Aiutami

[refantasma]

Type: Text
Sender ID: refantasma (Nico di Angelo)
To: judoflipped (Percy Jackson)
Subject: Help
Warnings: Dumb boys

Percy where are you? I need to talk to you.

Comments

[judoflipped]

Just kinda figured it out on the way.

[he doesn't... really know. these are all hard questions--

but then he sputters at "The Talk".]

Ah... well. I'm probably not the best one to be talking to you about "The Talk".

[nor does he want to.]

[refantasma]

You don't have to give it to me, just tell me what it is.

[Nico looks up at Percy, expectant and hopeful, like the first time they met...]

[judoflipped]

[bruh...]

Uh...

[he feels SO awkward]

Ever heard of the birds and the bees?

[refantasma]

[It was a calculated move. He's a little surprised it worked.]

No.

[They called it the "I fatti della vita" talk in Italian. Literally, the facts of life.]

What do birds and bees have to do with dating?

[judoflipped]

[okay, he's going to drag his hands down his face at this point.]

You know, what two people do? When they're uh... past the kissing stage?

[he's trying to be vague about it but also trying to get Nico on the program, here. he's not equipped for giving people the talk!!]

[refantasma]

Yes. Percy there's vases with that all over the place!

[He throws up his arms in impatience.]

I know how sex works Percy!

[judoflipped]

[it's the way they're both impatient with each other, because Percy's getting huffy now too.

he also throws his hands up.]

Okay, then why're you asking me about "The Talk"?? That's what that is!!

[duh!!!]

If you already know it, then I don't have to explain!

[refantasma]

Well, how was I supposed to know that? Will just kept calling it 'The Talk,' and then you mentioned the 'birds and bees,' which is stupid. We call it 'The facts of life' in Italian.

[Huffing, Nico crosses his arms.]

Fine. I bet you suck at explaining it anyway.

[judoflipped]

That's just what they call it besides "The Talk"! I don't get why, either!!

[he's huffing too. they're both Very Mature.]

What, it's not that complicated! Well... [there's a moment where he looks thoughtful and irritated at the same time--] You know what, it's probably better if I don't know.

[refantasma]

[Nico's fifteen, three and half years younger than Percy, so he has that excuse.]

If you have kids, you'll have to give it to them.

[judoflipped]

[Percy wrinkles his nose a bit, and huffs.]

I'll just get Annabeth to do it. She'd be better at it than me, anyway.

[refantasma]

Dude.

[Nico put so much disapproval into that single word.]

[judoflipped]

[wow, he feels judged!!]

... What?

[refantasma]

[That's because he totally is.]

Chicken. And if you have gay kids you're not foisting them off on me to explain it.

[judoflipped]

[guess it's not something all that surprising...]

What?? Why not? Shouldn't I let them talk to someone who could relate to them??

[don't make him do it!!!]

[refantasma]

Because I'm not a teacher. And I'll probably be dead by then.

[judoflipped]

[there's a bit of a pause, and then he frowns.]

What do you mean, you'll be dead by then?

[Nico... !!!]

[refantasma]

[Nico looks over at him, shrugged.]

Just that, I'll probably be dead by then. It's not so bad. Like you pointed out, there's not much difference between being alive and being dead for me.

[A beat]

I'm going to serve Father in death instead of going to one of the afterlives available to us.

[judoflipped]

[........ :|]

Yeah, but still. I know you're a death kid and all that, but don't talk about death like that.

[he's lost too many people.]

You're not going anywhere anytime soon.

[refantasma]

You can't promise me that, Percy. Look, I don't want to die anytime soon, I'm hoping to be at least twenty-one.

And even if I do die before that, it's not like I can't visit. I'll just, you know, dead.

[judoflipped]

Oh, yeah. You definitely gotta be old enough to drink in the States before you die.

[he grins at that, trying to change the topic into... something else.]

Maybe I'll just whisper "I'll see dead people" at you. Like that kid in that one movie.

[.......... so specific.]

[refantasma]

It's so stupid! There's no reason why I shouldn't be able to drink wine at least!

[Narrowed eyes.]

You're such a dork.

[judoflipped]

Right? It's so not fair. Especially since we're demi-gods. There should be an exception to all that, right?

[their priorities...]

And yet, you still talk to me.

[refantasma]

I don't get. Chiron should let is. It's not like we're going to get gonna wild...

Well... maybe some will.

[He side eyes Percy.]

Yeah, well, you're not so bad. For a dork.

[judoflipped]

[he sees that--]

Hey, don't look at me!!

[he shakes his head.]

I'm not going to get wild at all! I'm perfectly responsible.

[.......................... yeah, okay.]

[refantasma]

Uh-huh.

[He gives a careless shrug.]

Well, if you say so.

Anyway. Thanks.