shellphones | Video | Parents Suck~

Type: Video
Sender ID: nutsornothing
To: Public
Subject: Why do parents suck so much?
Warnings: Mentions of death.

I'm back. Did ya miss me?

[Standing upon the water's edge of Eltrut's beach, Denji can be found skipping rocks into the depths of the ocean proper. His focus on the crashing waves with his bare feet absorbed by the rushing waters, a stoic expression washed over his features as he sighs solemnly.]

So who else had shitty parents growing up, huh?

[A small pause before tossing another rock into the sea, plopping himself down onto the ground before turning his full attention towards the feed.]

I don't remember much about my mom she died when I was real young from a heart condition but at least she wasn't around to see how big of a prick my dad turned out to be. He was a real piece of crap all my life until he crooked and left me with his problems too.

[Denji wasn't about to tell the masses what actually happened to his father after finding out none too recently but that was besides the point here. A half amused burst of laughter erupts as he tries to lighten the mood a bit grinning fiendishly.]

I can't be the only one around here with an asshole for a parent so what's all your stories?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Tilting his head a bit curiously a familiar shit eating grin slowly grows wide over his lips.]

Soooooo....Is that a yes?

Can you blow people up?! No wait...Be the world's biggest dick head!?

[Denji doesn't forget what happened last time they ventured out together having kicked him square in the junk and leaving him.]

Pretty sure the latter one isn't a power.

(Still not saying what they got. He saw them being a hero in their memories, so they can't help that, but at least he clearly has no idea what their power is.

It'd almost be worth it to tell him. Rub it in that he got beat by someone without a combat oriented boost.

But no. Not now.)

Edited 2024-12-11 03:29 (UTC)

You sure about that one buddy? You could even be the asshole devil in disguise for all I know!

[A cocky grin plastered over his face. Just because Denji had no idea about Sidestep's actual powers didn't stop him from being an asshole about the latter teasing.]

Well, it is fun beating the shit out of you.

(Maybe rubbing it in that they've managed to land multiple nut shots and beat him in a fight.)

That was ONE TIME and you played dirty! You're just lucky I played by the rules and didn't go all Chainsaws on your ass.

[Denji grumbling a bit with a roll of his eyes. He could very well have just shifted into his hybrid counterpart and chopped the others arms and legs off leaving them a limbless husk but he wasn't a sore sport this time.]

We both know I didn't do anything you wouldn't do.

(Not their fault he got it wrong when he went for his own "below the belt" hit.)

And I've taken down scarier things than chainsaws.

(The closest they've gotten to straight out admitting they were a superhero, once.)

[A wry grin quickly forms over his lips at that.]

Heh- You're not wrong there.

[Cocking a brow curiously at the latter part.]

Oh yeah? Like what?!

It's really funny how people keep guessing wrong on that one. (Denji was just the first in a long line of idiots assuming they're a guy or have those parts.

As for the question, well...

...

...Sigh.)

Well, I took down the "god" of a cult once.

For real? Not to brag or anything. I was worshipped as a God of my own church called the Chainsaw Man Church.

Cult of Green Sky.

(They don't elaborate.)

I don't think having a cult is something to be proud of...

Cult of Green Sky? That's a pretty lame name compared to the Church of Chainsaw Man!

[Blinking wide eyed, Denji cannot help but laugh hysterically with a shake of his head.]

Why not!? Having people think you're a God is pretty sweet even if they turned out to be a bunch of assholes who were just trying to make everyone scared of me so that I'd become more powerful.

Because it means you've surrounded yourself with insane assholes who see you as a god instead of a person and are likely to do considerably worse than just make people scared of you if they think it'll further their goals?

And it also shows that you're the sort of person who will lie to and work with those sort of people to satisfy your own ego.

[He's going to stop you right there because the last thing he would do is work with those pricks after what they subjected him, gritting his teeth with a look of pure disdain washed over his face now.]

Just because I want to be worshipped like a God doesn't mean I liked any of them! Ain't no fucking way I'd work with those pricks they took everything away from me that I worked so hard for!

[They killed his dogs, cat, burned his house down and last but certainly not least murdered his little sister who until just recently before returning here to Escordvi had been searching fervently to find after being separated due to the chaos they ensued.]

Then why are you bragging about them? That's like showing off being traumatized or something.

(Is he really that fucked up that any attention, even assholes trying to hurt and exploit him, is a positive?

...Fuck. That would explain a lot.)

I mean who wouldn't want to be praised as a God?!

[Yes; He's that delusional sorry Sidestep.]

Edited 2025-01-01 22:50 (UTC)

I'm not sure being praised by people like that should be flattering.

Maybe if it was someone cool.

Who said I cared about that? I just want people to think I'm badass!

This seems less badass and more desperate.

[Denji sticks out his tongue with a look of pure disdain.]

Pfft. Whatever man!! You just wish you had people who worshipped you like I did even if they were crazy bastards who tried to kill me.

Hard pass.

(Herald idolizing them back in their world is bad enough already!)

Video | Parents Suck~

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