video

[sos_pilot]

Type: Video
Sender ID:perfpilot (Della Duck)
To: Public
Subject: Bad Guy Warnings
Warnings: N/A

Hey there, party people! If we haven't met yet, name's Della Duck!

So after witnessing some shenanigans on the network, some more obvious than others, I thought I'd do everyone here a service and warn them about potential people from my world. If this place can bring in bad guys, it's best to be prepared. So, here we go!

[ to wit, she begins holding up crude crayon drawings of the following people. ]

Mark Beaks! So, he's technically really smart with tech stuff, but he prefers to steal other people's work and claim it as his own. Solution - distract him with how few followers he has on the network, then punch him in the face.

Next, Ma Beagle! Head of the Beagle Boys gang! Don't let her height fool you, she packs a punch and can rob banks in her sleep. Solution - disarm the purse, it's got all kind of weapons in there, then punch her in the face.

Then, Don Karnage! Leader of the Sky Pirates, he might feel right at home here. Good swordsman, better singer. Solution - challenge him to a singing competition, then punch him in the face.

Last, and worst, is Magica De Spell. Sorceress supreme, and pure evil to the bone. Petty streak that can and has lasted for decades. Solution - break her magic scepter, then punch her in the face.

Now, my world has WAY more bad guys than that, but these are the most dangerous, in my opinion. And hey, feel free to share deets about the baddies from your world! We're all in this together!

Comments

[sos_pilot]

Pretty much! The only time we've ever seen you "humans" is by a wish from a genie, and boy, it was NOT a good first impressions.

[telepathicignorance]

Guess we'd be pretty ugly to you guys.

(And possibly evil and monstrous, depending on the genie wish.)

So is every animal in your world a person or...?

[sos_pilot]

If you're asking if we have Duck People and the little guys you see at ponds, yes we do.

[telepathicignorance]

Huh. Neat.

[sos_pilot]

is it??? i mean that's just completely normal to me

[telepathicignorance]

My world is mostly just humans and the little guys, so it's not to me. The closest thing to a "human animal" is a monkey.

(Perhaps, knowing that, she can see the resemblance, though yeah, they're not nearly as close as say, duck people are to ducks.)

[sos_pilot]

"the little guys"???

[telepathicignorance]

You called non person ducks the little guys you see at ponds.

(It was just a silly way to refer to animals, playing off what she said earlier.)

[sos_pilot]

oh right lulz

i was kinda picturing little versions of you swimming in bonds and pecking at bread

[telepathicignorance]

That is a funny mental image.

(Little human faced things floating in a pond like ducks, with their butts sticking up in the air? Weird. Also hilarious.

...If it were real, they'd have to take a picture to show, well... the Rangers aren't here with them, but there are plenty of people that are here that it would be funny to show them to.)

[sos_pilot]

imagine seeing a little version of yourself in a zoo!!!!

CW: memories of imprisonment

[telepathicignorance]

(...It's probably good she can't see the way they freeze at that.

Zoo. Cage. Cell. Punished. Left alone. Left to die, once they'd gotten all they thought they could from them, but even then, when they survived they weren't granted any freedom.

They nearly fumble the shellphone. Hands shaking, it will be several minutes before a reply.)

Pretty funny, yeah.

[sos_pilot]

[ don't think she didn't notice that pause. ]

you busy over there, dude?

[telepathicignorance]

Something like that.

(They'd rather she think they're busy and distracted than tell her what's actually going on.)

[sos_pilot]

[ In that case... ]

would you like a funny distraction?

[telepathicignorance]

Sure.

[sos_pilot]

there's an enemy I didn't list here, because he's as dumb as bricks and not really someone to worry about, but he's as consistent as the others

so imagine a guy even shorter than I am with a fake scottish accent and tries to do everything super scottish even though he isn't

also he is SUPER OBSESSED with sharks

every single plan of his needs to involve sharks somehow even if it makes no sense

[telepathicignorance]

Wow. Your villains sound terrible. In the deeply incompetent way.

...This guy also a duck?

[sos_pilot]

Yup! But then we live in Duckburg.

So. Kinda of hard not to run into them.

[telepathicignorance]

Makes sense.

[sos_pilot]

Does this mean you guys have a Humanburg somewhere?

[telepathicignorance]

Not that I've heard of. It's basically all humans so everywhere could be humanburg.

[sos_pilot]

All humans? That's it?

Sounds kinda boring. We don't only have ducks in our world. We've got beagles and pelicans and parrots and roosters and my cousin is half goose.

[telepathicignorance]

Something like that.

(They're not gonna tell her about Re-Genes.)

Half goose?

[sos_pilot]

Yup! His mom was a duck, his dad a goose, they made Gladstone Gander - someone I love deeply as family, and someone I dread seeing as a person.