oh good, another hedgehog

[spinsandneedles]

Type: Video
Sender ID: spinsandneedles (Sonic)
To: General Public
Subject: new phone who dis
Warnings: furries

[Sup buckaroos, this strange looking blue creature pops into focus after fiddling with his shellphone (a pun that he absolutely appreciates, good job whoever invented these). Despite the fact that he's stuck here on this weirdo wet planet with all this damn water, he seems to be pretty cheerful!]

There we go, I think... I'm just gonna assume this is recording-- Aaaand, hi everybody! My name's Sonic, I'm new here, and I'm pretty eager to dig into whatever's going on here and help out however I can! If you need something done fast, I'm your guy. Pssst, this is how you make an introduction other hedgehog, take notes.

Anyway, nice to meet everyone! And I do mean everyone. I get around real quick and I have no chill, you can't avoid me forever! That'ssss about all I've got for now-- Oh! So, asking for a friend, does anyone happen to have any spare like, pool noodles or y'know, floaty things. That float in water? I-- that is, my real friend that I have that I'm asking for kinda swims like a boulder. And this planet is like, really wet? Sooooo.

Yeah! I'll catch you all later.

Comments

[thearchangel]

I... don't think we're "like lizards".

I'm not sure what we are, here. It's not like we came here through space.

[spinsandneedles]

No, no, I mean the reptiles.

I guess it doesn't really matter that much? We're all just stuck here together.

[thearchangel]

Sometimes it matters. To some people.

Frankly, I don't care so long as we can figure out how to get out of here again.

[spinsandneedles]

Yeah, that's how I see it. Speakin' of, has there been any like, progress as far as that goes?

[thearchangel]

Good news... there's a way.

Bad news, it's apparently at the bottom of the ocean.

[spinsandneedles]

Ugh, of course it is! Do they at least know like, the general location? Like, on a map?

[thearchangel]

No, no they don't.

Not even close.

[spinsandneedles]

Cool, okay, so we have bottom of the ocean. That narrows it down toooooo, what like, 80 percent of the planet that it could possibly be at. I dunno, I'm bad at math.

[thearchangel]

Given this seems to be a planet with no landmass... I'm going to say 99%.

[THANKS GARRUS.]

[spinsandneedles]

[THANKS INDEED, GARRUS]

I was trying to be optimistic. This planet sucks.

[thearchangel]

Hard to be optimistic when one wrong step means you drown.

[spinsandneedles]

...You're harshing my vibe so hard right now, but you're not wrong.

[thearchangel]

You know, I get that a lot.

[spinsandneedles]

Can't imagine why.

Well, this has been enlightening, but I should probably go resume my quest for puncture-proof flotation devices. I'll let you know what I find.

[thearchangel]

Good luck. If you find anything, I'd be interested to hear about it.