shellphones | video

[ Anytime he called her Momo, she'd probably shift into animal that nickname suits - just to be a little gremlin. Mo is also acceptable. Hey, no one said that a tragic backstory can't be one they made themselves and she'd get that. ~~They could talk about accidentally setting shit on fire and losing their best friend.~~ Hm, enough of this sad talk - time to go back to not thinking about the terrible stuff in their lives. ] Well, meeting me is a life-changing evolution because now I'm never gonna leave you alone!

[ He can absolutely have it. Of course Nimona sees the change in posture and notes that talking about his employees is a good topic. ] Is cheating allowed? I'd totally cheat at those not-so-country games. Your daughter totally counts as an employee. [ A nod of her head and a slightly evil grin. ] I will be on the lookout for a million-foot tall owl guy and hara- bothe- I mean talk to him. Yeah, talk - not those other two things.

[ A nod of her head as they leave the sad immortality and life-changing event stuff alone. ]

Are there dragons in your world or you talking about the ones here?

[ She is the master of resume doodles, Nimona would do great at I.M.P. ]

[It'd be like really weird and specific charades! Kind of. He's game, he loves games. ~~Blitzø will, unfortunately, not be commiserating about fires with anyone, ever, thank you.~~ He likes this plan. Trauma, what trauma? He fixes her with a crooked smile, one that's a bit more genuinely happy and less of a shit-eating grin.] You say that now, but you've only known me like fifteen minutes. What if I turn out to be super annoying or something?

[Months ago, he'd have been annoyed at being Seen, but these days he's a little less bothered by displaying emotion. He honks a laugh at her immediate suggestion of cheating.] It's way more rewarding to win without cheating, but you do what you gotta depending on the competition. Loonie absolutely counts-- she used to just sort of man the phones but she's been doing more field work with us lately. [He will talk forever about his surly daughter, Nimona, don't get him going.] And no, please, harass and bother the absolute fuck out of him, he's awkward and needs friends.

Mmmn, kind of both? Stolas-- that's the owl guy --'s prick of an ex-brother-in-law made a giant-ass ice dragon I had to deal with back home, and then one here decided to kidnap him, too, soooo. We don't have a great record with 'em.

[Hired SO immediately, just for the doodles. More reasons for him to find a way to fashion I.M.P here.]

[ It'll be the best game of charades that will confuse everyone around them, and that's what life's about. ~~They can commiserate by not commiserating.~~ There's a twinkle in Nimona's eye at his question. ] You've only known me for like fifteen minutes. Maybe you'd have to try really really really really hard to annoy me because I'd just be super annoying right back at you.

[ At least what she's Seen is him going from things he doesn't want to talk about to enjoying the conversation. Which is what this whole post is about. ] Eh, it's way more fun to watch someone fall on their face than win. Unless we're playing board games. Is Loonie her name or is that a nickname you call her? Takin' names, killin' people - the family business. [ She says it in a perfect mob boss accent. No, talk about Loona because she would relate soooo hard to this adopted daughter. Nimona gives him a salute. ] Yes boss! I will hunt him down, harass and bother him until he becomes my new friend and get him into all sorts of trouble. That I will also get him out of!

Ooo, an ice dragon. It's a shame when dragons have to listen to pricks. At least most of the dragons here are harmless. They just kinda kidnap people and wait for someone to show up to play hero.

[ Job number three acquired. Nimona can absolutely provide the transportation. Whether by sea, sky, or land - they will travel in style. ]

[As it fucking should be. ~~What happens in trauma stays in trauma.~~ He somehow feels threatened by that twinkle.] Oh-ho, well luckily for you one of my employees is super annoying, I don't know that you'll be able to take Moxxie's crown away from him.

[Perception check: passed with flying colors. He exhales a harsh breath in laughter.] Good news, then: I fall on my face multiple times in a week without trying to win a damn thing. Loonie's a nickname-- her name's Loona, but she's my Looney-Tuney forever, no matter how old she gets. [Clearly why Nimona is now his Eltrut-adopted daughter. Who is also somehow thousands of years old-- semantics. His grin is fond.] He's got this ridiculous posh accent-- if you could somehow miss him by his height, y'can't miss him by that. He's all-- [He throws his voice in a perfect auditory simulation of Stolas, and also a hand through the air.] I never wear shoes because no one makes shoes in my size, it's the best thing to listen to and also make fun of.

