Anonymous Text

[velocityraptor]

Type: Text
Sender ID: Anonymous (Hawks)
To: Public
Subject: General advice
Warnings: None intended, will update if necessary.




Have you ever had to reinvent yourself?

I mean, have to might be a bit much, but let's say you get a chance to, and maybe there's some things you want to leave behind, and anything that could've been stopping you before, isn't.

How would you do it?

It just seems like an awkward conversation to have.

Comments

[emet_sulk]

I do not know what regrets you have nor will I ask since you've taken the trouble to hide your name, but I would be surprised if anything you've done eclipses my own deeds.

When I woke up in the sea here, having finally been laid to rest back in my world, it took me several moons to decide on a new course for myself. I do not regret any of the actions I took. I will not apologise for them either because I made those choices after weighing all possible actions at the time.

So should someone question me about that time and lay those sins at my feet, I will shrug and say, "And I would do it again if the same circumstances presented themselves. But I am not that man now."

[velocityraptor]

I appreciate that, everyone has a past.

It's less that it's something I've done and more like I was trapped in a situation that I'm technically no longer trapped in. I only mentioned it to one person who is still here and one who is gone, so people don't know that. I doubt it's something anyone wants to hear about, but they'd likely have questions.

I've been thinking about it because I don't know if it's worth it.

[emet_sulk]

The situation is such that you cannot simply decline to answer the questions?

[velocityraptor]

I'm not sure it would help, I think people might feel I've been deceiving them. I guess I have, but not because I wanted to.

[emet_sulk]

Ah. I see. Thus the source of awkwardness.

Do you fear that those who have come to know you here will spurn you when they learn the truth then?

[velocityraptor]

They might. I can imagine a lot of unpleasant things that can be said to me. Maybe I expect that, even. Initial reactions at home weren't great. I've been avoiding this, but I can't get it out of my head.

[emet_sulk]

If your relationships until now were built upon a false persona then you may have to accept that the truth will break some beyond repair. I've yet to find anyone who appreciates a liar.

But if the difference is merely some buried history then 'tis more a question of time: how long it takes before acceptance is reached.

For my own part, I was initially hesitant to inform my closest friend of what I had done in the ages since we last met, but once I did they still ultimately accepted me. Those who truly care for you will return eventually as long as you're sincere.

[velocityraptor]

I'm aware, but you can't have a lot of secrets without lying about them, even if it's just by omission.

I'd say it's buried personal history. I only know what it's like to be on the other side of it because it did come out at home, in probably the least flattering way possible. That's how I know people could react badly, even if all I did was not mention it.

The person I'm closest to knows, but no one else does. I don't know how I'd get to break free of it without getting into the details.

[emet_sulk]

In that case, would it really be so terrible to continue living the lie here? As you say, no-one else would know otherwise save for those whom you trust.