shellphones | (no subject)

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(no subject)

Type: Accidental Video
Sender ID: 🖕nunya🖕(Sidestep)
To: Public
Subject:
Warnings: Mention of death and torture. Threads are likely to end up going deeply traumatic places.

(It's a typical day on Nogard, though many people who see this might be elsewhere.

Many have probably heard by now that Chris is dead. Has been dead for several days, in fact, after being captured and tortured by Ganon.

Except... they're not?

That's definitely a shot of a very panicked looking Chris running... somewhere, not paying attention to the shellphone clutched in their hand or noticing that it's recording.

Several people can be heard yelling in surprise in the background as Chris darts past them.

...The fuck are they even running from? It doesn't sound like they're being chased.

The hand holding the shellphone bumps into something, and the video cuts out.)

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...Okay. Explains some things, I guess.

[ And he has plenty more questions, but he's trying to decide how to phrase them. They'll probably be aware of him mentally spinning his wheels about that, at least until he's distracted.

Angel tries to run after one stick, before another head tries to go for the second stick. They end up skidding to a halt and scrabbling their paws on the ground before flopping over and giving the humans a really long look. Betrayal. ]

(Chris very obviously makes a show of helplessly pointing at Faulkner.

They don't actually tell Angel that he did it though: there are lines even a villain shouldn't cross and lying to a dog for amusement is one of them.

...Still, it'll be funny if he thinks they did.)

[ He looks offended and points at them back. ]

No, no, I threw mine first. You saw.

[ Not that the dog will actually understand him, but apparently he feels the need to point this out. Angel's heads glance between them and one huffs. ]

And then he told me to throw mine the other way.

(They still aren't telling Angel what they're saying.

They look at Faulkner disapprovingly.)

For shame. You should give him a treat to make up for it.

(They will however, tell Angel that there might be treats in it for him if he acts extra offended and sad.)

[ Angel is not, in fact, following all this, but will take the suggestion to flop over on their side and whine sadly. ]

That—that's not fair!

[ This is a really stupid thing to actually get huffy and sulky about, but apparently he is. He'll grudgingly dig out some treats, though. ]

(They're trying hard not to crack up.)

You're telling me you don't want to give treats to those faces?

(Shock! Horror! Who doesn't want to love on dogs all the time? Especially a dog like this?

You could say he had the face--well faces--of an Angel.)

Edited 2025-09-05 07:09 (UTC)

I give 'em plenty of treats!

[...But they're right that he's cute, and now the whining is making him feel bad. He'll give them all some treats. They whine more because it's working.

They may be pretty sure they're actually the ones who adopted him, but they're also aware he's a sucker. ]

I'm pretty sure giving him any number of treats less than all the treats should be a federal crime.

(They watch Faulkner give treats and attention to his dog for a bit.

And then...)

You know all I actually told him was to act sad to get treats, right?

[ He can't really argue with that first part. He does, in fact, end up giving Angel all of the treats he had on him. ]

Wait, what? That's not fair either! Bein' a bad influence and makin' me feel bad.

[ The whole thing is stupid and he knows it's stupid, but he's also a reactive little shit with a temper, and Chris will be able to tell that as much as he's trying to keep his tone joking, he is in fact pretty annoyed. ]

(And at this point they burst out laughing. It's an ugly thing: they're a snorter, and with their nose all fucked up it sometimes comes out as a whistle.)

Holy shit, look at your face!

(They're pointing and laughing extra obnoxiously at you now Faulkner. What are you gonna do?)

[ He doesn't like being made a fool of, and he doesn't like being laughed at. He can't help clenching a fist at his side, though it stays there for now.

...Normally he'd smooth things over by saying something to smooth things over, but is there even any point when Chris will know what he's doing? He's been trying not to focus on how uncomfortable that makes him, but it's definitely contributing to how on edge he is. ]

Knock it off, asshole.

(And they proceed to do the opposite of that, actually, because why shouldn't they?

They laugh even harder!)

What are you gonna do about it?

(Kill them? Because that clearly doesn't work!)

Edited 2025-09-05 09:40 (UTC)

[ Normally it might be a good bit harder to get him to snap, even with the temper. He mostly seethes and sulks when he's annoyed and gets violent when he feels cornered.

But right now he's barely been holding it together, just... in general. His nightmares were bad enough before they died and filled his head with horrors on the way out. Now he's sleeping worse than ever.

Not to mention everything else that's been happening.

If he stopped to think, he'd probably do something else. He was awfully upset by someone else hurting Chris, after all. But right now they'll notice he barely does think before throwing a punch. ]

(And they're busy laughing at him, so busy they don't even really put much effort into dodging, though they do bring an arm up to block.

Somehow, the punch just makes them laugh harder.)

That all you got, dickhead!?

(And they swing a punch right back. Fuck you Faulkner! You and your stupid face!)

Shut up.

[ No actually clever comeback, apparently. But he's on edge enough that he's prepared to dodge.

...Not quite successfully, he still catches enough of a glancing blow that it hurts. Which makes him angry enough to swing again.

There's no real intent here. Normally his instinct is to finish fights fast and brutal. He knows he's tiny and that his only advantages are being fast and easy to underestimate. And he doesn't like leaving threats around.

But he doesn't want Chris dead. He doesn't even want Chris seriously hurt, if he stopped to think about it. He's just angry and reactive.

Angel rolls back onto their feet, ears pricking up as the heads all watch. This feels more like a dominance squabble than actual danger, so that's all they do right now. ]

(This time they predict the hit, moving to dodge and grab Faulkner's arm so they can throw him to the ground.)

[ And this absolutely works, but he'll do his best to grab at them in attempt to take them off their feet, too. ]

(And they'll let him, doing their best to fall on top of him so they can pummel him.)

Fuck you, pipsqueak! You think your scrawny ass can beat me?!

(They aren't trying to seriously hurt him, but this is Chris: He's not coming out unscathed.)

You don't look so tough yerself—

[ Even if they're bigger than him. He swears as he takes a hit, and raises an arm in attempt to block the next one... before just trying to elbow them as hard as he can wherever he can reach. ]

Tougher than you, ass-augh!

(That's their fucking eye you just elbowed, dickwad! They rear back and rain down punches on him.)

[ And he'll try to block as much as he can before trying to shove them off him hard enough to wiggle away.

There's something almost fun about finally just having a brawl... almost. He doesn't like feeling cornered and he doesn't really like being reminded of being bullied by his brothers either. ]

Get the hell off me—!

(And they don't want to seriously hurt him so they'll let him shove them off, rolling to the side.)

Fuck you, Faulkner.

Right—right back at'cha.

[ But he's struggling briefly to catch his breath where he is, so whether or not this absolute idiocy continues from here will probably depend on whatever Chris does next.

(Wait, they used his name?) ]

(They're not continuing this. Instead they flop on the ground and lie there.)

You need training. (His fighting skills are pathetic. All he's got is vicious brutality. )

Too bad Ranma left.

[ He'll also stay flopped where he is, since they don't try and provoke him more. ]

Not sure who that was, but... I've been doin' a little.

[ With Fenris. And apparently forgetting it all in the moment. That might actually make him look worse, come to think of it. ]

Figure maybe I'll ask Keigo sometime.

[ Because actually learning to fight has, in fact, been on his mind. But a lot more because people keep getting hurt than for this kind of reason. ]