shellphones | video / please send this beast to your local authorities (us)

Type: Video
Sender ID: tenrectricity (Surge)
To: Public
Subject: Have You Seen This Bum?
Warnings: n/a

[ immediately the viewer will see a green animal on screen, the camera angled up telling that whoever is holding the camera is shorter than her. don't mind that, because she's leaning forward into the screen with a sharktooth grin, then tapping at the recorder with the tip of her gloved finger. ]

Hey, is this working!?

[ in the background is a very low "yes ma'am!".

surge leans back, her ears twitching as she nods to herself. she shifts to the left a bit, then to the right now sure which side is her best side but... she'll figure that out later. ]

Okay, listen up! Your fellow heroes [ self-proclaimed ] are inna crisis! I got a prop...eristion for anyone willing to take on the challenge!

[ from behind the camera, another voice can be heard: ]

Proposition...

Yeah, that! The reward? We'll get to that later! A N Y way! There's this damn menace on the prowl causin' trouble as we speak, and you all need to be on the lookout. He's out there creatin' monsters and trying to put people in peril, but we know his weakness, and we'll get rid of him for ya before he tries to kill ya next.

[ hands on her hips, the tenrec nods to her own words because it makes sense, why wouldn't it? ]

Hand me the... y'know! [ she's holding out her hand towards the camera person, asking for something. ] So I know you're all curious about who this nefarious fiend is. My cool and artistic sidekick has taken it upon himself to draw this cretin.

[ a flap of a sheet of paper now means the camera screen, revealing the culprit. ]

THIS GUY. Bring him to us and we will beat the shit out of him and you never have to deal with his evil again! So, anyone up for the task?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ menacing, huh? then again, kit's skills are unparalleled as surge grabs a pen and begins to draw out of pettiness and spite, a mustache. ]

Because he could be hiding in anyone's shadow! So if you see him, nab'em!

[ turning back to the camera, she offers a small wink. ]

Don't worry, we're gunna hunt him too. If you don't get him then there's no reward, but I see this place functions off winning somethin' after giving some effort. I'm appealin' to the masses!

Hiding in anyone's shadow? As in the shadows themselves? It sounds like this fellow has quite the assortment of powers.

How do you even know of him?

He doin' all kinds of things, and it's stuff that isn't helpin' anyone!

[ let's be real, making jellies and hiding in shadows. real dirty work. ]

I know of him...

[ ... well, back home on a mood board, but she doesn't know how to explain that. ]

By that whole interaction! Have you seen him around?

[...Wait. What interaction??? There's some confusion, buuuut Cid is going to continue to play dumb for now.]

No, can't say I have. Though if he looks like what you drew, he shouldn't be too hard to spot, even with all the other beastfolk in this world.

But even if I did, how would I even catch him? You said he had a weakness...?

Beastfolk??

[ now what is that supposed to mean. first of all. ]

Don't group me in with none'a'them. I'm my own tier of kickin' ass and taking names. You got that! Call me Surge the Tenrec!

[ put some respect on her fur!! ]

From the look of ya, you got this big guy, this weakness will be the final blow. But you? Just grab'em by the scruff.

My apologies, that's just what they call the people here who look similar to you.

[He thinks directly referring to "animals" may be more offensive so he'll just leave it like that.]

But grab him by the scruff, you say? What about those spines?

So all longlegs are the same?

[ now while surge has no right to talk about proportions, the human-adjacent individuals are all long in the legs. what's that about!? ]

You can grab the guy in the picture by the scruff, if any of those jelly beasts come seeping out his fur then handle'm! This can't be your first time at the rodeo wrangling monsters.

[ which is to say surge thinks he looks experienced because why else would he follow up! ]

If you mean humans, in some ways yes and in others no. Just like there are different kinds of beastfolk, which is more of a general category. What would the more proper term to address you as?

[But this is just getting more intriguing by the second.]

...And jelly beasts? As you say, I'm experienced which is all the more reason to try and learn as much as I can for the best advantage.

Edited 2025-05-17 04:30 (UTC)

C'mon dude! What else do you think we wanna be called? People, we're p-e-o-p-l-e!

[ beastfolk, damn.... they all the same as far as she's concerned, but he's just on the human scale! ]

And don't ya forget it! You can start by callin' me Surge the Tenrec, and my lil' pal over here....

Kitsunami!

[ at the realization that surge's expecting him to speak up, kit yelps it as if it's the most urgent thing in the world. then he kind of thinks about why surge trailed off like that, as if she doesn't know his name...

...

more importantly: ]

Um, you could try burning them...

[ that seemed to work. ]

[Well!! He's actually run into types who were very specific as to the type of beastfolk they were so he wondered if they were the same!! Especially since she looks like a rabbit and the other looks like a fox. But fair and duly noted.]

Surge the Tenrec and Kitsunami, eh? Suppose it's only fair to introduce myself, and you can call me Cid.

But burning them? Is it particularly weak to fire?

[ a rabbit!? she looks like a tenrec, he has to be doing this to mock her in his brain... psh... bnuuy... the nerve! ]

Yeah, totally rememerable name, I can do that.

[ however kit's right, it should definitely succumb to fire. ]

When you put heat on something that's water based, it does all sorts of crazy things. You got anything that can make fire or are you screwed?

[ she's going to lean into the camera as if that makes seeing anything on him easier. ]

Water based, is it? In that case, it would be the other way around.

[A light grin.]

Fire won't do much against water, the water will just extinguish it and make steam. However, lightning, or anything electric, can heat up the properties and cause significant damage.

Maybe it... ate something weird? W-we already fought them, and... Fire seemed to work...

[ he looks so reluctant to be correcting this, and as if apologetic about it: ]

B-b-but I'm sure Surge could handle them easily now!

[ she didn't have powers then so the idea didn't even occur to her, but now with it said aloud, she definitely things she could have handled it in some way. ]

We gave ya a lot to work with, so tell me, big stuff, you up for the task?

[ not everyone can hunt down someone like that hog if he hides in shadows, but he seems... like he's willing.

unless he changes his mind at the last second, there's that too. ]

Scruff him, and burn his little cohorts.

[Hum. Well, whether he agrees or not, knowing Shadow he's fairly certain nothing really will come of it.]

Very well. This foul creature does sound like quite the challenge, so I'll try and take him on should I find him.

Take him on? No, no, no! Scuffing him sure, burning his little sludge buddies. OK! But taking him on is for us.

[ someone's remembered what the point of this whole post was, he can't go out and completely win the battle, that's for surge!! ]

Remember the part where we... me and Drippy... beat the shit out of him?

[He chuckles.]

Aye, I remember. But it still requires a bit of fighting, eh? That's all I meant.

Just enough to help capture and bring him along.

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