anon ⊗ dating advice

[flamekthunder]

Type: Text
Sender ID: anonymous (Eustace)
To: Everyone
Subject: first date help!!
Warnings: none

uwaaa we're going on our first date but i've never been on one before!! what should i do?? we're going to the dragon's gale but like i want them to have a good time!! we've been friends for so long how can i make it special so it's not like another day out?? 😫😫😫😫

any advice appreciated thanks!!!! 🥰🥰🥰

[There's a reason why this is anonymous.

Already regretting his decision, Eustace grimaces in disgust typing this hideous thing. But he doesn't want bothersome questions about himself and [redacted], and he knows he's out of his element here. Since he doesn't know anyone personally to ask and he definitely doesn't want [redacted] to see it, he's just going to cover all his tracks and inflict self-torture as he channels someone from his world to pretend as. thanks Beatrix he hates this so much]

Comments

voice; un: desirestruth

[desirestruth]

[Stubbornly on voice because she hATES TYPING--]

...I think giving your intended flowers is traditional?

Also anonymous

[floeing]

take them to Rotagcorc
for a walk under the stars

[Bad things happen when Jack is bored.]

text; anonymous

[spectacleofphantasmagoria]

Ah yes, it's that time of year, isn't it? The time where young love blooms like fresh flowers! I'm quite happy for you, my friend!

If you're going to take your amour to the Dragon's Gale festivals, there are plenty of lovely activities you can do together! But first, tell me, do you have an idea of what it is your date enjoys? Their hobbies, interests, that sort of thing?

voice; un: halfdog

[halfdog]

[ why is this message pissing him off for some reason? it's like he can hear the voice coming through the words. ]

Why are ya asking for advice!? If you've known 'em for that long you should already know what to do!

[ Like inuyasha has a clue about any of this ]

text | anonymous

[astudyinviolet]

[ Insert a typed copy of his notes focused on the first dates and subsequent dates in the romance novels he used for research trying to figure out his own feelings. A lot of statistics and pattern making are involved. This includes tallying the locations, meals, word choice, and outcomes. ]

text; anon

[flamekthunder]

well duh and i thought about it but then they'll be holding them the whole time!

[flamekthunder]

what why there?? that's full of gators and i already said we're going to dragon's gale!!!! 😤😤😤😤

[He hates himself.]

[flamekthunder]

what they enjoy? hmmmmm

[Finally someone who might have some helpful advice!!! But how to write this without making it obvious who it is...]

they liked dancing and going on walks and cooking! 🥰

[Still hating himself, but for the mission information...!!!]

text; anon

[flamekthunder]

[Just going to stare at this message knowing full well who it is.]

wow so does that mean you're an expert? have you been on a date??

voice; un: desirestruth | someone please teach her about the vtt button

[desirestruth]

They have two hands, don't they?

[flamekthunder]

[Oh.

This is a lot, but the moment he sees this he actually sits up a bit and reads the information thoroughly. Certainly a lot of unnecessary details, but...

It could help give some ideas at least and better than the basically zero he had starting out.]

wowowowowow!!!! 🤯 that's so much!! are you a dating master or something???

where did you get all this info??

[flamekthunder]

that's still annoying!! and the flowers might wilt if they're not put in a vase 😣

text | anonymous

[astudyinviolet]

Not at all. I had previously done research using various romance novels as case studies. That was the material that seemed relevant to your question.

[ Truthfully, Sherlock might be looking at the other responses and adding them to his notes if they seem worthwhile. ]

text; un: anonymous

[ventego]

[ No way, this person is in the exact same predicament as he is! Well, this certainly saves him having to post on the network himself. But their texting style is awfully familiar... ]

Thank you for posting this.

I'm going on a date to confess to the person I like this month and was hoping for some advice.

[ He could leave it there, with a good luck wish for the both of them, but his curiosity is nagging at him. ]

Sorry if this seems out of the blue but I feel like I know you.

[halfdog]

[ ‼️ ]

Wh… wh- what the hell!? What kind of stupid question is that!?

[flamekthunder]

well!! you're the one who got all mean about it! 🙄🙄

so are you gonna answer or not??

[flamekthunder]

[....Romance novels.......

A bit too ideal and fantastical of a reliable resource, but it's not the worst place for ideas, either. So he won't discard or discredit it.]

duh i should have thought of that! just hope i won't do anything cliche!!

[Ugh as much as he does appreciate the effort this kind of typing is killing him......]

but how many novels did you read to get so much stuff? and why?? are you looking to date 👀

[Normally he wouldn't pry because not his business, but this "character" would... Ugh playing the bit through to the end it seems.]

[flamekthunder]

[He had a feeling someone else might benefit from this, which would actually help for his "cover."

But... What? Sound familiar?? He doubts anyone would know who he really is, especially since he rarely uses the network to begin with. But did he really somehow manage to type like someone else...?

...

Also to his benefit so he'll just roll with it (even if he's dying inside at times).]

really?? wishing you luck i'm sure it will go well!! 🌠♥️🎆

[Squinting at those emojis but whatever.]

but what do you mean?? you think you know me?? 🤯🤯🤯🤯 nooo don't say it we're supposed to be anonymous!! 😖😖😖

text; un: stillarhino

[stillarhino]

aint the point of a date doing stuff you wanna do together?
if you twos been friends for a long time just being around with thems what makes it special

[flamekthunder]

[........He knew he risked someone he knew actually answering and he shouldn't be surprised Beat answered, but he feels somewhat perplexed all the same. Note, make sure he never finds out about this.]

i know, but!! i want this to be idk different 😩

[stillarhino]

aight i feel ya
whatcha got planned so far then?
aint ever been to dragons gale so gonna need some info

text; un: nutsornothing

[nutsornothing]

Congrats on the first date yo but I hope you don't talk like that when you're around them!? No offense but you kinda sound like a little baby unless they are into that kinda shit which is pretty weird.

[flamekthunder]

[Annnnd there's another one he knows that makes him feel a little perplexed and will make sure he never finds out. But while some might find the message insulting, it just reaffirms he made the right choice to choose a personality that is completely opposite his own.

As torturous as it can be.

Well it makes it easier for him to respond to these kind of things like this—]

wow??? rude!! well you sound like an asshole!! 😡😡😡

[Sorry Denji, but he's committed to the bit.]

text | anonymous

[astudyinviolet]

Around a dozen towards the end.

The case study was about the extent of someone recognizing romantic or sexual feelings toward another. With the caveat of inexperience or never having felt such things before.

[ He had no one to turn to, okay? He was doing his best. And then others read him as the confused Victorian he was. ]

[halfdog]

No I’m not gunna answer that! It’s none of your business anyway!