Scrambled Egg Zone Act I

[reneggadetinkerer]

Type: VIDEO
Sender ID: reneggadetinkerer (Dr. Robotnik)
To: General Public
Subject: Introductions
Warnings: ~THEATRICS~

[The first thing you might notice on the screen is a bulbous pink nose. A nose from under which a massive, aburn, magnificent mustache extends off to either side like the bristles of two enormous brushes. Only then might you notice the glint of dark spectacles completely enshrouding the eyes of the one beginning this broadcast. As he pulls his shellphone away, you get the full picture; a rotund man that simply exudes the aura of a mad genius.]

Attention! As loathsome as it is to admit this, I appear to be stranded on this overly moist macrocosm like the rest of you. The accommodations I've found myself in are abhorrent, frankly, and I refuse to live like a deckswab. As such, I'm taking it upon myself to begin searching for more appropriate facilities so that I might continue my work. If anyone out there knows of any...let's say...recently vacated warehouses or factories...or, better yet, an island that I may lay claim to as my own, I can repay you with the knowledge that you've helped secure the great Dr. Ivo Robotnik a place where he can properly work. For the betterment of...everyone.

Apparently. Pah.

Oh, and if there's anyone out there versed in this "magitech" I keep hearing about, make yourself known! I'll have you disclose your findings so that I might better ascertain the nature of this technological power. Better yet, if you have anything worth disassembling, bring it to me.

But don't expect compensation!

Comments

[spinsandneedles]

You're priorities are so wild. If I drown, I won't be around to stop you from doing all your horrible stuff!

[reneggadetinkerer]

And I'd be forever vexed at the idea that I was never able to defeat you.

No, Sonic. When you die, it won't be because of your rash actions. It won't be because of some freak accident. Nature will not claim you.

It will all be orchestrated by my hand. Your demise, the lead up, every facet of your downfall will be plotted to the finest detail.

Annihilating you will be like building a watch. With precision movements and hundreds of intricate. Imperceptible. Parts.

One that I will hold and control and wind oh so carefully until the hands reach midnight and your time is up.

[spinsandneedles]

Okay, Boomer.

[Of course Sonic doesn't expect this to ever happen. He is far too cool and too fast to play right into Eggman's intricate watch making plans. Definitely for sure.]

[reneggadetinkerer]

THE ONLY THING 'BOOMING' AROUND HERE WILL BE YOU WHEN I CARPET BOMB YOU OFF OF THIS WATERLOGGED WASTELAND!

[spinsandneedles]

Don't threaten me with a good time! Dodging explosions is a great way to keep my reflexes sharp!

[reneggadetinkerer]

Yes, dodge all you like. In fact, I prefer it when you dodge.

It mans that whatever's behind you gets to be my new target.

[spinsandneedles]

Here? Let's be real, it's probably just gonna be water. Have fun bombing the whales, I guess.

[reneggadetinkerer]

Yes, I imagine it would be quite difficult to miss something so large.

Such as a Leviathan.

[You know. The giant things that everyone lives on.]

[spinsandneedles]

Okay? Then maybe keep your nukes in check. Duh.

Or just don't be an idiot and play nice for once.

[reneggadetinkerer]

Yes yes, whatever you say you Blue Buffoon.

[Sonic might know that tone. That's the tone of him moving on from this conversation because he already has ideas.]

[spinsandneedles]

[Oh yeah, he knows it well enough. And honestly, he peaked with the Boomer comment, so Sonic's good here.]

Uh huh. Just don't make me come over there.

[SONIC HANGS UP FIRST!!!!!!!!]