shellphones | Superstitions Smoocherstitions!

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Superstitions Smoocherstitions!

Type: Video
Sender ID:

book2thehead (Shikanoin Heizou)
To: General Public
Subject: Drunk Detectives Dunk On Dumb Delusions
Warnings: beware of alcohol, kids

[It's that once in a blue moon time where Heizou makes a public appearance on the network. And it becomes quite clear why once the feed comes on: his face is quite pink and he has a big cheeky grin on his face and a bottle of wine in the hand that isn't holding the camera. So... Yeah, he appears to be drunk.

He also appears to be outside somewhere, despite how late it is. And he is also not alone! Beside him there appears to be one (1) Sherlock Holmes, currently laying down on his seat with his feet up in the air and his head dangling over the edge. He is also attempting to play his violin from this position, for.... some reason. Science? Science.

Either way, the video feed turns on to the sound of Heizou giggling and Sherlock's violin playing. And Heizou trying to figure out what position he needs to be sitting in to send out his Very Important Message. He finds it eventually, with the shellphone angled so that both he and Sherlock are in frame - or at least Sherlock's feet are - and he addresses his invisible audience with an even bigger grin.]

Ah-- Here! Helloooo one and all~! Your friendly local detective agency has decided to take on the mysteeeerious case of.... Sailor superstitions~! That is right my dear rift-jumping fellows, we've even decided to do this one pro bono! That means freeeee~

[There's a moment of fumbling the camera, and once it settles Heizou is holding the camera out at arm's length to reveal where he and Sherlock are: what appears to be a fake boat, crudely built and sitting on land (so to speak) like a playground for children. Did they find this? Did they drunkenly grab chairs and tables and bits of wood to build it themselves? Who knows. But it sure is... vaguely boat-shaped.]

Now as you can see here, the great Mr. Sherlock Holmes and yours truly are currently on board a boat! And as you can also see- [He tilts his head down slightly so that the camera gets a better angle on all his burgundy-colored hair.] -my hair is quite red! But have we run into any bad luck on our voyage? Nooope~! Aaaand POOF! Myth busted!

[At this point Sherlock chimes in drunkenly from off-screen:]

Heizou, did we test all the ways to swirl the alcohol? Did we forget one? [Since obviously up and down is an option-] The taste didn't change at all!

[Someone should... probably stop them. Or maybe join them! Decisions, decisions...]

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[Oh, Lyney has seen Heizou in such a state before, when the two of them got a little too deep into the wine together. It’s quite funny to see Heizou so far gone, and he can’t help but chuckle when he replies.]

Mon coeur, you seem to have become a full-fledged sailor! But what brought all this on?

[He giggles, leaning forward to prop his head up with one arm and giving Lyney a dreamy look. That's his magician. So pretty, so sweet. Why is he in the shellphone and not here where he can touch him?]

Lyney, did you know that Sherlock is my best friend? He was feeling down, so I thought I'd cheer him up!

Oh, I am very much aware of your friendship with Sherlock! The two of you are so alike it's charming!

[Honestly, Lyney is glad for Heizou to have a fellow detective friend he can talk shop with. And he knows that Sherlock has said some... well, alarming things that has made Lyney concerned for the man. So some cheering up is honestly not the worst idea.]

You've got a good idea to do so! But, uh... is it a good idea to be drinking so much on a ship?

Hmm~?

[Heizou beams and gestures wide at the playground set around him, holding the shellphone out further so the camera can catch more of it.]

But I'm perfectly safe on this ship, my love! Would it make you feel better to hold me down~?

Ah, now now, should you be saying such things to the world? I thought those kinds of words were meant just for us~?

[Heizou must really be far gone, huh? He shakes his head.]

Have you been the only one indulging in wine tonight?

The world....? Mmm, but aren't you my world~?

[Heizou does look a little confused, though. He's clearly forgotten this is all still public space. He just saw Lyney on his shellphone and everything else faded into the background.]

Oh- Sherry's had some, too! [He giggles a little and shifts closer to the shellphone, like he's whispering a secret to Lyney.] He's not a big drinker, though~

[Oh, Heizou... he's really far gone. Lyney can merely chuckle, cupping his own cheek as he watches Heizou.]