[He grimaces.] I'm not entirely sure if the thing was sentient or not, I think it was all controlled by his powers? I hope, at least, given I kind of lobbed its head off to get Stolas out of its gullet. [He wrinkles his snout.] Yeah-- right pain in the ass, but at least the thing didn't hurt him.

[ ~~Eh, she's trying to get over the trauma.~~ As he should be. Nimona's toothy grin goes sharp - like a shark's or a demon's. ] Puh-lease, I've been super duper annoying long before this Moxxie guy was even born. I will eat his crown right off his head.

[ Blitzø is absolutely feeding her gremlin side and it's going to become everyone else's problem. ] I'm gonna take so many pictures and videos of you falling, then I'm gonna send them all to your daughter someday so she doesn't miss a thing. Loona's a cool name. No matter how old you get, you still like it when your dad calls you by your nicknames. [ Age is just a number. The impression of Stolas cracks her up and she's literally rolling on the floor laughing. ] Now I know what to get him as a gift!

[ Nimona shrugs. ] Sometimes dragons are just pricks and deserve to get murdered. Kinda like people! Did it bleed a lot? Did it bleed snow? Was it one smooth swiiiing or did you have to saw it off? [ These are the more important details in her opinion. ] I dunno why the dragons here are interested in kidnapping people. Maybe they're trying to spread the "love" or whatever.

[~~How's that going for her? Maybe B will follow suit.~~ The way she immediately eats up the idea of a challenge-- about being annoying, of all things! Has a grin set on Blitzø's face hard enough his jaw kind of hurts.] He'd absolutely piss himself if y'did that, so if he ever shows up I'm gonna put a little paper crown on his head and I need you to deliver on this promise.

[They're feeding each other's, honestly. Watch out, Eltrut, ridiculous pains in your asses coming through. He barks another laugh.] Fuck, she'd get a kick out of that. [The mention of always liking nicknames startles him, and his expression goes slack at the idea. He knows Loona cares, he knows she's rough around the edges on purpose, same as he is, but-- the idea of her liking his stupid nicknames forever has his heart of hearts squeezed like a little stress ball. He clears his throat when she moves on to his Stolas impression, forcibly climbing out of the moment.] I'unno, he's got some weird-ass bird feet.

Didn't bleed at all, actually? Which is why I figure maybe it wasn't completely sentient, like I just-- [He makes a swinging motion, wide with one arm.] Right at its neck with a sword as big as most of me. Do dragons get lonely? Maybe that's why. [Lord save Eltrut, these two are so ADHD.]

Edited 2025-04-25 17:00 (UTC)

[ ~~Pretty good, actually! Nobody's called her a monster and pointed a sword at her.~~ They are a duo made in hell. ] Oo-oo, I could totally do it as a shark and really make him freak out! Make sure you record it so we can watch it back. I don't wanna miss his expressions.

[ It's good to have someone to gremlin around with, someone to get into trouble with that can also help get each other out of trouble. A happy grin. ] We can take so many pictures to share with your family. [ Nimona can't remember ever having a family, had a shit life, was wanted dead by basically everyone, and then finally finally had someone who cared about her like a dad would... it was the best feeling in the world. Even if sometimes she acts like it's annoying - it's the best feeling in the world. ] Well, we got plenty of birdfolk around here so I'm sure they could come up with something for his weird-ass bird feet.

Ugh, bo-ooooring. It should have at least bleed snow, then splattered in the prick's face. [ Her eyes practically sparkle at the rest of the story though. One swing! ] Metal, a one swing murder. I'm gonna be able to do that one day. Yep, dragons get lonely. [ This world isn't going to know what hit it when these two are together. ]

[~~Unfortunately Blitzø wouldn't mind being called a monster OR having a sword pointed at him, so he will continue to avoid processing his trauma.~~ Born and raised, baby.] Oh, you know it! Wouldn't miss it for the world.

