Superstitions Smoocherstitions!

[book2thehead]

Type: Video
Sender ID: book2thehead (Shikanoin Heizou)
To: General Public
Subject: Drunk Detectives Dunk On Dumb Delusions
Warnings: beware of alcohol, kids

[It's that once in a blue moon time where Heizou makes a public appearance on the network. And it becomes quite clear why once the feed comes on: his face is quite pink and he has a big cheeky grin on his face and a bottle of wine in the hand that isn't holding the camera. So... Yeah, he appears to be drunk.

He also appears to be outside somewhere, despite how late it is. And he is also not alone! Beside him there appears to be one (1) Sherlock Holmes, currently laying down on his seat with his feet up in the air and his head dangling over the edge. He is also attempting to play his violin from this position, for.... some reason. Science? Science.

Either way, the video feed turns on to the sound of Heizou giggling and Sherlock's violin playing. And Heizou trying to figure out what position he needs to be sitting in to send out his Very Important Message. He finds it eventually, with the shellphone angled so that both he and Sherlock are in frame - or at least Sherlock's feet are - and he addresses his invisible audience with an even bigger grin.]

Ah-- Here! Helloooo one and all~! Your friendly local detective agency has decided to take on the mysteeeerious case of.... Sailor superstitions~! That is right my dear rift-jumping fellows, we've even decided to do this one pro bono! That means freeeee~

[There's a moment of fumbling the camera, and once it settles Heizou is holding the camera out at arm's length to reveal where he and Sherlock are: what appears to be a fake boat, crudely built and sitting on land (so to speak) like a playground for children. Did they find this? Did they drunkenly grab chairs and tables and bits of wood to build it themselves? Who knows. But it sure is... vaguely boat-shaped.]

Now as you can see here, the great Mr. Sherlock Holmes and yours truly are currently on board a boat! And as you can also see- [He tilts his head down slightly so that the camera gets a better angle on all his burgundy-colored hair.] -my hair is quite red! But have we run into any bad luck on our voyage? Nooope~! Aaaand POOF! Myth busted!

[At this point Sherlock chimes in drunkenly from off-screen:]

Heizou, did we test all the ways to swirl the alcohol? Did we forget one? [Since obviously up and down is an option-] The taste didn't change at all!

[Someone should... probably stop them. Or maybe join them! Decisions, decisions...]

Comments

voice | un: astudyinviolet

[astudyinviolet]

[ Sherlock might have been a bit sad about Alfyn leaving, so "scientifically" testing superstitions is a good distraction.

Sherlock is also a lightweight, and he easily hit his limit while testing the odd superstition about swirling wine in a certain direction will make it taste bad. ]

The Petri Family said they took time to bring people good wine, and that man was really insistent about drinking it right, or it'd go bad. We didn't eat it with meat or fish either. Perhaps if we shook it?

[ He's still trying to play the violin upside-down. ]

... but we broke the cork to test the other superstition...

[book2thehead]

[Heizou giggles, leaning back in his seat to pour himself some more wine.]

Well, that sounds like yet another thing to test! Does this wine taste like it's gone bad yet to you?

[He does eye the mouth of the bottle for a second, humming thoughtfully.]

Hmm. Using our hands to hold it shut while we shake it probably isn't the best idea, is it. We could contaminate the wine like that!

[astudyinviolet]

[ The violin playing continues to be awkward, but Sherlock doesn't seem to mind. ]

I have not drunk much wine before to provide an accurate comparison to others, but this seems to taste the same as before.

[ He lets the bow dangle from his fingers. The teatime companion walks over, stubby feet tapping on the floor of their landlocked ship. Undisturbed by the silly drunken antics of the detectives, he lightly bonks his head against Sherlock's. Drink something besides water please. Sherlock seems to take no notice. ]

If black cats are supposed to be unlucky, what happens if you are the black cat?

Text, UN: 🖕nunya🖕

[telepathicignorance]

Bad luck might not do you in but sailing while drunk sure would.

(How the fuck are they so stupid? They know it's not a real boat, but that actually makes it dumber. They might not drown but they will fall and break something.)

Video response!

[book2thehead]

[Heizou's face fills up the screen as he has to lean in just to read the text.]

Ohhh~? I've heard of many great pirates and sailors who do almost everything while drinking! Surely a little wine can't be considered bad luck~

Text always, even if it's rude

[telepathicignorance]

You're going to fall off and break something.

Also I'm pretty sure that being a redhead on a fake boat doesn't prove anything other than you don't take the superstition seriously enough to test it for real.

voice | un: astudyinviolet

[astudyinviolet]

If was sailing and managed to get drunk while doing so, that would possibly be good luck for me regardless if I survived the journey or not.

[ He is completely serious. ]

Again, text forever

[telepathicignorance]

Why's that?

[Video] un: beshackled

[beshackled]

Although that offers some small insight as to why I've been getting shooed away from the docks these past few days...

[He's fairly certain conducting the experiment on a fake boat not even at sea will be judged as not meeting the requirements of a true test... though given their inebriated state he isn't about to encourage boarding an actual boat. They could get sick, or teeter overboard. And as much as his first encounter went sour with one of them, he does not wish the man harm.]