Is that so? Well, you'd best take it easy on the wine! Especially if dear Sherlock can't keep up with you. You don't want him passing out and leaving you all alone, do you?

[Speaking of, two drunks on a boat hardly seems safe.]

Does anyone know where the two of you are? Or should I come and bring you both home?

[He giggles a little, back to leaning heavily on his hand while he keeps giving Lyney that same dreamy, smitten look.]

Fremi-chan said he'll come by! And your darling Lynette has been spying on us~

[Then he sighs a little, starting to look a little faded around the edges despite the smile on his face.]

Miss you, though...

Oh, is that so? Well, between the two of them, I'm sure you'll have plenty of watchful eyes to help you with your experiments!

[Oh, is that sadness he sees hinting at the edges of Heizou's smile? Lyney keeps his own tone light and warm in response.]

I miss you too, cherie. How about when you see Lynette, you ask her to bring you home? I can get the bed and a nice warm pot of soup ready for you, how does that sound?

[Heizou just hums in agreement, much too busy with staring at the lines of Lyney's face, admiring how pretty he is even through the filter of the shellphone screen.]

So pretty~ Do you know how pretty you are, danna-sama~?

[He... may or may not have really been listening to what Lyney said. The sound of his voice entered his ears but apparently none of the words really registered.]

[Yeah Lyney's not even surprised that Heizou isn't listening to his actual words.]

You've mentioned it once or twice! But really, are you sure you're not just blinded by my dazzling display of magic?

[He's giggling again, because Lyney said some fun words there. Dazzling. Magic. Two words that suit his boyfriend so perfectly.]

You should come magic my dazzle, love~

[What does that even mean. Heizou doesn't know either. It just makes him giggle some more.]

Uh-ohhh, maybe I did drink a li'l too much....

[What does that even mean? Oh well, Lyney is too amused to care. He chuckles and shakes his head while he subtly sends a message to Lynette.]

It looks like you have. How about this: Lynette is nearby and said she can meet you at your boat, and she can help bring you home. Then, I can shower you with kisses until you sober up a little, hmm?

[His eyes do seem to brighten at that, equal parts genuine glee, desire, and mischief. He does like kisses from Lyney. They're his favorite thing in the world.]

I can save you some wine, too~ We can drink some together!

Of course, I'd be happy to drink with you, mon coeur~

[Will he actually be drinking tonight? Probably not, but if it came down to it he'd drink a glass with Heizou. He knows how to nurse a glass while another is drunk.]

So when Lynette comes to get you, you go with her, alright?

[Heizou immediately looks so pleased, cheeks going just a little bit pinker as his smile broadens.]

Okay! Go with Lynette, get led to my danna-sama~

Edited 2025-10-19 05:21 (UTC)

[Aww, look how pleased he is! How adorable!]

Yes, exactly! Now, do you see her?

[He giggles a little. He did a good job! Lyney praised him! Yaayy!]

Hmmm~ No, not yet~

[Said without even bothering to look around. Heizou seems to be quite focused on the lovely image of his beloved on the shellphone screen for the moment.]

[Lyney chuckles at Heizou's reply.]

Silly petit-chou, you're supposed to look for Lynette, not at me!

[More drunken giggling. Lyney called him silly! Looking for Lynette can wait. Because--]

What is petit-chou mean~?

If I tell you, will you promise to come home safely with Lynette?

[He is trying to keep Heizou on track here.]

I will, of course~~

[He reaches out with one finger to boop the image of Lyney's nose on his screen.]

Now tell meee! I'm a detective, not a linguist~

Alright, alright! If you insist~

[Lyney laughs heartily.]

Now, you see, petit-chou is a term that means "little darling." It's quite similar to the name of a small pastry, giving it an even more sweet meaning~

[Heizou looks surprised there for a second, and then he laughs happily, maybe a little too loudly.]

Am I a sweet pastry to you, Lyney? Are you going to eat me up?

[Of course, that's the takeaway Heizou would take now. Lyney chuckles.]

How about you come home and find out for yourself, hmm?

[Lyney is not above a little playful tease to get a drunk Heizou home.]

Superstitions Smoocherstitions!

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Good spot to wrap?