[He will get them in SO much trouble, but barring that one time in court he's actually pretty damn good at getting right back out of it. Charisma, or something. He makes another startled microexpression, and then sets his chin in one hand and grins at the screen.] Yeah? Maybe I wanna take a couple pictures with you, what say you to that? [He'll do his best to not sharpie out his own face.] Man, there are a weird amount of bird people here.

No, you're absolutely right! Even with the circumstances being kind of shit, it definitely would have been way cooler if it bled snow-- and I don't even mean that in a dad joke way!! [He extracts his flintlock from his coat and spins it on a claw, winking.] Usually I go for this baby for one-hits, but-- the sword was what I had on-hand. [He squints at her.] Speaking from experience?

[ ~~You know that thing that just always gets your riled up and yet somehow depressed at the same time, Blitzø? That's what the monster thing is for Nimona.~~ ] Then we can plaster it all over the network for everyone to see.

[ Nimona's got great acting skills and likes to break stuff, so they will have so many few times they need a rescue from outside forces. A dramatic, very over-the-top gasp. ] Only a couple? There are so many choices for pictures how will we ever narrow it down?! [ Because that's what the problem is. Can't just print up a phone picture here, but he can edit an emoji over it! ] There is a weird amount of bird people around. So your posh secretary should definitely be able to find shoes somewhere.

[ She laughs over his dad joke. ~~Listen, she loves to make the stupidest puns so of course she's gonna laugh over dad jokes.~~ ] You coulda finished it off with a "I’m cold as ice, but my puns are red hot!" Or "don't be snow dramatic". [ Sometimes, Nimona tries to lighten shit circumstances with a joke. When the gun comes out, she makes a sound of awe. ] I usually just turn into different animals, but sometimes I use knives. I've been learning how to use a sword that's a big as I am lately.

[ Her nose scrunches up at the question. ] Yeah, too much experience. Like... a thousand years worth? Kinda my whole life.

[~~He'll bite someone for her.~~ Another honk of raucous laughter.] Yes! Love how you think.

We should see how many it takes to max out the storage space on these phones. [He waggles his fingers at the screen of his Shellphone, and then shrugs.] At this point I'm not sure he wants to.

[He slaps his own thigh laughing at that.] Don't be snow dram-- Mo, unholy fuck, I need to write that one down. [His eyebrows make a bid for space with how high they climb off his face.] Knives are cool! I'm not as good with them, but I like ranged shit.

[His expression softens, and then his whole posture, his tail spade flopping back and forth in a slow wag.] Well, how about this-- long as I'm here, you ever know a lonely dragon, send 'em my way.

[ ~~So long as she gets to watch.~~ She looks smugly proud. ] I'm an evil genius. I even applied to be the sidekick to what I thought was a villain once.

Oh man, these things are so magical I never even thought about how much storage space was on the phones. Time to put it through the test. [ Polaroid cameras are a lot better because then she can hang them everywhere. She might look into getting one. ] There might be some places where it's better to have shoes, so getting a pair could be useful someday.

[ Hehe, he liked the joke! ] I got a bunch more of those if you ever need 'em. [ A dramatic sigh. ] No one will let me play with other weapons. I wanted a catapult for our ship but nooooo, I'm not allowed to launch drunk customers into the ocean.

[ Oh, that's an offer she wasn't expecting right off the bat, even if they've been getting along like a house on fire. ] If I ever come across a lonely dragon, I will.

[~~Please bring popcorn.~~ As she should. Blitzø lounges a little, kicking his feet up and watching the screen with a lazy smile.] Not afraid to get your hands dirty for a good time-- I like that attitude.

I'm shit at magic stuff, to be honest, so I'll leave the photo-taking to you, I might break something. [He would love that, but also his penchant for fucking up pictures is sort of a danger to physical photos.]

[He slips his gun back into his pocket and shrugs.] I haven't got much here, but if you wanna learn firearms, I gotcha. Better for someone who knows how to use them to teach you than to have you learning on your own.

[His smile is frankly disgustingly fond. Yeah, Nimona, you've been quite thoroughly adopted.] Good.

[ ~~She absolutely will.~~ Plopping her chin on her giant plushie. ] Nope! I broke him out of a jail and things exploded! It was metal.

