Backdated to July 2nd

[general_affairs]

Type: Video
Sender ID: general-affairs
To: Public
Subject: Weird ass birds
Warnings: Swearing, nsfw topics



[ So there's a redhead on screen, and he's sitting outside, clearly. It's a nice, sunny day. There are clouds overhead. He looks like he's maybe sitting against something. From the color and texture, and the greenery around him, it looks like he's just casually sitting under a tree.

Why is Reno out near the wood's edge? Mind your business. ]

So, you guys hear that?

[ He lowers the camera so the viewers get a vague view of his be-goggled forehead, a bushel of red hair, and a whole lot of tree canopy overhead. Nothing else is happening, except, after a few moments, there it is:

a faint 'DICKS!!'.

There are a few more replies of 'DICKS!!' echoing from various directions. ]

Anyone wanna tell me why the woods're screamin' about dicks?

I mean--shit. Me too, buddy. But I don't go yellin' about it, yo.

Comments

SO NOT HERE

[makoglow]

[ Hold on he has to go hunt Zack down and deck him ]

video;

[activatingcombatmode]

[Don't laugh. Don't laugh. Don't lose your shit.]

Huh. Weird. Sounds like the trees are yelling about dicks.

[He shrugs......................! Totally wasn't his doing!!]

It's probably those fancy parrots the conservatory keeps. If that helps.

[A beat.]

Don't know why they're talking about dicks, though.

[general_affairs]

[ You good over there Zack? ]

Fuckin' surrounded by wood and I'm not gettin' any. Pour one out for me, bro.

[ He snorted with a laugh. ]

Oh yeah--I think I saw somethin' about some birds by the Manta office a while back. 'Tempted to yell pussy, but they'd probably boo me right outta the woods.

voice; un: makoglow

[makoglow]

Sounds like a personal problem. And that the locals have some self respect.

[activatingcombatmode]

[What in the world is going on in this voice call with Cloud there? Is he going to have to sucker punch Reno?]

I guess the lesson learned here is as much as you yell dicks it doesn't mean you'll always get dicks.

[Sorry, bro. Well, there's always Naughtilust?]

[empyrean_mirror]

...I beg your pardon?

[THE ONE DAY HE CHECKS THE NETWORK.]

[general_affairs]

You heard the trees.

[ And, as if on cue, another faint chorus of 'DICKS'. ]

They're gettin' a little knotty.

[empyrean_mirror]

[You just received the most disgusted look Kaveh could manage, Reno.]

You just couldn't have kept that one to yourself, could you?

not here

[catsgothistongue]

[]

text; un: angellust

[angellust]

so? birds get horny, too yanno. don't get fowl with me.

text / un: general-affairs

[general_affairs]

[ He scoffed and blew out a laugh. ]

It's just becaws there's all this wood around and I ain't gettin any.

[angellust]

aww, poor you. but it could be worse. ya could've run into a wood pecker.

unless you're into that sort of thing.

Voic, UN: 🖕nunya🖕

[telepathicignorance]

Birds are pretty great at mimicry. (There's clear and obvious amusement in their voice.)

video

[general_affairs]

[ A huff of a laugh. ]

'Course a bunch of cocks would be screamin' about wood then, huh?

[telepathicignorance]

Just following our example, clearly.

(Look at all the queer men around here. The only thing surprising about this is it took so long.)

Surprised they haven't learned to say anything worse.

video: un; catsgothistongue

[catsgothistongue]

Sounds like someone decided to teach them a few new words to their vocabulary. [Wasn't him, he swears.] Either that, or it could just be mating seasons for them.

[Don't ask him, he's not an ornithologist.]

video

[general_affairs]

[ Oh he knew that voice! He was about to retort, but there was a visible shift on his face--his jaw pouted out and his lips pressed into a thin line as his brows raised--when he realized Ranma was certainly not an adult. There was a brief moment where he grimaced, lips peeling back to show his teeth as he sucked in a breath through them, and switched gears. ]

Yeah, had Zack mention some of the birds got out, probably some little brats thinkin' they'd be funny.

[ It was funny. But that wasn't gonna stop Reno from pretending to blame Ranma, if judging by the tone of what he said. ]

[catsgothistongue]

[See, lot of the people and adults in Ranma's life don't have that savoir faire around him. Reno making a face did confuse the pigtailed martial artist a bit, not knowin what's got him so cunctatory. If you didn't want kids and teens getting in this conversation, you shouldn't have posted it to a public space, Reno!

As someone who gets blamed and accused of this and that and everything underneath the sun, Ranma's picking up the insinuation quick, though not the fact it's a joke. His face turned in a scowl, pigtail standing up straight.]

Tryin' to say something here, boob?

[Are you happy to be getting more birb puns here?]

text | un: astudyinviolet

[astudyinviolet]

Perhaps the woods require pudding.

[ Normally, this is where people would be going "Oh no, this poor Victorian doesn't know again," but Sherlock... actually does. He's just joking around this time.

All of you are a good bad influence. ]

voice

[general_affairs]

[ Reno snorts with a laugh, but probably not for the reason Sherlock expects. Unfortunately, there is no such food item called 'dick' where he's from, but hell if the word just doesn't illicit certain mental imagery. ]

I mean. Same. I don't think screamin' about it's gonna work out so hot though.

text | un: astudyinviolet

[astudyinviolet]

If they asked nicely, someone on the island might find them some spotted dick.

text / un; GOLDEN

[bearhowling]

hang on, what's happening????

thats kinda creepy

text / un: general-affairs

[general_affairs]

Oh hey, what's up?

Lmao someone up on Elah taught the birds to say dicks, so every so often you'll catch it on the wind.

Aw, not a fan of a little childish humor, huh?

text / un; Twain

[clarinetnpoetry]

Uh-huh, right. And why are you- I mean someone, screaming about dicks in public?

text / un: general-affairs

[general_affairs]

No idea! I was just out running some errands and hear the faint sound of DICKS on the wind. Had to stop and make sure I wasn't losing my mind when I heard it.

Nice change of pace though from this stuffy place.