Dr. Eggman (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
reneggadetinkerer) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
shellphones2025-12-24 02:18 pm
reneggadetinkerer) wrote in shellphones2025-12-24 02:18 pm
Entry tags:
Bot Humbug! | VIDEO
Type: VIDEO
Sender ID: reneggadetinkerer | Dr. Eggman
To: Public
Subject: What's there to be cheerful about anyway?!
Warnings: Grincheyness
[It's that wonderful, magical, beautiful time of year, isn't it? There's wonder and kinship and love in the air. The spirit of giving is abundant. It's truly the most wonderful time of the year, isn't it?]
[And no holiday season would be complete without some old person very loudly and publicly complaining about it.]
[Eggman appears to be sequestered away...somewhere. Where it is, it's dark and the only lights are from screens he's cobbled together and there's a perpetual sound of grinding metal somewhere in the background.]
[He looks...annoyed.]
From whatever empirical evidence I can gather, this time of year is supposed to be heartwarming. I'd like anyone out there to properly explain, within provable parameters, preferably with citations and sources to back your theory up, how that's even remotely possible.
[He takes a long, pointed sip of coffee from a new mug that he's very deliberately pointing towards the camera.]
And yes, I said "theory." I won't even entertain the notion of a hypothesis because I refuse to believe that any insight any one of you festive fools can conjure has the potential to be tested in any way that matters.
And before any one of you decides to present some sort of faith-based angle for this disgusting display of mirthful misery, I am going to assert that you stow it.
I'm eggnostic for a reason.
Sender ID: reneggadetinkerer | Dr. Eggman
To: Public
Subject: What's there to be cheerful about anyway?!
Warnings: Grincheyness
[It's that wonderful, magical, beautiful time of year, isn't it? There's wonder and kinship and love in the air. The spirit of giving is abundant. It's truly the most wonderful time of the year, isn't it?]
[And no holiday season would be complete without some old person very loudly and publicly complaining about it.]
[Eggman appears to be sequestered away...somewhere. Where it is, it's dark and the only lights are from screens he's cobbled together and there's a perpetual sound of grinding metal somewhere in the background.]
[He looks...annoyed.]
From whatever empirical evidence I can gather, this time of year is supposed to be heartwarming. I'd like anyone out there to properly explain, within provable parameters, preferably with citations and sources to back your theory up, how that's even remotely possible.
[He takes a long, pointed sip of coffee from a new mug that he's very deliberately pointing towards the camera.]
And yes, I said "theory." I won't even entertain the notion of a hypothesis because I refuse to believe that any insight any one of you festive fools can conjure has the potential to be tested in any way that matters.
And before any one of you decides to present some sort of faith-based angle for this disgusting display of mirthful misery, I am going to assert that you stow it.
I'm eggnostic for a reason.
no subject
I still fail to see the appeal. I'm more interested in ruining a heartwarming moment than contributing to it.
no subject
Following that logic, shouldn't you be giving people a lot more gifts?
no subject
If I wanted to give you all mild discomfort, I'd invent flea nanobot and turn them loose on you all.
Besides, even if I were so inclined to pursue that track, I'd have to spend time thinking of thoughtful gifts. It's a proven phenomenon that the thoughtfulness of the gift is directly correlated to the amount of anxiety it produces!
And I don't know about you, but thinking about it is making the eggnog rise up in my gullet.
no subject
But could you maybe promise to shelve your plans involving nanobots for a while? You couldn't put less thought or effort into a gift than that.