Are you alright?

[Video]

[book2thehead]

[Heizou seems to perk excitedly.]

Oho! A fellow redhead!

[And then he's leaning in close, face filling up the whole screen.]

Isn't it ridiculous? What could our hair color possibly have anything to do with the success of a voyage at sea?! This is unjust discrimination. We should fight back!

[Was there a question? Heizou seems to have missed it.]

[beshackled]

['He certainly is energetic, this one.']

Alas, I fear I have no vessel of my own or crew to which I associate with here that I might convince to explicitly welcome redheads, unfair and unjust discrimination though it is.

[He shakes his head, demeanor turning a little sullen.]

How does one even come to embrace such a ridiculous superstition?

voice | un: astudyinviolet

[astudyinviolet]

I will be fine. We are here to prove the superstition wrong and that there is not some redheaded league of bad luck causers.

[ Heizou is his best friend in this world, and he is not bad luck. Sherlock has been lucky to know him! ]

[beshackled]

[More than a single iteration of the experiment using a single subject is needed for irrefutable proof from a scientific perspective -- but no, he is not -- he cannot encourage them to further pursue the matter whilst they are intoxicated.]

...I see. My thanks for your efforts.

Do take care not to fall overboard. I have noticed that some people tend to lose their sense of equilibrium when consuming substantial quantities of alcohol.

Text; un: Pers

[scooba]

....

Are you two going to be okay?

Video Response~

[book2thehead]

[Heizou leans in close to read the text and- BEAMS.]

Ah! Fremiiii~! It's been too long! How are you, my darling brother~?

voice | un: astudyinviolet

[astudyinviolet]

If we are not, then that means we got one of the superstitions to come true, and you can use that information to your benefit.

action: open to both drunken fools

[chatteblanche]

[ Lynette watches the video long enough to be able to triangulate their location based on the background, then packs up and heads out. While she appreciates the "work" they're doing to debunk silly superstitions, they are going to need someone to make sure they don't accidentally kill themselves.

She likes Heizou and Sherlock enough to be that someone for them. Not to mention that she would be a terrible sister if she didn't look out for Lyney's boyfriend every once in awhile.

Upon arrival, she doesn't make herself known. Instead, she simply has a seat nearby and watches, waiting for them to notice her. She may or may not want the satisfaction of seeing their drunk asses react to her in surprise. ]

action!

[book2thehead]

[Lynette is in for a treat. Heizou is a cheery sort of drunk, especially when in the company of someone like Sherlock, whom he considers a close friend. She can watch them drunkenly discuss more silly superstitions that they've heard or read about from various places, and burst into fits of laughter when they talk about something especially silly.

They are probably not going to notice Lynette for a while. After all, they're far out to sea on their boat.]

Video

[spectacleofphantasmagoria]

[Sweet heavens, what is he looking at here. Lyney is positively baffled as he replies.]

Heizou, mon cher, what exactly are you two doing?

Video

[book2thehead]

[Heizou practically drops everything he's doing when he hears Lyney's voice, eyes brightening in a way that is specially reserved for his beloved magician. The flush on his face even seems to deepen, for reasons beyond the alcohol he's consumed.]

Lyney~! Mon couer, mon amour, mon danna-sama~! Where are you? Won't you come join us on our voyage??

voice | un: astudyinviolet

[astudyinviolet]

We are doing a MANTA quest and science because Heizou doesn't want me to be sad.

[ Clearly. ]

text; un: vulturvolans

[indispensable]

[There are many, many things he can say to this, but he's dealt with enough drunken people (read: Kaveh) to know that its pointless to say anything now, so:]

Don't ruin the floor.

[...yeah that's all he's going to say.]

VIDEO BACK, ENJOY

[book2thehead]

[By this point Heizou is laying on the floor, the bottle of wine and his cup seemingly forgotten on the chair he was sitting upon earlier. The damage is basically already done, though; both Heizou and Sherlock are quite far along in their drunkenness. Though Sherlock's a lightweight to begin with. Heizou's just had more to drink.]

Oh...? Well well, if it isn't senpai himself! Sherry, did you know texting him is as good as speaking to him face to face since his face hardly changes?

[Does he realize the video is still on? Maybe. Maybe he just doesn't care. Either way he turns back to the camera with a hazy grin, clearly amused with himself.]

This floor is ground, senpai! How could we ruin it~?

[Heizou, what-]

voice | un: astudyinviolet

[astudyinviolet]

Is the floor going to disappear? Not again....

[chatteblanche]

[ The pat on the arm doesn’t ruffle Lynette’s (proverbial) fur or get her back up. Congrats on being part of the fam, Heizou! She wouldn’t accept that kind of gesture from just anybody.

She looks back and forth between her dear, drunken friends. Heizou is having the time of his life, but Sherry is toeing very close to morose. That won’t do. ]

He means a toast like a drink. Here.

[ She takes the water she brought and pours them each a glass as she sneaks a wink to Teason. ]

Water, at least for now. It’s important to hydrate when testing things so rigorously.