Dr. Eggman (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
reneggadetinkerer) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
shellphones2025-06-11 04:25 pm
reneggadetinkerer) wrote in shellphones2025-06-11 04:25 pm
EGGSPOSURE THERAPY ACT I | [VIDEO]
Type: VIDEO
Sender ID: reneggadetinkerer (Dr. Ivo Robotnik)
To: Public
Subject: AMA
Warnings: Megalomania
[The feed begins with Eggman sitting at what appears to be a console facing the camera. He's routed his shellphone camera into one of his Buzzbomber Radniks, giving a much more dynamic view of his quickly expanding warehouse and base of operations. The good doctor has wasted no time and appears to be well in production of not just Radniks, but other experiments and tools using the strange magic and technology found on this world. Anyone who knows him well may be alarmed. But if you don't, he just looks industrious.]
[Once the feed starts, he stands and begins to dramatically move about the room, arms clasped behind his back.]
Good day my fellow Riftfarers!
I have been here for several months now and it has come to my attention that several denizens of my world have made it their mission to inform the public of my er...proclivities. As such, I have thought long and hard about what this means and how to move forward.
[As he speaks, he gesticulates with one arm in sweeping, grand gestures.]
As such, I have decided that it is important, in the spirit of transparency that I make my past known. Yes, it is true that I, the Great Dr. Ivo Robotnik, have sought to conquer my world more than a few number of times. However, I have agreed to be on my...best behavior while I remain a tenant of this washed out world and such, I would like to extend the proverbial olive branch. You see, some Hedgehogs who shall remain nameless unless their name is Sonic, seem to believe I have the propensity for good.
Now, in the spirit of this newfound...charitability I wish to point out that any Radniks I have sold to you or anyone else are not dangerous. This has been verified by trusted sources but if you would like to investigate for yourselves? Well, I have nothing to hide.
Which brings me nicely to the reason for this broadcast!
[Eggman snaps, and a graphic appears on the screen.]
If transparency is the name of the game, I thought it would be a fun little exercise in trust! All questions are valid though I will get some of the easier ones out of the way first.
[Ahem.]
My name is Dr. Ivo Robotnik, but I have allowed others to call me Eggman. It was an insulting moniker I have chosen to adopt, thus robbing it of its power over me. As for my general interests? Robotics, mad science, engineering, aeronautics, and theme parks.
The floor is yours and I eagerly await your questions.
Sender ID: reneggadetinkerer (Dr. Ivo Robotnik)
To: Public
Subject: AMA
Warnings: Megalomania
[The feed begins with Eggman sitting at what appears to be a console facing the camera. He's routed his shellphone camera into one of his Buzzbomber Radniks, giving a much more dynamic view of his quickly expanding warehouse and base of operations. The good doctor has wasted no time and appears to be well in production of not just Radniks, but other experiments and tools using the strange magic and technology found on this world. Anyone who knows him well may be alarmed. But if you don't, he just looks industrious.]
[Once the feed starts, he stands and begins to dramatically move about the room, arms clasped behind his back.]
Good day my fellow Riftfarers!
I have been here for several months now and it has come to my attention that several denizens of my world have made it their mission to inform the public of my er...proclivities. As such, I have thought long and hard about what this means and how to move forward.
[As he speaks, he gesticulates with one arm in sweeping, grand gestures.]
As such, I have decided that it is important, in the spirit of transparency that I make my past known. Yes, it is true that I, the Great Dr. Ivo Robotnik, have sought to conquer my world more than a few number of times. However, I have agreed to be on my...best behavior while I remain a tenant of this washed out world and such, I would like to extend the proverbial olive branch. You see, some Hedgehogs who shall remain nameless unless their name is Sonic, seem to believe I have the propensity for good.
Now, in the spirit of this newfound...charitability I wish to point out that any Radniks I have sold to you or anyone else are not dangerous. This has been verified by trusted sources but if you would like to investigate for yourselves? Well, I have nothing to hide.
Which brings me nicely to the reason for this broadcast!
[Eggman snaps, and a graphic appears on the screen.]
If transparency is the name of the game, I thought it would be a fun little exercise in trust! All questions are valid though I will get some of the easier ones out of the way first.
[Ahem.]
My name is Dr. Ivo Robotnik, but I have allowed others to call me Eggman. It was an insulting moniker I have chosen to adopt, thus robbing it of its power over me. As for my general interests? Robotics, mad science, engineering, aeronautics, and theme parks.
The floor is yours and I eagerly await your questions.
4/4
no subject
( they were just making jokes! no need for the horror show! )
no subject
But ehh...you get the gist...Momo, was it?
no subject
( said with air quotes. that thing doesn't look like any hedgehog she's ever seen before. it's hard to say what would be weirder though. for eggman to be beefing with an actual hedgehog or this weird approximation.
also she definitely didn't mishear when he said they played board games together. )
A fast hedgehog.
( then the all important question— )
How fast is he?
no subject
This also depends on whether or not he's achieved his 'Super' form but he regularly breaks the sound barrier with ease.