Eh, shapeshifting's all I got. And harassing my tech friends into making things for me. I'll load up my phone so full with pictures and we'll find out if there's a limit. [ She will find a way to make copies and put them somewhere safe.

Her eyes are sparkling and she lifts a hand high in the air like she's in a classroom. ] I want to learn how to shoot guns! Teach me your ways.

[ It's a warm feeling in her chest, to have another new family member after going so long without. A hope that she won't have to be alone someday. ~~Will Stolas someday become dad number 3? Time to find out.~~ ] Good. Where do you live, if I were to send a dragon your way?

[He whistles.] Jailbreak, too? You're building quite the resume.

[A chuckle.] "All", she says. Bitch you can shapeshift, don't sell yourself short! [If they're digital he doesn't mess with them, it's just the physical ones-- probably just the ones he actually hangs on walls and shit, honestly. Thanks, trauma!]

[His eyes crease nearly shut with how hard he smiles.] You got it.

[He's a touch apprehensive, if he's honest-- he's been here long enough that he's definitely missing his family at home, but the impermanence of it all has him keeping distance from most people. It stung like Hell, no pun intended, when Angel disappeared, but... Nimona's just a bit too magnetic for him to keep at arm's length. ~~Stolas doesn't get a choice in this, he's got another daughter.~~ He reaches out and taps around on the shellphone to send her the address-- it's Paladin, despite him being a Corsair, but he's been living on Stolas' couch.] It's birdie's place, technically, but I live here too. Dragons welcome anytime.

[ She snickers. ] I'm very handy to have as a sidekick. I dunno why anyone wouldn't hire me on the spot.

I am short! Short and awesome. And okay, I can breathe fire... and cereal. [ ~~Don't ask about the last one... or do.~~ And possible being immortal with the ability to be reborn from the ashes. They can both take markers to physical ones, make improvements. ]

There's something I gotta do - another jailbreak and people to at least maim if not murder, but when I'm free, I'm gonna find you for lessons. [ That sounds like a threatening promise - a fond one.

For a year she held on to a lot of her own apprehensions, waiting for the betrayal that just kept happening to her. Being afraid of losing the people she cared about most. So she gets that. ~~Daughter number three should at least talk to new dad.~~ She checks the address, noting it's a Paladin place but hardly blinks when he explains. ] Got it. If you ever need a drink, come by the Seventh Heaven - our ship's also a bar and tavern.

If I ever get something akin to I.M.P going here, Mo-- you're first on my list.

[Another toothy grin.] You 'n me both. Fuckin' hilarious to watch me and Stolas in the damn apartment, he's too tall for everything and I'm too short for everything, stupid as hell. [A beat, and he frowns so hard the mark on his forehead creases.] Did you just say you can breathe cereal?

[He levels her with a Look-- fatherly, concerned, but not in a "you're in trouble" sort of way.] You've got my call sign if you need any help with the maimery, y'got it?

[She really is like Loona. And Blitzø himself, for that matter. ~~I've already told Stolas-mun B is probably bringing home a dragonchild sometime lolll.~~ He winks, shooting fingerguns at her.] You got it. You sure a place called Seventh Heaven isn't gonna catch on fire when a literal demon walks in? [He's mostly kidding, but-- can't hurt to be safe.]

I'll draw up my resume! [ Said with enthusiasm. It's important to be prepared, even if she'd be hired on the sheer basis that she's now his newest adopted kid. ]

Do you make him get everything on the top shelf? I do that with the tall people on the crew to be a menace. [ Because she could shapeshift into a taller form, but it's more fun to pester the taller folk. Nimona opens her mouth and then closes it. ] Yeeeeeees? Pink puffy balls of cereal. They make good weapons if you just wanna see someone struggle in a ball pit.

[ Not a Look. Her nose scrunches up, because she does recognize that look. ] Yep, I do. Gotta figure out where this jail in the first place though.

[ Three peas in a pod. ~~Excellent, she will crash on the floor or turn into a cat and sleep on the couch with Blitz.~~ A laugh at his question. ] Nah, we're definitely not some holy place. The name used to belong to bar in some city slums.

