001 🔥 TEXT - WANTED: PLUSH TOY MAKER

[headhunt]

Type: Text
Sender ID: headhunt (Karlach)
To: Public
Subject: WANTED: PLUSH TOY MAKER
Warnings: N/A

Hey-
Can any of you make plush toys? I can bring you the materials.

Can work out payment too.

Like this:

( attached to the message is "artwork" of a teddy bear plush (or at least her best attempt at it), drawn by the hands of the very barbarian who once to used terrorise the hells. )

Let me know! Thanks!

Comments

[headhunt]

( karlach doesn't share in the same opinion. as far as she's concerned, it isn't okay and it doesn't balance out just because things have worked out for the better in the now.

she lets out an exhale, fire still chasing along her breath. )

That doesn't make it OK.

( karlach tells him with a little squeeze. )

You're more than what you look like or the destiny that's attached to you.

( emphatically. )

Fuck destiny, right? We make our own future.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[Darin doesn't know what to say at first. Logically, he knows Karlach is right. Just because he's where he is now, it doesn't mean that everything he endured was justified. But...it's still complicated for him to admit as much knowing now what he is.]

[He's supposed to destroy his world. He might end up destroying this one. Is it really okay to just...act as if everything is alright?]

[But the sentiments Karlach is trying to convey draw a soft, honest smile on his face.]

That's the other great thing about being a smith. If I don't like something, I can just forge something different.

[headhunt]

( now that's when karlach lets out a little laugh. )

No, that's the great part about being alive.

( she offers darin one last squeeze before pulling away, holding him by the shoulders. )

As long as you're alive, you can take fate into your own hands. As long as we're alive.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[It's...so weird. He's never met someone who could regurgitate his own words right back at him. Someone who matched his hot-blooded energy. He'd always wondered what it would be like if Dromas had survived and he had a brother to match his energy to.]

[Maybe this is what it was like.]

[A grin widens across his face.]

Now you're speaking my language, Karlach! Anyone or anything that thinks they can take these lives of ours away is going to have to pry them from our hands!

[He holds a hand up for her to clasp in solidarity.]

Gods above it's good to meet someone who gets it!

[headhunt]

( what a complete lunatic.

karlach grins before letting out a loud laugh. )

I can't believe you want to do this twice.

( while having her gloves on now made her safe to touch, it didn't erase the fact that she had just scorched the fuck out of his skin moments ago. yet here darin is, ready with his hand extended.

she lets her own hands fall away from his shoulders, taking a step back, before grabbing the offered hand with equal enthusiasm. )

You're a real freak, you know? But I'm glad we met. Glad to be friends.

( because of course. he'd already made it clear that he's a friend.

using their joined hands, she uses it to tug him forward slightly as she leans down to leer. )

So, what's next? You wanna draw me? Fondle my chest a little?

1/??? LOL HOLY SHIT

[forgeabettertomorrow]

['Glad to be friends.']

[He's still not used to that idea. Of having friends. Never in all of his life would he think he'd make friends with someone with similar ties to fiends as him but he might even be able to save her life with his skills! It's like a dream come true!]

[He's so thrilled that Karlach's question doesn't register right away.]

Yeah, actually if I can sketch the engine so I have a better idea of—

2/???

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[Wait.]

3/???

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[Did she just—]

4/???

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[Naturally since the offer was made he very stupidly just looks at her chest because he hasn't processed exactly what she just asked him.]

5/???

[forgeabettertomorrow]

6/???

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[Give him a second.]

7/???

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[Okay the question's finally made contact with the brain cell aaaaaannnnd...]

8/???

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[He flushes SCARLET]

9/???

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[He tries to jump back but his hand is clasped with Karlach's so sorry Karlach you're both getting yanked across the forge against the far wall with an insane amount of panic strength.]

10/10 DONE

[forgeabettertomorrow]

D-DO I WANT TO—

WHAT?! NO!!! I DON'T—

THAT'S NOT EVEN NECESSARY IS IT?!

[The poor guy is bright red.]

[headhunt]

( karlach gets tugged forward a quick few inches before her hand releases, letting go of the panicked blue rocket that bounds off away from her. she couldn't have held on even if she wanted to, her strength suddenly lax as she starts howling with laughter.

she almost thinks that her knees might buckle underneath her. )

Hahahahahaha!! Hahahaha! Darin—

( snort, wheeze, cackle. )

Are you . . . ( hahaha! laugh, wheeze. ) Are you frightened of tits? Hahahaha!

[forgeabettertomorrow]

WHAT?! NO!! I AM NOT SCARED OF—

I HAPPEN TO LIKE THEM VERY MUCH BUT I'M TRYING TO TAKE YOUR LIFE SERIOUSLY!

[Darin is far more insulted that Karlach would insinuate that he's scared of tits than anything else. Only ghosts scare him. Ghosts and being open and honest about himself with others! But not tits!]

[headhunt]

( a gasping, wheezing noise as karlach tries to catch her breath enough to answer. )

And what's. . . what's not—hahaha!!—serious about my great set of tits?!

( the next thing she was going to say was something of explanation, but she can't get the words out.

she lets out another laugh, pressing the side of her hand against her eyebrows in a vain attempt to regain her composure. )

You don't wanna see? Hahaha!

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[Gods above now Darin's just ranting and raving because he's so flustered but also his pride???]

I DIDN'T SAY THAT! [Look, he does! But he's never been propositioned before!]

And I'm glad you take them seriously! They deserve to be taken very seriously! EVERYONE SHOULD BE SERIOUS ABOUT THEM!!

[He's lost the plot completely.]

You're clearly just screwing with me anyway?! So can we get back on task?!

[headhunt]

( it takes a few moments for karlach to get all of the hyena-like laughter out of system. gods above and below, she couldn't remember the last time she has laughed this hard. )

Friend—

( she starts, vaguely waving a hand. )

I'm not. My heart's underneath my fantastic tit-tays.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

I'm aware of where your heart is! I didn't take this job to scope them out!

[Darin drags a hand down his face, clearly flustered.]

Seriously! How the hell would you like it if I asked if you wanted to see how big my hammer was?!

[headhunt]

( WRONG AUDIENCE, DARIN.

her face perks up even further, if such a thing were possible. it almost seemed as if her pointy ears were even more alert. )

Yeah? How big is your hammer?

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[DARIN IS BAD AT THIS.]

[He thrusts a defiant finger Karlach's way. He's not embarrassed, just incredibly stupid. Why back track when you can double down?]

BIG ENOUGH!!

[headhunt]

Are we talking bigger or smaller than average?

( she makes an obscene hand gesture. )

[forgeabettertomorrow]

...I have no idea I don't exactly go around asking every guy I meet to whip it out to compare?

[Karlach has successfully derailed his train of thought because Darin literally has no idea how he measures up. He's never cared.]

I mean...I think I'm...proportionate??