I believe I've clocked him at least at 1234.37 kilometers per hour...
Or 767 miles per hour if you're an imbecile.
[Especially if you name your child after a completely ridiculous unit of measurement MR. AND MRS. PROWER.]
[YOU'RE FOXES WHY ARE YOU MEASURING THINGS IN FEET, IT WOULD HAVE MADE AS MUCH SENSE TO NAME YOUR TWO-TAILED BRAT 'PAW PATROL.']
no subject
Wow! I think that's actually faster than Granny!
( then momo's head tilts as she tries to think back to just how fast turbo granny actually is. sure she could easily run 100km/hr, but she also said she could go even faster than that. they just never had a chance to test that since okarun was holding her power the whole time.
...maybe if she comes back, she could ask? )
Wait, OK! ...Maybe faster than Granny!
( she amends lest she offend the youkai who isn't even currently present. sorry, sonic. between the two of them, she's actually afraid of what turbo granny could do to her if slighted. )
Still, that's real fast. And I had to use my powers just to be a contender against her! The blue guy's probably a lot smaller.
( lifting a hand to her chin, momo seems to temporarily forget about the other person on the line as she considers this completely imaginary battle. who would be faster? an incredibly powerful youkai or a brightly coloured rat? surely, granny had more advantages?
but also wouldn't be just be fun to see her lose?
>STATUS EFFECT GAINED: DISTRACTED. )
no subject
[> EGGMAN IS ALSO AFFLICTED.]
Your 'granny' can move at matching speeds?? And you say you have powers that can contend with that speed!
Tell me more!
no subject
UNSKIPPABLE CUTSCENE STARTED.
at the provocation, momo turns her gaze back to the shellphone. those are great questions and she's all too happy to answer them. in detail.
and not at all because she gets to brag. )
She's not my granny.
( firstly. she makes a quick point to the screen. get that right, eggman! )
Her name's Turbo Granny. Some just know her as the 100 km/hr Granny because she can run at that speed easy-peasy. It sounds like a joke, but that old hag doesn't lose speed even when she's got to turn. Nothing slows her down! We couldn't out race her even on top of a train and after we'd taken some of her ability from her. Had to corner her into a trap instead!
She's a powerful youkai back home. Or uh, . . .ghost! I guess you'd call 'em that!
Granny's fast enough to turn into like lightning when she runs or jump through the phone lines!
( it's not that she means to brag about turbo granny as well, but she also cannot help it. she's really been impressed by her abilities and understanding of the inner workings of the world for a while now. )
And why does such a beautiful girl as myself know such a fierce and terrible youkai?
( momo makes a dramatic flourish with her hands before posing with flair. )
My grandma is the fucking legendary spirit medium who trapped her into a doll! There's no better medium than my grandma. We forced Granny to run right into her!
( grin, grin grin. )
Where as I, her
( then she flicks a hand and whispers: )
But between you and me, I'm still learning how to use them.
no subject
[Looking at you, Silver.]
But you say you're just learning how to use them and you were able to deal with something that fast?
[This girl...she must have extraordinary reaction time. Interesting~]
That's quite a feat, Momo! Tell me, how do these abilities of yours manifest?
1/2
no subject
( c'mon. she thought she was talking to a genius or something. )
no subject
"Ghosts" are just "souls" and "souls" are just ways to trick idiots into being good!
So, no thank you! I prefer my electrical synapses and physical responses to wishful thinking and vibes.
1/2
( eggman, ever have a teenager look at you like you're the dumbest person in existence?
you sure have now.
momo scoffs, flapping a hand. )
You're the idiot if that's what you think they are!
2/2
( meaning her. )
Spirits aren't bad or good. They just are. Just like people. They can choose to either be bad or good by themselves. It's up to them how to spend their afterlife.
The spirits who are still here aren't "bad", you dummy. They're the ones who couldn't move on. The ones who are still hurting the most.
no subject
Tell me, Momo. Are there spirits in the room with you right now??
[Yeah, he's not believing this for a second and Eggman's default is just being a jerk.]
no subject
So what, you're just intellectually uncurious?
no subject
no subject
( still is, actually. )
Put your fucking thinking cap on! Open your eyes! There's a whole new plane of existence to learn about!
And I can prove it to you!
no subject
You will allow me to study your telekinesis!
no subject
If I can't prove it to you, I'll let you study my abilities!
( then a grin. momo isn't stupid enough to think there isn't a chance for him to go back on his word. he's an old guy, he might double down even after being thoroughly proved wrong. old guys hated changing their way of thinking. )
If you try to cheat me, I'll make sure no one ever respects you or your name ever again.
no subject
no subject
I understand people better than you do.
no subject
What makes you think you know better than me, Dr. Eggman!
end feed;
See you soon, Doctor!
( there's a brief flash of a floating green hand making a victory sign before momo cuts the connection. )
no subject
I'm officially transitioning to "I hate teenagers."