[He laughs, shaking his head.] I'll accept it readily.

Oh, fuck no-- I just climb shit. He'll see what I'm going for and hand it to me sometimes, but I ain't askin'. [He's aggressively self-sufficient. And also cracking up laughing at cereal as a weapon.] That's-- that's fuckin' hilarious, oh my God. Has anybody ever eaten their way out?? Or tried? I would try.

[His head cants just slightly to the left.] Need help?

[A whole service bar of funny little people. ~~Stolas has absolutely had to pick him up off the floor because he can and will sleep absolutely anywhere like a fucking cat, so that's perfectly acceptable.~~ He huffs out a relieved breath.] Had me worried there for a second!

[ An evil laugh. ] Now I get to tell Moxxie I was your first choice for the Escordvi branch. [ Shhh, Stolas doesn't count. ]

Just be annoying about it. Like "gimme that" and poke him in the belly until he does. [ Though shoes or bare feet on the counter also count as annoying so... A grin. ] They're so stupid when I pelt them in the head. Uh... not that I know of. I don't know what they did with them afterwords though. So maybe! That's gross and I'd record it!

[ She puffs out an annoyed, frustrated breath - with fire. ] We've checked all over Paladin, Corsair, and the neutral leviathans and haven't found anything yet. If you wanna help, I won't say no but I'm starting to think they're being held somewhere else.

[ The most eclectic family. ~~When you're used to having not much of anything, you learn to take everything you can get.~~ A shake of her head. ] Nah, pretty sure the owners only have one afterlife in their world. So everyone goes to the same place when they die.

[ No Heaven or Hell. ]

[Another honk of laughter.] He'll be flattered you remembered his name but then absolutely designate you his workplace rival for life. He's a theatre junkie, hope you're ready for that. [Stolas is kind of a special case all around, let's be real.]

[He wrinkles his snout, shaking his head.] Nah. Not an "asking for help" kinda guy, even when it's for shit on the top shelf. I'm perfectly fine at climbing and gettin' it m'self. [Luckily the cereal deviation has him laughing again before he can get too fussed about admitting to how fucking stubborn he is about asking for literally anything.] How big are we talking, here? I can put away a lot of food for being like, four feet tall.

[He considers that, mulling it over.] 's related to all the mass kidnappings lately? [Oops, plot mentioned.]

[~~Blitzø has, as self-proclaimed, an eye for potential, even if that potential is mostly somebody he sees enough of himself in to reach out.~~ He wrinkles his snout again.] Boring! Hell gets so overpopulated with Sinners they do a fuckin' extermination on the regular, which-- sick shit, actually, but. Can't imagine what it's like if they all went one place.

[ She lifts a finger. ] Gotta be nice to throw him off guard, then rub it in his face. More effective that way. I'll go to the theater with him, and I'll sit next to him, and I'll be so annoying that we get banned. [ Nimona is that much of a gremlin. And he is and the minute Nimona sees them together, she'll know it.

Hmmm! ] How will I know you need help with dragons then? Do we get a secret code? Hand signals? Drawings? Emojis? [ They can find a workaround for asking for help in a legitimate life or death kind of situation, at least.] Somewhere between softball and dodgeball sized? Depends on how big of a dragon I am at the time.

[ A half-frown. ] Yeah. Some of my family got taken. [ She just got that family!

~~It's honestly like looking in a mirror, and he missed her self-destructive moment here.~~ Extermination because of overpopulation. ] If they all went to the same place, all the Goodie-type people would have to interact with all the Sinner-type people. Just kinda sounds like more of the same of a regular life to me. When I died temporarily, I turned into pink sparkly dust and went nowhere until I mysteriously reappeared~

Unholy shit, you might just have him beat. [Please don't call him out on his astronomical amounts of simp for the bird, he's struggling with it as is.]

[He flinches, realizing what she's doing a bit too late to deflect it.] ...if I actually needed it, I'd ask. [Which-- isn't a lie. He's just absolute Hellhound shit at allowing himself help when it's not a very solid requirement that he can't really argue. He holds his hands at the rough sizes of a softball and a dodgeball, then blinks owlishly at Nimona.] Damn, you've got range.

