be good enough.

[astudyinviolet]

Ah, maybe I could help in that aspect if you do not mind realistic portrayals.

[ He at least can do that better than give writing advice. ]

[scooba]

Oh no, I don't.

Any help I can get would be greatly appreciated.

....Thank you again for your help!