Backdated to July 2nd

[general_affairs]

Type: Video
Sender ID: general-affairs
To: Public
Subject: Weird ass birds
Warnings: Swearing, nsfw topics



[ So there's a redhead on screen, and he's sitting outside, clearly. It's a nice, sunny day. There are clouds overhead. He looks like he's maybe sitting against something. From the color and texture, and the greenery around him, it looks like he's just casually sitting under a tree.

Why is Reno out near the wood's edge? Mind your business. ]

So, you guys hear that?

[ He lowers the camera so the viewers get a vague view of his be-goggled forehead, a bushel of red hair, and a whole lot of tree canopy overhead. Nothing else is happening, except, after a few moments, there it is:

a faint 'DICKS!!'.

There are a few more replies of 'DICKS!!' echoing from various directions. ]

Anyone wanna tell me why the woods're screamin' about dicks?

I mean--shit. Me too, buddy. But I don't go yellin' about it, yo.

Comments

[general_affairs]

I--

[ His lips pressed into a thin, confused line as he raised a brow. ]

You might wanna get that checked out, yo. That's not exactly normal.

[astudyinviolet]

Is not? I can only imagine the chef's intentions, but it is perhaps a difference in regional cuisine.

[ Could coming from a different world can still be called a regional difference? Regardless, time for the reveal; he's teased the man enough. ]

[general_affairs]

The chef!?

Jeez, I've seen some five-somethings while eating out, but I wouldn't call 'em five-star. Definitely not a chef experience, and definitely not spotted--

Wait, you mean freckles on dicks?

[ To be fair Reno was on the fence of this guy being serious and yanking his chain; he'd seen this username posting around with very limited understanding of modern turn-of-phrases, but this was also a little wild. Still, whether serious or not, the presumptions flying around were entertaining to keep humoring! ]

[astudyinviolet]

Chef, cook, whoever makes the spotted dick. I would hope it would not have freckles for that has horrific connotations for the dessert.

[general_affairs]

It's a what now.

lmao of course it's a dessert. You had be going this WHOLE time worrying about some hypothetical junk. What kinda dessert are we talking here?

[astudyinviolet]

[ No one will be able to see the bratty grin Sherlock has on his face right now. ]

I did start with wondering if the woods required pudding.

The dessert contains raisins, currants, or some other dried fruit, which make it look spotted.

[general_affairs]

[ That one had him barking with a laugh. ]

Nice.

This sausage fest? I'd get booed out of the fuckin woods if I offered. Sounds like a light dessert, not bad. If you ever think about whipping any up, I got a hell of a sweet tooth.

[astudyinviolet]

I have not made a practice of the culinary arts, so I'm afraid someone else would have to make the dish for you. The ingredients do seem readily available in this world, however.

[ Reno, you do not want this boy to cook. ]