Well-- that sure as fuck won't do.

[~~His are unfortunately constant on a smaller scale, but he's maybe getting better about it?? Maybe.~~] Mmn, maybe so. This is why I don't make the fuckin' rules down here, or anything close to it. You..., died temporarily?

I am the ultimate winner! [ She'll just give Looks. Knowing looks when she sees them in the same space together.

HMMMMM, don't deflect new dad. Nimona is trying to make it a little easier. ] You could send me a dragon emoji! 🐉 [ He could use it for just about anything, even things that aren't dragon-related. Nimona would just show up and be there. It's a tiny step beyond that very solid requirement. ] Normally I can be whatever size I want, but this world has rules and limits. Blech. So my dragon and phoenix are only like ten feet tall.

I know! I'm so mad that I wanna destroy stuff! But I'm saving it for the main event. [ Don't want to give away that she's probably trespassing into places she probably shouldn't.

~~Nimona's are huge and very dramatic, can't miss 'em. Literally.~~ ] Sometimes rules are meant to be broken anyway. Or at least very very bent.

[ It's story time! ] Oh yeah! So there was this crazy lady who hated me soooooo much. Blah blah, "Monsters must be destroyed", whatever, right? I guess to be fair, I did kind of rampaged through the kingdom a little. She aimed this laser cannon into the center the kingdom and intended to fire it at me even though I'd stopped rampaging. It would have killed a toooooon of people. I said "screw that" and turned into a phoenix and barrel straight into that cannon. [ Her hand sails through the sky and smacks into the other one before blowing up. ] BOOM! We both died in the explosion, except I got to come back to life a while later.

[He's so gross, actually. Like a fucking school kid, but in his thirties.]

[He frowns-- Nimona's like. Thousands of years old, and yet he's designated himself as The Adult, so it feels wrong to permit himself to utilize anything even slightly resembling the lonely dragon mention. His posture pulls kind of squiggly, like he's uncomfortable in his own skin, and he shrugs.] Dragon emoji's better than trying to make you decipher my texting. [A snort.] Only ten feet, she says. Stolas won't be shit to you in height, then, except if you turn him sideways he disappears. Skinny dude.

Good deal, save your energy. The more of it you store to beat ass the better the beating will be.

[He just grunts, because yeah, doesn't he fuckin' know it.]

[He processes that and whistles, softly.] Full-on "rise like a Phoenix" bit, aren't'cha.

[ Nimona will watch them around each other and find out what their deal is. This is going to be her.

She is a child in heart and soul, having had no parental figures at all "growing up". That's the kind of thing she soaks up, getting parental affection of all sorts. Really, she's trying to not let this get too heavy. ] I suck at reading so that works out! [ They are really two peas in a pod. ] One of my dragon forms is maybe fifty feet tall. And my phoenix isn't too much smaller than that. I don't use them much. Waaait, I thought Stolas was a million foot tall?! Gasp! Wa-was that a lie? [ Cue the absolutely fake dramatics, she even puts a hand to her forehead and pretends to faint. ]

I'm gonna bite people, and squash 'em under my tail, and make them pee themselves! Then I'll murder 'em. [ Definitely going to be on a vengeance streak when she finds where her family's been taken. ]

Yep, that's me! I'm hard to get rid of.

cw: violent doodles in links.

i have really got to see this movie.

It's a great movie. and this is CR I didn't know I needed

hard same, they're so good

Nimona and Blitzø are here for the found family

over 9000% also pls excuse his icons they expired and i'm at work lol

Nimona's going to collect all the awesome dads. nw nw

don't call him an awesome dad to his face he will CRY.

ew gross don't cry. she'd swipe someone's shirt for him to blow his nose with

he is nothing if not dramatic

she loves being dramatic, but only fake crying

at least most of his dad crying is silly and not Serious Actual Tears,

just the way she likes it

listen he doesn't want anyone to see the Serious Actual Tears, okay

she goes tiny tot when sad and vulnerable... it has happened too many times for her liking

LOL MY HTML don't tag when tired, kids-- he will put her in his fucking pocket okay

always tags when tired... she will live there happily

true that

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