video

[sos_pilot]

Type: Video
Sender ID:perfpilot (Della Duck)
To: Public
Subject: Bad Guy Warnings
Warnings: N/A

Hey there, party people! If we haven't met yet, name's Della Duck!

So after witnessing some shenanigans on the network, some more obvious than others, I thought I'd do everyone here a service and warn them about potential people from my world. If this place can bring in bad guys, it's best to be prepared. So, here we go!

[ to wit, she begins holding up crude crayon drawings of the following people. ]

Mark Beaks! So, he's technically really smart with tech stuff, but he prefers to steal other people's work and claim it as his own. Solution - distract him with how few followers he has on the network, then punch him in the face.

Next, Ma Beagle! Head of the Beagle Boys gang! Don't let her height fool you, she packs a punch and can rob banks in her sleep. Solution - disarm the purse, it's got all kind of weapons in there, then punch her in the face.

Then, Don Karnage! Leader of the Sky Pirates, he might feel right at home here. Good swordsman, better singer. Solution - challenge him to a singing competition, then punch him in the face.

Last, and worst, is Magica De Spell. Sorceress supreme, and pure evil to the bone. Petty streak that can and has lasted for decades. Solution - break her magic scepter, then punch her in the face.

Now, my world has WAY more bad guys than that, but these are the most dangerous, in my opinion. And hey, feel free to share deets about the baddies from your world! We're all in this together!

Comments

[telepathicignorance]

Not that I've heard of. It's basically all humans so everywhere could be humanburg.

[sos_pilot]

All humans? That's it?

Sounds kinda boring. We don't only have ducks in our world. We've got beagles and pelicans and parrots and roosters and my cousin is half goose.

[telepathicignorance]

Something like that.

(They're not gonna tell her about Re-Genes.)

Half goose?

[sos_pilot]

Yup! His mom was a duck, his dad a goose, they made Gladstone Gander - someone I love deeply as family, and someone I dread seeing as a person.

[telepathicignorance]

That kind of cousin?

(They've interacted with Ortega's family enough to be familiar with the concept of annoying relatives but it's not like thry have any themself-oh wait, they guess they do now)

[sos_pilot]

Yeah. He's extremely lucky. And I'm not saying this out of spite or jealousy, he is LITERALLY REALLY LUCKY.

The man has never had to hold down a job or even open a door.

[telepathicignorance]

So a luck power?

(A twinge of annoyance at the concept. They have no luck, because people with luck aren't Re-Genes.)

Is the dislike more jealousy based or is he an insufferable douche about it?

[sos_pilot]

the second thing

he CAN be a good guy SOMETIMES but boy you don't see that often

again i love him truly and sincerely and if he was ever in danger i'd help him out no question

but if he showed up here in a golden yacht i would be tempted to throw him overboard

[telepathicignorance]

...I'm guessing his luck would prevent you from succeeding at that.

[sos_pilot]

yeah, i'd probably trip on rope that was luckily right in front of him, or if i pushed him off he'd luckily land on a floatie ring that was exactly where he was gunna be and he'd also find 20 dollars

[telepathicignorance]

And then you'd walk into a pole or something because his luck punished you for trying to attack him?

(Look, edgelord is edgy. In their mind, of course the universe would retaliate for anyone daring to hurt its golden child. It just seems like common sense to them.)

[sos_pilot]

actually i never thought about the 'punishment factor' before

i've only ever really focused it on him how it benefited him

[telepathicignorance]

Makes sense.