Superstitions Smoocherstitions!

[book2thehead]

Type: Video
Sender ID: book2thehead (Shikanoin Heizou)
To: General Public
Subject: Drunk Detectives Dunk On Dumb Delusions
Warnings: beware of alcohol, kids

[It's that once in a blue moon time where Heizou makes a public appearance on the network. And it becomes quite clear why once the feed comes on: his face is quite pink and he has a big cheeky grin on his face and a bottle of wine in the hand that isn't holding the camera. So... Yeah, he appears to be drunk.

He also appears to be outside somewhere, despite how late it is. And he is also not alone! Beside him there appears to be one (1) Sherlock Holmes, currently laying down on his seat with his feet up in the air and his head dangling over the edge. He is also attempting to play his violin from this position, for.... some reason. Science? Science.

Either way, the video feed turns on to the sound of Heizou giggling and Sherlock's violin playing. And Heizou trying to figure out what position he needs to be sitting in to send out his Very Important Message. He finds it eventually, with the shellphone angled so that both he and Sherlock are in frame - or at least Sherlock's feet are - and he addresses his invisible audience with an even bigger grin.]

Ah-- Here! Helloooo one and all~! Your friendly local detective agency has decided to take on the mysteeeerious case of.... Sailor superstitions~! That is right my dear rift-jumping fellows, we've even decided to do this one pro bono! That means freeeee~

[There's a moment of fumbling the camera, and once it settles Heizou is holding the camera out at arm's length to reveal where he and Sherlock are: what appears to be a fake boat, crudely built and sitting on land (so to speak) like a playground for children. Did they find this? Did they drunkenly grab chairs and tables and bits of wood to build it themselves? Who knows. But it sure is... vaguely boat-shaped.]

Now as you can see here, the great Mr. Sherlock Holmes and yours truly are currently on board a boat! And as you can also see- [He tilts his head down slightly so that the camera gets a better angle on all his burgundy-colored hair.] -my hair is quite red! But have we run into any bad luck on our voyage? Nooope~! Aaaand POOF! Myth busted!

[At this point Sherlock chimes in drunkenly from off-screen:]

Heizou, did we test all the ways to swirl the alcohol? Did we forget one? [Since obviously up and down is an option-] The taste didn't change at all!

[Someone should... probably stop them. Or maybe join them! Decisions, decisions...]

Comments

Text, UN: 🖕nunya🖕

[telepathicignorance]

Bad luck might not do you in but sailing while drunk sure would.

(How the fuck are they so stupid? They know it's not a real boat, but that actually makes it dumber. They might not drown but they will fall and break something.)

Video response!

[book2thehead]

[Heizou's face fills up the screen as he has to lean in just to read the text.]

Ohhh~? I've heard of many great pirates and sailors who do almost everything while drinking! Surely a little wine can't be considered bad luck~

Text always, even if it's rude

[telepathicignorance]

You're going to fall off and break something.

Also I'm pretty sure that being a redhead on a fake boat doesn't prove anything other than you don't take the superstition seriously enough to test it for real.

[book2thehead]

[He giggles as he reads all that, drinking some more wine.]

A fake boat? Oh my dear unimaginative friend, this boat can be just as real as any other! After all, are we not already sailing aboard a massive ship called Eltrut?

[telepathicignorance]

Eltrut is so big that it basically counts as a moving island. It doesn't have the same vulnerabilities that a ship has.

[book2thehead]

[He tuts, wagging a finger from side to side at the camera.]

I'm sure there are people here who have been aboard larger vehicles than this one, and they would still call those "ships"! In fact, in Inazuman we use the word fune, which indicates any vessel that travels over water and isn't necessarily limited to size~!

[telepathicignorance]

(Somewhere their eyes are rolling, and they grit their teeth.)

By that definition, a fish is a submarine.

Just admit you don't actually care about debunking this stuff because you already know it's stupid.

[book2thehead]

A fish is not a vessel~

[But still, Heizou grins and swirls his drink before having some more.]

Mmm... I'm out to prove to everyone that it's stupid~

[telepathicignorance]

It is to its parasites.

(Is that what they are? Parasites the leviathans allow to crawl upon their backs?)

Could just look up stories and records of successful red headed captains.

[book2thehead]

Oh..? Oh! You're right!

[He looks absolutely tickled about the fish thing, laughing out loud. He can be seen turning to Sherlock next to him and showing him the texts, and then he's right back to attention so he can read the rest of the message.]

Aw, but that's not as fun! This is much more entertaining for me~

[telepathicignorance]

(And maybe they grin, but he won't see it.)

Could do both. (A serious debunking and a mockery.

A thought occurs.)

Wonder if the superstition applies to red furred animal people too?

[book2thehead]

[This seems to delight Heizou, making him snap his fingers excitedly and sitting up a bit straighter in his seat.

Sort of. He still sways a bit in place.]

Another excellent suggestion to test! We'll have to find someone and bring them aboard! Unless-- Do you know of anyone who fits that description?

[telepathicignorance]

You could ask Red, I guess. Not really sure I know anyone else.

(They're also not sure Red will be interested, but this is funny.)

[book2thehead]

[Aaaand now Heizou seems to be swaying as though to a tune only he can hear.]

Red? Who is Red?

[telepathicignorance]

One of the guys in charge of the Conservatory. People mistake him for an actual animal sometimes.

[book2thehead]

Hmmm~~ Sounds like someone I'll have to make sure to meet!

[He says this as if he's some social butterfly who needs to meet everyone. Despite appearances, he is not.]

voice | un: astudyinviolet

[astudyinviolet]

If was sailing and managed to get drunk while doing so, that would possibly be good luck for me regardless if I survived the journey or not.

[ He is completely serious. ]

Again, text forever

[telepathicignorance]

Why's that?

voice | un: astudyinviolet because he's too busy to type

[astudyinviolet]

If I managed to get drunk on a ship on water, then that means I managed to not get seasick and felt well enough to have a drink.

[telepathicignorance]

...I'll give you that.

(That is good luck.)

[astudyinviolet]

Indeed. I have been on longer sea voyages before, and consuming the bare minimum of simple fare is the most I can manage on calmer seas.

[telepathicignorance]

That must really suck.

If the seas weren't calm for long enough you could be in actual danger.

(It seems like a bad idea for him to even be on a boat.)

[astudyinviolet]

[ Yes, well, world of water here. He doesn't have much of a choice. ]

When I first got here, I felt sick while upon Eltrut. It was horrible but still better than on a ship.

[telepathicignorance]

That sounds painful.

Think you might be able to adjust to ships too?

[astudyinviolet]

[ There is a delay because Sherlock tries to think if it would be possible. There was the time John rowed them both in the bayou, but there were so many other factors at play that he cannot be sure. Unless John at the helm somehow interferes with his trauma? Can gay defeat seasickness? ]

Thus far, this landlocked ship is the only ship I've felt comfortable on.