text - Questions

[thearchangel]

Type: Text
Sender ID: thearchangel (Garrus Vakarian)
To: Public
Subject: Questions! Totally serious ones.
Warnings: N/A

Couple things I've been wondering about, lately. Figured now that the brand crap has settled down a bit, it's as good a time as any to ask.

- Any word on where the Paladin Leviathan went? Lost track of that discussion with all the under water adventures.

- Has anyone heard anything about any Riftfarers ever getting promoted in their respective Armadas? We know they have superiors, a council each - Paladins especially have a military type structure, from what I've seen. But has anyone ever been an officer? Or whatever passes for it in the Corsairs?

[It just seems weird, okay.]

- And ah, less seriously

[He almost starts typing "Looking for experience with getting a house" but deletes it. That's too forward, probably.]

Pet fish. Suggestions welcome. The hardier the species the better.

[NAILED IT.]

Comments

SORRY BRUH

[thearchangel]

[Okay... maybe text was the right move to start with. Maybe he should have just sent a picture.]

Turtle. Can't say I've heard that one before. [It shouldn't annoy him, but here it is.] Turian. It's 'turian'. We're not from your planet.

I can practically hear garrus sighing

[stillarhino]

[It's not like he meant to be rude... even if it comes off that way.]

Turian, huh? [He's going to have to remember that one.] Guess it makes sense why you don't know much about fish.

I ain't caught no colorful ones you looking for. Was out fishing for a coupla hours and only got one of 'em to bite.

this is why he texts he thinks

[thearchangel]

Yeah, not being from Earth really has that effect.

[Yep, just going to move on to talking about fish - ]

Hm, too bad. I doubt the ones people eat make for good pets.

[stillarhino]

Would help ya out with it if it ain't hella borin', yo. Probably more fun to try catchin' one with your hands.

[A pause, his expression shifting as it lights up, clearly realizing something.]

You try askin' those guys who got pets you can adopt? Even if they don't got any up for grabs, they's prob'ly got a coupla ideas on how to hook ya up with some.

[thearchangel]

Yeah, that's not happening any time soon.

[He'll drown. He thinks.]

Which guys? There's the animal sanctuary, but I didn't think that applied to fish.

[stillarhino]

I'm sayin' I can help ya our with it, yo! You don't gotta get your hands dirty. [Or should it be wet in this case?]

If they's the one who was givin' out the three-headed pups, then yeah. They gotta have fish too, right? Ain't they animals too?

[thearchangel]

Well, if you have nothing better to do.

[WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP TALKING ABOUT DOGS. THERE ARE NO DOGS. NO SECRET DOG MISSION-]

I... really have no idea. I thought they were their own thing.

[stillarhino]

[No dogs? But there were so many dogs! And dog heads!!]

Pretty sure they's animals, aight. [At least as far as he knows.] Give it a shot with 'em. If they got nothin', I'll help catch some for ya.

[thearchangel]

If you say so.

[SHRUG. What does he know?] Worth a try. They'd probably know how to look after them, too.

[stillarhino]

Betcha it's real easy. You jus' gotta feed them, right?

[...Right?]

[thearchangel]

Yeah that... doesn't always work. Sometimes they die even if they get fed.

[stillarhino]

For real, yo? How much else you gotta do to keep 'em alive?

[thearchangel]

A lot, apparently. I don't know a damn thing about it other than that.

[stillarhino]

Why you so into 'em anyway? Don't sound like you really up for havin' 'em as a pet.

[thearchangel]

It's complicated.

No, I'm not a pet guy, but I know someone who is.

[That... wasn't all that complicated, actually.]

[stillarhino]

So you's plannin' on givin' 'em as a gift?

[You came to the right guy, Garrus. Even if you didn't really come to him. Beat's great at giving gifts!]

Yo, you gotta be the one to catch it! Jus' that's gonna make it hella better when they get it!

private;

[thearchangel]

[Hold on - this is supposed to be a surprise, so he is absolutely locking this:]

Yeah. My ah - my girlfriend had a huge tank, back where we're from. She really liked it, too.

She deserves something good.

[A lot of good things.]

[stillarhino]

[Ah, that explains a lot. It wasn't too long ago that he asked for advice and possible gifts for his own girlfriend on the network. Beat chuckles lightly, nodding his head.]

I get that, yo. Would give mely girl gifts, jus' 'cause, you know?

[Then, far louder than it needs to be:] Aight! Lemme help ya out, man. If ya wanna buy somethin' or catch 'em yourself, or whatever! Beat's your guy.

[thearchangel]

Beat, huh? That's your name?

[He shouldn't judge, he knows a guy named GRUNT, after all.]

You don't have to. But, if you happen to see anything colorful - fish-wise? Let me know?

[stillarhino]

Yeah. It's what everyone calls me.

[Could there be more to that? Hmm...]

Aight, you got it. Coupla fish for the turtle comin' right up.

[thearchangel]

... Not turtle. It's - I'm not a turtle.

[stillarhino]

[What was that, Garrus? Looks like he's already disconnected the call. Maybe try again when he makes your fish delivery to you.]